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jneedshelp
(@jneedshelp)

I made a new thread because I came clean to my dad. He wants me to come clean to my stepmum too. I can't yet.

All my cards are with him, I've contacted creditors for help, let's see what I can pull out of the hat. I'm f****d for Jan.

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Posted : 31st December 2018 8:01 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Hi jneedshelp,

That sounds like a good idea. Change requires time and doing things differently. Well done for telling your dad. Keep going with this.

Kind wishes

Gabriele

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Posted : 2nd January 2019 11:09 am
jneedshelp
(@jneedshelp)

I downloaded an app called Quitzilla, it gives me milestones and countdowns to those milestones. I recommend it

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Posted : 4th January 2019 11:14 am
Lil30
(@lil30)

Hi J, hope you’re feeling better at the moment - it really sounds like you're on the right track and with a bit of patience you will start to see the rewards. Good luck!

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Posted : 5th January 2019 12:41 am
jneedshelp
(@jneedshelp)

Thanks Lil.

I'm feeling the pressures from creditors, arrears left right and centre, phone blowing up during work. The new job is a lot of stress, but it's keeping me busy with my spare time. I spoke to the ex this weekend, a lot of tears on both sides, but I've been blanked and blamed a lot since we broke up, and I feel like actually speaking and yelling at each other gave me a lot of peace. It feels like closure.

Quitzilla says I'm 90.1% away from 2 weeks, and my dad has all my cards so it'll be a while longer at least. At my last binge (on the 31st) I had a fiver left in my pocket. I still have that. I might frame it if it lasts to next NYE.

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Posted : 13th January 2019 2:09 pm
jneedshelp
(@jneedshelp)

I've spoken to some creditors today, trying to resume payment plans. Some really stung me but I think I can make the financials work. Each month I reduce the payday loans, is a month in the future I'll have more money at least

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Posted : 16th January 2019 9:37 pm
Lil30
(@lil30)

Good attitude! Glad things are slowly turning - I know the feeling about the phone - it’s weird how normal that has become for me... I just ignore the calls! I'm 16 days today, just getting through to the end of the month on practically nothing!

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Posted : 16th January 2019 9:52 pm
jneedshelp
(@jneedshelp)

Yeah, I've still got a couple that are difficult to deal with, so I'm avoiding those calls. Hopefully I'll fix things before I get baillifs, but so long as the baillifs show at the beginning of the month I can make it work

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Posted : 18th January 2019 6:59 am
Merry go round
(@merry-go-round)

Call stepchange for advice, they make the calls for you if you choose to take their help.

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Posted : 18th January 2019 7:12 am
jneedshelp
(@jneedshelp)

I spoke to stepchange before, they said any DMP or IVA would cost me more than I'd save, so there's a limit to what I can do. I guess some late payments on my credit file is the least of my worries right now

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Posted : 19th January 2019 6:59 pm
jneedshelp
(@jneedshelp)

I pay my friend off on October 1st, paying in instalments until then, then I'll have a huge chunk to put towards institutional debts and things will move fast.

I should be done with Payday loans by the end of May, except for the ones I defaulted on, which are either in payment plans or collections not accruing interest. I'm going to put all my money on these on payday to stop me spending on gambling. I'm going to ask some not to lend to me as they get paid off too. Cutting off the means 🙂

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Posted : 22nd January 2019 9:32 pm
jneedshelp
(@jneedshelp)

I'm going to be home alone for a weekend in March, I've caught myself planning to go back to the casino during that weekend. I'm hoping seeing 2 months (by then) of paying off debt will dissuade me. We'll see.

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Posted : 27th January 2019 7:39 pm
jneedshelp
(@jneedshelp)

Relapsed. I hate myself so much. 32 days and this

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Posted : 2nd February 2019 6:27 pm
ODAAT
(@odaat)

New diaries, new payment plans, best intentions are all worthless when it comes to addiction...Not sure how you managed to relapse with your dad holding your cards but you need to shut that door & stop thinking this is a financial problem!

I spent years convincing myself that getting straight was all I needed to do but that was rubbish...Everytime I got straight, I ran up more debt. Since stopping gambling I have struggled to firstly recognise my emotions & then secondly to deal with them but today I don’t risk my life on the spin of a reel because I have accepted that I cannot just try harder, I needed help! I need help most days, some days I won’t ask for it & I lie in bed feeling sorry for myself but even on those days I know my bills are being paid because I don’t gamble anymore...I can’t win because I can’t stop.

Gambling is never going to make you love you, you need help & support from counsellors and/ therapy/12 Step groups to do that & when you can look yourself in the eye & be happy with what you see, you won’t need to chase the false high of addiction any longer.

With actions, not words, addiction can be arrested - ODAAT

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Posted : 3rd February 2019 1:23 am
jneedshelp
(@jneedshelp)

Please never comment in my thread again ODAAT. Based on your comment history, you get off on finding people at their worst and leaving negative comments. I don't expect rainbow and sunshine, but this is a place for encouragement and advice, not for you to berate people.

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Posted : 10th February 2019 8:50 pm
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