Quick erratum. You weren't the only one seeing double with the table above - here's the corrected version!
*** If you want your dates removed - then please let me know - it's always what helps you ***
Spendlikewater84 23rd Dec 2019
DramaLlama ** will let us know **
Murlo 11th Feb 2020
Determined to Stop 1st March 2020
Mixer 13th March 2020
Boo 17th Jan 2020
Changing habit 28th Jan 2020
Stephen 10th Feb 2020
Dude. take me outta the table. Thanks x
No problem ... consider it done; you’re outta there 🙂
I will join . It's been 17 days for me with many setbacks through boredom. I just want this addiction to be a phase of my life to look back on, in disgust. There is so much more interesting and worthwhile stuff to do than waste money , time and my mental health on gambling.
I’ll jump on board with this as we are always stronger in numbers.
i am happily on day 449 however I have been longer before my last relapse when I slipped back into the dark world of gambling.
good luck all, we can do this!
*** DAILY UPDATE ***
Good morning fellow recovering problem gamblers. That's not our main title, by the way. We're all decent, vibrant people deep down. It's just our addiction that has been holding us back, but we can tame it and cast it into the shadows where it belongs.
A warm welcome to ExosLucius. You're bang on, there's no much more we can do rather than this wasteful habit that distracts from what's really important. Great to have you aboard. And a warm welcome to Ineffable and your personal target of 21st Feb 2020. We must, as you say, always be on our guard. And we welcome our first Hon. member of the club, Fighter1. We are indeed stronger in numbers and we all want you to have lifetime honorary membership - it's where we all want to be!
Today I'm not going to gamble in support of DramaLlama. Will you join me as we all stick together? Tomorrow, I propose we don't gamble, just for a day, for Murlo - you've had a bit of a helluva week. I'll be thinking of you; join me everyone? Let's support each other, every one of us, every single day. L et's all have a daily reason to stop gambling, just for the day. It might be family, ourselves, whoever. A daily dedication to keep us focussed and respectful of what's important.
The table below indicates our target dates, or if you don't want a date, that's fine. If you want to change the dates, or leave the table, that's fine too. We're an easy-going club, all determined to reach our goal ... to live more fulfilling lives, for ourselves, those we care about and those who care about us.
If we have anything to share, let's share it here. If you're making great progress, share the news. And if you need support, or finding things hard, let us know. We're a team; we cheer as we succeed, and we pick each other up when we lapse - with extra encouragement!
Have a great Saturday everyone.
In no particular order, for every line is personal to us:
Spendlikewater84 23rd Dec 2019
Ineffable 21st Feb 2020
Murlo 11th Feb 2020
Determined to Stop 1st March 2020
Boo 17th Jan 2020
Fighter1 Hon. Member 🙂 <-- our target is to reach and stay there!
Changing habit 28th Jan 2020
Stephen 10th Feb 2020
EsoxLucius 28th Feb 2020
Mixer 13th March 2020
I like the in no particular order part. That's cool. ?
You're a good egg x
Thanks DramaLlama - your thoughts at the Group Chat really resonated and I listened.
I'll keep shuffling the order of the table every day - all that matters is we're there in spirit, trying anything we can to improve our lives, whatever it takes, whatever works.
Whether we're in the 'table' or not, it matters not, because we're all 'here'. Have a great Saturday 🙂
Hi mixer hope you’re well! Checking back on here and glad to see it’s taken off well. Just to report I’m still going strong and just for today I will not gamble
He Determined to Stop, I’m very well thanks and great to hear that, just for today, you’re not going to gamble. Y’know what? I’m with you on that all the way. That’s the best news I’ve heard today so far. A real tonic for all of us.
Have a great Saturday!
I noticed that DramaLlama told Mixer he was a good egg in a recent post.
His footprints are to be found all over the gamcare forum so presumably he is a free range good egg which makes it even better.
Stephen checking in 36 days GF.
From one good egg to another Stephen! It’s a great phrase, isn’t it.
I learned years ago that to break an egg from end to end is very difficult - egg shells are inherently strong. It’s the middles that are, alas, easily broken.
Let us good eggs, and there are many, many good eggs here in Gamcare and in our club, stand tall and not wobble.
I'm in 8 days here's my story the breakup was from 8 days ago the last time I gambled. : (
I've had a.problem with online slots for around 7 years now off and on, I've just recently split with my mrs of 11 years with 3 kids only 1 biologically mine, though I see them as mine. I gambled 1900 pounds this time round and my now ex told me this is the last straw. I feel so low its unreal but I know I only have myself to blame. My daughter is 9 years old and I love her more then life itself but right now I'm finding it hard to even enjoy the company of her as all I can think about is getting back in the relationship. Things are so complicated as we have a mortgage and I feel like I'm rock bottom because im back out on my a**e at my moms. Tbh I didnt treat my ex with the respect she deserved and completely understand that breaking up and never getting back together is how she feels, why would she risk being with a controlling gambling addict. This time round lime I say I blew 1900 pounds this was all the bill money for the month and some. I know I just need to walk away and let my ex live her life but it's so hard. I've never been through a breakup before really 11 years is a very very long road. Do t get me wrong I have been the best boyfriend at times and she knows that too but it's just not enough.
Hi Danpo and welcome. It looks like you've hit a crunch point here, with both your relationships and gambling. As we all often know, to our cost, it's our loved ones that pay the price, often more than we do. Unfortunately, gambling thrives when things aren't going well with its false promise of a bit of escapism. It's not like we gamble to win either, is it, because we ALWAYS give it back one way or another. That's why we're compulsive gamblers. (Our aim to be recovering compulsive gamblers.)
Things have got to change Danpo and you've made a start by recognising, quite rightly, that you've got a problem. The 'Controlling' aspect to which you alluded was interesting. A lot of the time, because compulsive gamblers don't understand the value of money, we become paupers and skinflints to others. All very well us losing £1k in a session but when the other half decides to spend £50 on a pair of shoes and we go ballistic ... sounds familiar?
What you need, Danpo, what everyone needs right now is a bit of calm reflection. The first thing you should consider right now is some practical steps to shore up the financial position. This is entirely something I would do, Danpo; others may disagree. I would hand over financial control to a trusted loved one straight away. This might be your parents. Doesn't matter if you're skint anyway, it sets the scene for the future when money becomes available again. (I've done this, by the way, and provided it's stuck to 100% forever - such is the baffling nature of condition, we mustn't trust ourselves - it can work)
Then I would consider your partner and children. Are they secure? If bills aren't getting paid then something will need to happen. Whether a loan from parents or seeking help from Stepchange - a charity that helps people with debt problems - it's a responsible course of action.
You done a positive thing coming onto Gamcare; this has to be the launchpad to dusting yourself down and starting afresh. At this difficult time it's tempting, insecure as we are, to make rash promises that "I won't ever gamble again". But we know, deep down, that something has to change. This would be a good time to talk to Gamcare, consider counselling and ban yourself from online casinos (Google Gamcare, select the 5-year ban option - if you do one thing today, seriously consider this).
Now ... I'm not going to paint you as the 'big bad wolf' here; many of us - including me - have hit crunch points like this in the past. But something has really got to change this time. You'll get support of your intentions are real and are prepared to back them up with actions.
This is the beginning of your recovery. Will you stay with your partner, will there be a happy ending? Who can tell. Life isn't a fairy story. But there's one guarantee. Your life will be considerable more fulfilling without this 'ball and chain' around your ankles.
You've made a start. Time to build on it, one block at a time.
These are just my instinctive views, Danpo. I'm not a professional counsellor. I don't have all the answers - far from it. Just a 'Regular Joe' who's been bitten by this bug and wants to stop, like you. Welcome to our group, let's see what you can do!
Why not give Gamcare a ring? They know they're stuff and help set your journey. Plus you'll get a lot of support form the Forums, because we all want ourselves and those around us to do well too.
All the best my friend, Mixer.
Wow mixer you have spoken some very true words there especially about the blow money part and go mental when our loved ones spend a little on something they deserve, I have already put the 5 year ban in place, it was already in place. I gambled on my ex partner right nows name. She has said she Is going to put this ban in place just for my wellbeing. Thanks for taking the time to wright in the forum it's really made me feel something, tears was rolling down my face just reading it. I have also already gave control of my finances to my sister, she is the only one I can trust other then my ex.
As far as it goes regarding my ex partner and daughter even if I'm not in the relationship with her she never asked for any of this so I'm going to make sure she is still looked after financially as she is only part time working and the benefits she is going to be getting is ridiculous. After all she is a brilliant mom, well the best !! I currently work my backside off 2 jobs 1 full time and the other at night.
Once again thanks mixer really put a shine on my day that has.
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