First off Hello, New to this and have really had enough of this addiction.
Its been a while since I havent had a break. 3 months solid, about 3 years ago gamble free. Then broke when my mate lent me 1000 to go to casino. Thinking thats the amount you need to pinch 50 or 100. That time I won a g. Then after 4 visits won 4gs. Thought this was a freakin ace. Then obviously spunked it all back the next week. Spent 400-500 myself... not too bad.
Currently owe my mate 400 so 200 paid off. Last night blew 370 online roulette. But yeah xmas coming on strong and will be pretty plucked.
Get a few pressies in then go in habitation survival mode.
Daley my dear friend of many years, well done on taking this first step I know it is hard to admit when you have a problem but you'll get so much from this forum and from live chat rooms. We have both hit rock bottom and the hardest thing is admitting there is an underlying problem and then doing something about it. By setting up your diary you are taking that first step to beginning a new life for yourself. Check in each day, rack up the days, spill your thoughts and make friends because you are not alone. In 6-12 months time you'll look back and be pleased that you made this decision. Take it an hour at a time or a day at a time and give yourself a massive pat on the back. Be kind to yourself.
No urges at all until boxing day they were mazzive trying to loan money off my mate to go down the casino. Really wanted to go with a grand for the best chance to pinch a bit (my thought process at the time). Im ok today made it a week and happy about it. Still have maybe just enough to pay bills.
Had a few rough days and a few good days. Ive been having bad thoughts, emotions which I have had to deal with that have suppressed. Ive been playing video games and keeping busy, sleeping alot. Awaiting payday and keeping the days up. Seeing one mate lose lose and lose in his destructive episodes l but need to focus on self and rack up the days. All the best buddy
A poem I found for you lad
I am an addiction
i start in small subtle ways promising many things
I promise you enjoyment and pleasure beyond your wildest dreams
I deliver guilt and despair more horrible than your worst nightmare
I promise you power and courage
I give you feelings of powerlessness and hopelessness
I will force you to live in fear always
I promise you relief and escape from all your daily problems
I create for you greater problems than you ever imagined
I promise you many friends
I only allow isolation
I promise happiness
I create much sorrow
I will steal from you your dignity, your familes, your friends, your children, your homes, your dreams, your spirit and your life
For love freedom and happiness are impossible to find in my presence
So never underestimate me
I am devious and manipulating
I have no preference as to who i pick as my victim, rich or poor, young or old, black, white, yellow or red
I have killed men, women and children- I have no conscience
So if you have met me, always beware if you think you can beat me, that i will be gone from your life and all will go well again
Never forget i will always be there, waiting in the dark shadows just around the corner
I am very patient and i will laugh in your face if i can lure you into my evil world of hell on earth once again
I AM ADDICTION