New me started 5th June 2020

@charlieboy Well done for talking about it. Allowed to eat away at you these thoughts fester and can cause relapses. By sharing it you have taken the power out of it. 

Do the same with your GA group and you'll be fine.

I would probably talk to your friends(if they were friends before bingo) to see if you could meet up for some company and a laugh. We all need that from time to time.

I'm really impressed though by the work you have put into your recovery.

Chris.

Hi Charlieboy
As you know our gambling experiences have been very different. Mine was a very short lived time scale but sadly no less destructive. You sounded a bit down so I just wanted to remind you to be kinder to yourself. I think you are just missing the ‘habit’ of going out to Bingo with your friends and having a nice night out. Thats completely different to sitting at home on our phone waiting for matching leprechauns to magically ‘win’ us money that we then spend again on more slots. I know that you aren’t missing that! 
I think you are just missing what used to be a night out with friends.  With regard to being drawn back in, I think you are right not to play bingo anymore and to try and find something different to do.
Remember- You are an amazingly strong person!

Hi Chris ty for kind words and your valuable support and insight. I feel better just for writing it down, this for me is why GA is invaluable. The week prior we talked about leaving an opening  as an avenue for gambling in the future. All week it played on my mind as I knew I had this small open door albeit I had no temptation whatsoever to go there now, then after this week's meeting I knew that I had to stop dwelling on this and sort it out. In a way it's been good as it's really hit home to me what complacency really is. Yes I will be sharing at GA next week as I know the one guy was a little concerned already I have formed those bonds there, and he could tell I was struggling a bit with something. Thanks again Chris hope life is treating you well

Hi tryingtomoveforward. Agree with everything you said that way of socialising has been my way of life for 20 years now but as you rightly determine is the whole thing isn't it , putting on make up doing your hair etc etc and once things are easier we can do something else. The thing you said about leprechauns made me giggle and you are right totally different, you can stare at your phone in your pjs looking like you've been pulled through a hedge backwards !! And definitely not missing that !! If you know what I mean I know I can't play bingo but I just couldn't shut that door my friend first took me there to cheer me up When I was in a really dark place just getting over a miscarriage it was fun I enjoyed it made me forget for a while ,I went on to have 4 miscarriages in total before my lovely son and it was my escape. So I don't need that any more right ,it's all in the past, I've closed the door . Thank you for your support with this means a lot , and you made me laugh. I hope you're doing good and things start to settle down for you 

Hi, thanks for your message.Still here but not posting much as difficult to type much due to shoulder blade, hopefully should have sling off this week ??

Ohh gosh sorry bladesman I forgot about your accident. Yes hope you have sling off this week you must be fed up of  it now. Take it easy though as you won't be back to normal just yet.

Dear diary most of my area back in lockdown from 6pm tonight, so last face to face GA last night, setting up for zoom meeting next week. I'm ok with it now as I'm a little further down the line in recovery and I'm coping better. Was a really good meeting last night, I talked about what I posted 15th September. The guys were really pleased not only that I had recognised a potential banana skin for the future but that I had spoken about it , made positive actions , and that things that they had said the previous week had made a difference to me. So all in all a good meeting and one guy got his year pin so that was quite emotional. I'm feeling good today, trying to look for positives going on zoom we won't have to wear masks...yeyy

Dear diary day 113, life is calm n my head despite the craziness of the outside world. The chaotic thoughts that make you feel like you're plugged into a socket have gone....it's good there's more room for real thoughts, not the computer generated spinning reels of the slots. I will see my sister- in-law tomorrow first time since I stopped gambling and first time since she said I was "appalling" could be interesting , but I won't be bullied I'm doing good and I'm not going to let anyone derail me.

Day 115. Well went ok with sister-in-law we didn't talk about the elephant in the room !! So exchanged pleasantries and it was ok so onwards again !! Feeling positive

Congratulations Charlieboy on your excellent progress. You are putting your heart and soul into recovery whilst offering support and encouragement to your fellow travellers. I suspect that you are an all or nothing kind of girl with a great sense of humour and a heart of gold. The ducks think your absolutely quackers ????? and send you their fondest regards.

I was pleased to read that the get together with your sister in law went well. Are you sure she said you were appalling because it sounds very much like appealing on a windy day ???.

Many thanks for visiting my diary and posting kind words. It always brightens up my day when gamcare friends visit.

Aum   Aum   Aum

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Hi diary day 119, life is going ok apart from covid that is getting super scary again.. With regards to gambling no issues I feel really positive .

Day 120 . 4th October will be 4 calendar months still taking it day by day but must say I am allowing myself to be a bit pleased with myself. Emotionally I'm stronger and I'm facing things and solving problems head on not burying my head in the sand. I'm so pleased for bladesman he has had a lot of problems and some very upsetting ones but he's staying strong and using the resolve he's built up over past few months . On this forum and in GA I'm constantly learning and today reading bladesman post has strengthened my resolve to do the right thing face problems....gambling is definitely not the way !!! 

Hi, thanks for the mention and am glad you got something out of my post. I think I put it down just to show myself how much stronger I am at fighting this addiction now but also maybe if someone reads it they too will take some strenght in their own struggle.

You post a lot on other peoples threads giving support and isn't it great when something you write rings true for someone and helps them in their journey. I posted a couple of weeks ago to someone who was at 14 days and thought it was insignificant to where people like us are. I told him not to feel that way as I can remember how raw the early days were and reading other peoples stories only helped to strengthen my resolve to get through to where I am now.

Can you believe how we now feel after so much heartache and stress, lets just keep going and maybe help many others on the way.

All the best

Good to read how you're doing Charlieboy. Your honesty on this forum is very inspirational, keep it up as you're helping lots of other people like me by sharing your story! 🙂

Dear diary today is 4 calendar months ! That's a third of a year ! Christmas is coming ,this year there is money for presents, last year everyone had nice presents.....on credit cards !! Silly silly me but never again, I have always had a bad relationship with money way before gambling so that's something I'm working on now . Onwards and upwards !!