Selfish and addicted baastard

Welcome to the forum Onofyou and thanks for sharing your story. We hope you don't mind but we've editied out some of the figures and details of your gambling sessions as some people can find this triggering. We're glad Gamstop worked for you. It doesn't work for overseas sites so we would suggest you consider installing blocking software. If you call us on the freephone Helpline on 0808 8020 133 or chat to us on the NetLine we can give you a code to get it for free. We can also offer you free 1:1 support to help you stop.

We hope you keep posting your progress on the forum and keep checking in with the support of other forum members.

Best wishes,

Forum Admin

Thank you. I installed some blocking software. I am willing to listen for every advice apart from: GA meeting and tell someone for my addiction. I thought I did this to myself and I will have to find way out of this and no one should be stressed about my stupidity.

I will try to write here often and let you know for my progress.

If this time with all this blocks does not work I will probably talk to my parents and attend GA meetings, but i hope i should be fine and avoid the embarrassment.

There is no embarrassment in a GA meeting. Everyone is there for the same reason. If you did recognise someone it's because they are a gambler too. It stays in the room. Try it you might find you fit in.

Hi Oneofyou

Welcome to the forum.

Glad to hear you have signed up for Gamstop. It has been a godsend for me as I too was only into the online stuff and once I signed up to Gamstop (and sorted a bit of a hole I had discovered) I too realised the only places I would be able to gamble online with were dodgy overseas places where I was more likely to get scammed than ever get paid out from.

I’ll get to the point which may come across as a bit abrupt but here goes:

I believe you are really going to struggle with this on your own. There is more to this than the money and Gamstop is just a plaster over the issue of why you feel the need to gamble. If you do not want to go down the GA route, how about some one to one counselling? You can arrange this free through this website. I did this and found it extremely illuminating and it did help me work out why I was gambling. I also realised that letting worries and dark thoughts roll round and round inside my head was not useful and usually led to poor choices and decisions. Just talking to someone and letting them say back what I had said helped show me how irrational some of my thought processes were. Not easy for someone who had spent most of his life thinking I could work almost anything out for myself if I thought about it logically long enough.

Second point. I don’t know you and can only take my perception from your post (so apologises if I am way off here) but your post seems to be missing something as if you are masking something or is this bravado? You’ve lost a 6 figure number, which is a lot to most people, yet this does not seem to be a particularly big deal to you and you don’t want to do anything more than sign up to Gamstop. There is a theory many people acknowledge on here that you will struggle to give up gambling until you have reached some sort of “rock bottom” incident – these seem to vary tremendously between people, it might be gambling away the rent money, stealing money or in my case going through the humiliation of confessing to my wife what I had been upto. I don’t wish any of these situations on you and if gambling has not scarred you in any way then that is great but I just hope your eyes are really open to what this addiction could do to you (again, I would have thought losing the amount you have would mean you do understand this) . I think I got away lightly if I can remain gamble free but some of the stories on here are absolutely heart-breaking.

I wish you every success in your recovery and keep posting.

Muststop123

The help is out there but not on your terms.

People who do recover from addiction, people who get their lives back, they learn how to surrender their self will first. They understand that their way doesn’t work.

GA works for people who believe in God and it works for people who don’t believe in God. It never works for people who think that they are God, who want to be omnipotent and rule their own world.

The difference between well and ill is the difference between we and I. GA members can achieve together what the individuals can’t achieve alone.

CW

Hi All,

Thank you for responding to me. I hear your point and it is very likely your are right about it, I will try to answer to all of you individually.

@Merry go round I know that there is not shame in going to GA meetings and everyone there are for the same reason. It is just not my way of dealing with problems. Also I am ashamed of my addiction. It will be really uncomfortable see there someone I know. I will try to sort it my self, if it does not work I will change the strategy.

@Muststop123 I am not masking anything, loosing 6 figures of course it's a huge problem for me, I just don't want to cry about it, what's lost is lost I cannot bring it back and there is no point for me thinking about it. "Rock bottoms" I had a few, every "bottom" dipper than the previous, right now I am ok. Guys, whatever problems you had at some point, I had the same. I will try to beet the addiction without any further help apart from this web site and GAMSTOP and if it does not work I will listen every single thing you say.

@Cynical wife let me try few months without GA meetings. The moment I gamble again I will change my strategy and listen whatever you have to say.

I am not a gambler who will gamble every day, I do the gambling once or twice a month. I will take one month at the time. If I don't gamble I will continue my strategy, if I do I will change it and listen every advice you have to offer.

I have notice something. I registered in GAMSTOP for 5 years. So far so good, I have not gamble, the urge is gone for now....that is not what I am trying to say.

I start getting calls from scammers, that they are going to give me £2000, £3000....but first I have to pay them insurance.

This is what I think it is: When GAMESTOP gave my details to gambling companies to unregistered me: the gambling companies who are con masters, mobs and scammers, sold my data to dodgy scammers and I am getting this calls from them.

I just wanted to share my experience.

Also, I would like to add that I am reading here everyday, all the new posts and replays, I rarely write responses because I do not think after 13 days GF I am the one who should teach the others. After 3-4 months being GF I will start writing and preach!

Ladies and Gents, just to let you know: I have money and time, but I don't gamble. I don't have any urge to gamble because GAMSTOP prevent it, I know I can't log in anywhere and I am not going to create another email-account to gamble. I will wrie again when I am 1 month GF.

I am reading everything you post twice a day, I just don't comment.

Well done on the 15 days being GF.

Everyone has their own way of dealing with giving up gambling and beginning their journey for becoming GF.

I am no expert but I can tell you the more days you get under your belt the better it feels.

For me I haven’t attended GA but Gamstop registered for 5 years. I have no feelings to try and cheat the system and register to another site or use other tools to gamble.

I think for me it is now about creating positive memories and using my time more wisely, instead of watching money disappear and the slot reels spin.

Good luck and thanks for sharing.

CJ.

Thank you for writing CJ. I agree with everything you said.

Well done Oneofyou, it is great to hear your strategy is working, I look forward to your 1 month GF update.

I deeply hope the gambling companies are not selling our information onto scammers but unfortunately I have absolutely no doubt they would do it if they thought they could get away with it and make money from it. We have got involved with the devil and I guess it will take a while to untangle ourselves. I signed up with Gamstop about 6 months ago - fortunately not seen any increase in scam emails/phone calls.

All the best

Muststop123

Everyone of us are different and have their way of dealing with it, I’m with you on the GA meetings, if I mess this up I will fess up and go down that route.To do this alone is very difficult, you know that so I won’t preach to you.

I see a lot of myself in you, I’m on day 27 I think and only have the urge to gamble when I want to try and pay bills and see it as an easy way to do it, yet end up in a bigger hole.One day I’d like to find out why I really have been gambling all my life, I’m ashamed of myself as I knew 10-15 years ago I should stop but I had debt and gambling always gave me that chance to “ get out of it “ .My dad was around dogs and horses all his life, my friends all gambled it was around me from 12 year old, I’ve now decided to change the way I live, the debt is there , money gone, so now I have to reinvent myself on days I’d normally be sat in front of the tv watching and gambling on sport.The online blocker has helped me initially no end, I’ve never set foot in a bookies for almost a month and I look at them with hate.Im learning it ok to spend money, that’s a massive trigger in my head, I’m learning it’s ok to spend time with my OH , I need to keep it up.....again I’m not one for advice but reinventing a new lifestyle to keep you busy helps massively, good luck mate.

Hello Oneofyou,

We've moved your thread to the 'Recovery diaries' section as it has outgrown the 'New intros' section. Please continue posting on this thread if you'd like to record your journey in one place. If you like you can change the title of the thread by editing the first post of the thread.

Take care,

Forum admin.

One of you

I am like you as there is no before. I have always been a gambler since before day 1 .
My only advice except to never take any notice of what I say is to listen to the ones that speak the quietest in these recovery rooms.

I wish you well.