So, Im now in Day 12 of quarantine and looking forward to getting outdoors.
I’ve had a cold for 12 days and now my sinuses are very sore - teeth, head, face all aches constantly. I think I can’t shake this off because we’re stuck in. I need fresh air.
Ive not been able to run for two weeks. I miss it desperately and look forward to getting out running through nature with the wind in my face and my heart pumping.
So, one week of holiday followed by 2 weeks of quarantine and eating like a horse. I new the deal. In order to get the holiday we knew we’d be quarantined for two weeks. We’ve behaved and followed the rules.
Anyway, by Monday morning I’ll be back in my normal routine. Can’t wait.
I return to work tomorrow and I must admit that I am looking forward to it. Not so much the working but the return to structure and normality. I have been off work for a full month. I was on holiday for one week, quarantined for two weeks and worked from home last week.
In the past month I’ve not been able to run much and only just starting back after a two week cold and quarantine. So tomorrow it all starts again - consistent exercise, good eating and generally looking after my health. Doing this helps me mentally deal with all obstacles in life. When I look after myself I feel good.
I’ve not gambled in a long, long time now and I’m grateful for this. When I return to work tomorrow I do so with a focus on the countdown to Christmas. I am grateful that I can look forward to Christmas without money worries and I plan to appreciate Christmas with my wife and kids more than ever. I look forward to enjoying the here and now and not thinking that this time next year will be different. When I gambled I always worried about money/debt. It would keep me awake at night. Nowadays its different and I love that.
I read often that newcomers will say how do you replace the buzz or excitement of gambling. For me, at the end, there was only desperation. All excitement faded away long ago. I think the idea of that type of short term excitement is wasted. I’m seeking long term satisfaction. Of course, we all want to be happy but this is perhaps not an emotion we will experience all day every day but I believe you can feel satisfied at least when you get in bed knowing that you’ve worked hard, lived to a moral standard and not wasted your time, money or energy on something that is making you ill.
Gambling made me unhealthy in body and mind of that I am certain. As soon as you stop you can get to work correcting that. I never knew this I only thought benefits centred around money/debt. I was wrong but you don’t know these things until you set about fixing yourself.
In recovery literature you read about one day at a time. One day at a time should be everyone’s mantra regardless of addiction or different issues. Nobody gets fit, loses a stack of weight, drops bad habits, builds new careers/relationships etc in a day and these days we all want instant success but the idea of making every day count one day at a time is something which is appealing. Only when you add up all those days will we see change. Even in these uncertain times of Covid I’m excited about the future and what it will bring.