It stops today. And i start living today

Hi ak 8919,

Thanks for your post and welcome to the forum. 

Sorry to hear that you are struggling with things today . 

If you need to talk to anyone then we are always here 24 hours a day - the helpline number is 0808 8020 133

Thanks 

Forum Admin 

thanks for the reply going into day 2 GF

I'm on day two wake up ver early stressed to death, worried for my girlfriend and worried she won't have me back

Believe you can do this , Divorce , bankruptcy twice , drastic mental thoughts, 35 years of wasted life still wasn’t my rock bottom.

For me it was my daughters face , the let down she felt by her hero. She is my inspiration every day now.

We have a celebration meal every ( small) achievement reached 1 month , 50 days , 100 days etc , from years of lying and cheating, I am focussed have savings   Not worried about bills coming in.

Really believe it is your rock bottom then things really will me so much better in the years that follow without gambling.

I’m here to win, I know it’s only day two but these impulses I have are not going to ruin my life. I’m betting on meself to win this time, trust me that’s what I’m going to do. I know it won’t be easy, I might have a lapse. I’ll probably have daily struggles. But it isn’t dictating my life no more. I’ve had 15 years of gambling but it’s really went south in the last couple of years. Got my first ccj last year. And I dont want it to ruin me anymore than it has, hopefully my girlfriend of 6 years will see/ remember the good in me, and stand with me.

Day two complete. Not one thought on gambling today tbh which is good, all my worry is at the state of my relationship with my girlfriend. I need this my daughter needs this to work. Please. Pray for me if you have a second 

Onto day 3, doesn’t look good with my girlfriend she hates me. All the lying, secrecy and theft.

What can I do?

I know I have massive impulsive problems, honestly I’ve just realised. It isn’t just betting its my eating its my angry outbursts. I just haven’t been able to control myself these last few years. 

I keep thinking of Cheltenham starting today but I don’t want to be Betting on it. I hate it, I hate where it’s put me. I’m not betting again. I’ve told my girlfriend this she doesn’t believe me. I guess actions speak louder than words, I told her give me as much money as you like i will stand in the bookies all day, and I will not place a single penny on a bet. 

spoke to my girlfriend again, i might of sensed a little bit of progress with her, hopefully. Not even thought about gambling really. Just working out my personal debt.

its only about £1300 which is really manageable. I earn more than that in a month so the debt really isn't a burden. I can't pay it all at once because of other commitments, i.e. house bills etc. I don't really have much left over cash once bills have gone out anyways.

My girlfriend gets my wages into her account, but I've took £500 of hers thats what she really blew up about, and my lies about it. WHICH I TOATLY UNDERSTAND. Our relationship has been on a downward spiral for last two years, it all started when i lost out on a months wage by not being paid by a agency i was on, i couldn't be honest with her on how i couldn't pay bills so i resorted to pay day loans, which i got over my head on.

So i gambled to make up for money i didn't have to pay for everything. I couldn't see how impulsive i was being, gambling, angry outbursts, my over eating , I've put about 3 stone on in the last two years.

Just need to get out of this shell I've been hiding under. I know i need to break this cycle. I need to change the way I think, and challenge these stupid thoughts I have.

spoke to her again she's got the next couple of days planned out for herself, and they do not include me 🙁 put me on a downward thought. She's very sceptical about everything i say. 

Im having thoughts to go gamble to win this £500 back but I'm saying no. Trying to reject these thoughts, do they go away?

thinking about taking the dog for a very very long walk. Just need motivation

Just got a load of texts through about cheltenham from my friends on our group chat, usual stuff, asking for tips, what you backing etc

Ive told them how i f****d up last week and that I'm abstaining for gambling anymore as well as alcohol.

They where supportive and one of my other friends opened up about how he wants to give too. After losing all his wages within 3 days of getting paid. Hopefully we will all get through this. ONE DAY AT A TIME. Pray for me 

anyone got any tips and helpful advice for me

Really not feeling to good, I've resisted the temptation to check the racing results a few times so far today. Heads in shed and i feel very anxious. Keep thinking to check the results.

Also Keep thinking about going to have a gamble and win this money back I took from my girlfriend. I keep saying myself no!!!

Just give her the little money you've got and just accept its gone. And accept the fate she decides. I'm desperate for her to stay with me, she loves me but says she wants to be happy, I'm trying to convince I can be that man.

Any support out there?

Afternoon,

Firstly welcome to the forum and I’m sorry to see you haven’t had just the one response when you are obviously crying out for help. this is probably the first time if been on the site in 2 or 3 months and I’ve only really popped in due to there being some horse racing meeting going on today so I apologise for that but when you’ve been gamble free for nearly 5 years like myself normal life tends to take over

Cheltenham always a tricky time for me that’s why I pooped in today and will be going along to a GA meeting tonight. I’m not one for giving tips these days as you can imagine more on the advice front these days. Avoid looking results stats  odds or anything like that all it does is keep your head in the game I you will and whatever wins you will be able to find some justification why you might of backed it.

Your right your debt isn’t the biggest and can soon be paid back but that doesn’t matter, it the lies and secrets that hurt our loved ones more. Best advice is be totally honest and upfront, it might not end up working out, it didn’t for me. One thing for sure if you don’t get it all out when it does eventually come out and it will it even more unlikely not to work out.

Get blocks in place Gamestop, GamBan, excluded from bookies, change your bank Monzo where you can block gabling transactions. Look into counselling through Gamcare, find you nearest GA meeting keep reading and sharing on here, I’ve linked my diary below, you should read at least the first few months it’s a similar tale to yours, things do get better. A couple of things to remember, you can’t win because you can stop and if you just avoid the first bet the second third and fourth will never come.

https://www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/recovery-diaries/better-to-ramble-than-gamble/#post-121952

Thanks for you support oldhamktf. Congratulations on your five years, hope you have many more.

How long was it before you started to feel normal again? And gambling wasn’t on your mind anymore?