Im 23 years old and i've been gambling ever since I was 18.
It started when I turned 18 and received a trust of about 15 000£ from my dad. My closest friends were already gambling at online casinos and that's how I got started. The very first time I gambled I got super lucky and ended up winning about 5 000 £. I ended up cashing it out, although the website did not have instant withdrawal and me being the compulsive teenager ended up canceling the withdrawal and losing everything I had won + deposited within minutes. I remember this making me feel sick to my stomach but I still did not really understand the value of what I had lost.
Fast Forwarding a year I've managed to lose all my savings + the 15k I received from my dad. Since I was still living at home I didn't have any problems living my life with the scraps I had left.
At 20 I ended up getting a job paying 10 £ an hour, Every paycheck I received I ended up putting into an online casino and losing all of it within minutes, Which led to me quitting my job after about 6 months. I had no motivation to carry on working for 10 £ an hour when I knew the amount of time it would take for me to make all that I had lost back. Also I always thought in the back of my mind that I would just end up gambling it away so what was the point of even working for a paycheck?
After I quit my job I was "kind of'' clean for about 1 - 2 years mainly due to my only income being about 500£ a month from student contributions. Although during these years I still gambled all the money I would receive from family and friends during christmas and my birthday (About 500 £ a year).
Coming up to 2020 I managed to get a great job that pays 3000 £ a month, I've been working there for 2 months now and I lost my first paycheck within hours of receiving it but managed to get on a roll with my 2nd paycheck, after winning I thought to myself that I've made back a great deal of what I've lost previously and should never make a bet again. 2 days later I ended up losing all of it + my paycheck leaving me back where I started.
I can't stop gambling even though I understand that the chances of me making back what I've lost is next to impossible. I thought I was gambling to chase my losses but even after making almost all of it back I didn't stop. I don't have much motivation to continue working either as I just keep thinking about the amount of time it will take me to get back the money i've lost and how I might just end up losing every paycheck I receive.
Today I came clean to my dad about my problem (he always knew about it but not to full extent) and got a very negative response from him.
I'm turning here to see if anyone has any advice for me. Thanks.
Well done for being honest with your dad big step..he probably just needed time to process it.
Have you got any blocks in place ? Gamstop is great you sign up on the gamstop website and it prevents you being able to register or stay registered for gambling websites.
Blocks are important as if you get an urge they are there to safeguard
Some banks have the ability to ban gambling transactions perhaps looking into this will help.
Also contact gamcare if you haventalready they have many treatment options. Including cbt which can be very useless to help you understand why you gamble and what you could change to prevent and deal with this.
Another option is would your dad or another person be supportive in managing your finances so you dont have the access whilst you recover more
Well done for reaching out though.
I hope I could be of some help
You have to accept losses now and start a fresh
Loulou x
Hi Stefan.
I'm not coping that well so can't offer you any words of wisdom but LouLou has welcomed you with lots of advice and encouragement.
If I could offer something it would be to say that you are in a really fortunate and enviable position. It probably doesn't seem that way but if you started gambling at 18 and are 23 now that's just a blink of an eye in life's journey. It's just a blip, and you got it out of the way early in your years.
I don't underestimate the pain it's caused/causing you, it's truly awful but there's a lot of assistance available to get you to a stronger place. I wish you well in getting there and the gambling becoming something you went through "in the past". Best wishes.
Try this.
Instead of branding yourself saying I cant
Try "With effort" and write it on post its and put it up on the walls in front of you.
How can I...
It is convenient to brand but that is not an effort. The effort is giving your mind a challenge.
Take a piece of paper and a pen. Write down. How can I have a day without gambling? How can I live better as a human being? How can I change my path to a better one?
When you force your mind to create solutions you start getting he tools to change things.
Best
C
Hi @Stefan
Welcome to the GamCare forum and thank you for sharing your story. It is great to see the support you have received from everyone so far.
I wondered if you have contacted us on the helpline or the live chat at all? There are lots of practical steps you can take which can help you to stop gambling and there are also different options of support available to you. Our advisers can go through these with you if you are able to give us a call. We are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and here to support you in every way we can.
Warmest wishes
Zoe
Forum Admin
Hi Stefan,
Well done for taking the first step.
Like you, I would also chase my losses and even when winning back what I'd lost that day (or that week) and saying to myself when I get to £XX I will stop and cash out... I never did. That's because it's not just about money - it's the thrill of it. And also no amount is ever enough. Winning a few hundred just makes me more obsessed and stake higher amounts.
So I really advise you to stop now, and put whatever measures you need to put in place to help you do that. You need to draw a line under what you've lost - time really is a great healer and although you feel sick thinking about it, it can always get worse! So don't be complacent. You know you have a problem and need to stop. It sounds like you have a good job, and if you stick at it you can start saving your wages to give yourself a future rather than gambling it all away. I've been where you are now and I'm definitely not perfect by any means and recently had a relapse myself but you need to be kind to yourself and make positive steps on your road to recovery.
I wish you all the best,
Lisa
You can stop gambling. You just need to want to.
The money is gone. Regard it as spent on entertaining yourself but understand and accept it's gone. Draw a line underneath it. You're fortunate enough not to have gambled yourself into ruinous debt but that's where this is heading. Do all you need to to stop now.
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