Owned up

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Poblwc
(@poblwc)
Posts: 370
Topic starter
 

After 14 years of gambling and losing a lot of money i finally admitted to my husband about my gambling last Wednesday. As you can imagine that was a very emotional day ? luckily for me my husband has been very supportive. The background is that we have a business (i also have a part time job). He runs the business and i do the accounts and keep track of all the finances (big mistake). I had a lot of savings (around £180k) after my dad and grandmother died. I started gambling after i got breast cancer ( i luckily recovered) however i began to play bingo. Won some money and then kept on gambling for years. I stopped for a year in 2011 and restarted after breaking my ankle. My daughter broke her ankle and my mother in law had a heart attack and was very ill for 8 months! Over the lockdown it has got worse and i stole my husbands savings (not all thank goodness) . I wished i had told him sooner. I am now in touch with a counsellor and will get a call every week. I spoke with my doctor and i am now on anti depressants to help me sleep. Please to whom ever reads this STOP now and tell someone. Will power and blocks are not enough. My husband will now look after the finances. 

 
Posted : 8th February 2021 5:11 pm
(@debsy371)
Posts: 236
 

Thanks for sharing. I confessed to my husband this weekend. The journey starts here

 
Posted : 8th February 2021 6:55 pm
Poblwc
(@poblwc)
Posts: 370
Topic starter
 

O wow well done how did he react

 
Posted : 8th February 2021 7:31 pm
(@debsy371)
Posts: 236
 

Really well. I have been gambling for 3 years and It is a relief to be honest. How are you doing

 
Posted : 8th February 2021 7:41 pm
Poblwc
(@poblwc)
Posts: 370
Topic starter
 

Yes getting there well done for owning up now . 14 years for me !!! I was using the business account to gamble and the business manager phoned me a few weeks ago to ask what the payments were . I had to confess i was gambling. She told me that gambling was not allowed on business accounts so i was forced to tell my husband in the end as it was a joint account 

 
Posted : 8th February 2021 8:32 pm
(@debsy371)
Posts: 236
 

Wow that must have been a really difficult thing to tell him. Well done

 
Posted : 8th February 2021 9:13 pm
Poblwc
(@poblwc)
Posts: 370
Topic starter
 

Yes it was feeling sick all the time ?

 
Posted : 9th February 2021 5:26 pm
(@craigers1994)
Posts: 14
 

Hi there, i to have been gambling for 14 years but recently stopped in december and havent gambled in 45 days. Im 27 now and i was somehow doing it from the age of 12 and developed an addiction by the time i was 13/14. If you get a chance i would highly suggest reading Allen Carr easy way to stop gambling. This book made me see things in a completely different light and was able to help me look at gambling addiction and the gambling industry in general as opposed to just my own problem. The book helps to train your mind into believing that nothing good ever comes from gambling (which nothing good actually does when you look at it) You can download the book from your mobile phone app store at £4.99 and its well worth it.

You mentioned willpower. Honestly i personally believe giving up on willpower alone is never enough for you to succeed. I say this because if you try and do it on willpower then that means that you still believe that gambling is good and almost look at it as if its your friend that you cant do without. An example off this would be imagine that you had an itch on your leg that you couldnt scratch. You will be constantly thinking about scratching the itch but know you cant therefore you will feel mentally frustrated and its only going to be a matter off time until you give in and scratch the itch for relief. This is the exact same thing as trying to use willpower to not gamble. You will only be depriving yourself from it and because its on your mind so much you're more likely to give in and gamble again. If you can train your mind in the right way of believing that gambling is nothing but evil, nothing good ever comes from it and that gambling isnt your friend then id say you're far more likely to succeed in quitting. I honestly believe now when you have a gambling addiction that it does nothing but impact you negatively and so far it really hasnt been that hard to give up. Thats because im not using willpower to give up and can see gambling addiction for what it really is.

Hope this makes sense and can help you out. All the best for the future.

This post was modified 3 years ago by Craigers1994
 
Posted : 9th February 2021 9:22 pm
Poblwc
(@poblwc)
Posts: 370
Topic starter
 

Thanks Craigers that has helped me a lot . I’m glad I owned up now . 

 
Posted : 10th February 2021 8:30 am
Poblwc
(@poblwc)
Posts: 370
Topic starter
 

15 days now i’m so determined to beat this 

 
Posted : 12th February 2021 7:23 pm
Poblwc
(@poblwc)
Posts: 370
Topic starter
 

22 days today. Even though it is a weekend i am looking forward to it. I can spend some quality time with my husband and i have my second councelling session on Monday which inspires me even more . Happier times ... bring it on ?

 
Posted : 19th February 2021 6:16 pm
(@debsy371)
Posts: 236
 

I see you are 28 days pob. Fabulous c xx

 
Posted : 26th February 2021 9:45 am
Poblwc
(@poblwc)
Posts: 370
Topic starter
 

Thanks Debs i am now 36 and feeling very positive. Things are getting clearer . I’m talking to my councellor on a weeky basis. She is very nice. All this lovely weather gets me out of the house. I am sleeping better. My doctor is aware of my problem and i do take tablets that help with the sleeping. My husband is very good. 

 
Posted : 6th March 2021 9:00 am

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