Hello everyone. I am back on here for like the zillionth time in 18 months....
But now I am ready to quit for good.
This evening I lost £450 on online roulette and realised that enough was enough. I asked myself this.... Do I enjoy gambling? Do I enjoy losing? Do I enjoy winning?.... The answer to all 3 of those questions were NO!
Admittedly there was a time when I loved winning because the money felt like mine. But now I am smart enough to know that any wins these days are temporary. I am addicted to chasing losses. They're going straight back in to the casino's pockets (and more!).
Anyway, talk is cheap....
Tonight I have made three big steps to help with my recovery. Two of which I have never done before.....
I have self excluded from my one and only betting account (which I've done before).
I have contacted Gam Care to arrange some 1:1 counselling sessions....
And I have told one of my closest and trusted friends about my 10 year gambling history. Nobody else has ever known. I have lived a double life over the years.
Tomorrow, as I am off work, I shall self exclude from all my local bookies in the area. I haven't visited a shop for a few months but I shall do that just in case.
I am deadly serious about it this time. I am ready to give up. I feel like a beaten man and I don't want to live like this anymore. I would/could have so much money to do nice things with. But I've chosen the miserable world of gambling.
Tonight, that changes. Tonight I get my life back. I aim to rekindle my hobbies/passions that I have neglected all these years. I aim to go out more and do more stuff instead of using "no money" as an excuse.
It's time to set myself free from this ongoing misery.
Tomorrow shall be Day 1.
Any help/encouragement will be much appreciated. I am so sorry for all those people I let down on here in the past, they know who they are. But now I am here to stay.
Much love, Moorey
Evening Moorey, Welcome and glad your here in such high sprite, you are in a great place now you feel nothing for what you are leaving behind, your totally right the only thing gambling does is take take take, it takes your time,sleep and your love, it does take your money but what ever you choise to replace gambling with will still take your money but it woundn`t leave you feeling sick, tired and loanly.
Look forward to following your recovery and hearing how life improves quickly for you.
All the best
Chris
screwball wrote:
Evening Moorey, Welcome and glad your here in such high sprite, you are in a great place now you feel nothing for what you are leaving behind, your totally right the only thing gambling does is take take take, it takes your time,sleep and your love, it does take your money but what ever you choise to replace gambling with will still take your money but it woundn`t leave you feeling sick, tired and loanly.
Look forward to following your recovery and hearing how life improves quickly for you.
All the best
Chris
Thanks Chris! Yes, I am aware that I'll probably end up spending more money on basic things whilst I'm gamble free - such as shopping, clothes etc so I have to try and be careful on that front too. Haha!
Hi Moorey,
Great that you have started a diary to record your progress. 74 days I was in the same boat starting my diary here. Very lost, very depressed I was, however as time passes I am learning to forgive myself. The time has just flown by. Soon I'll be hitting 100 days! Your right to exclude from your local bookmakers whilst your in the right mindset. If you leave it then it's just an accident waiting to happen down the road when you have a bad day. I believe they ask for a passport photo and if you admit to a problem with gambling they are in breach of the license requirements set out by the gambling commission if they don't help you in excluding. Once a clerk told me to come back tomorrow to see if I change my mind just because he couldn't be bothered. He soon changed his mind when I laid down the terms of the gambling commission though! Keep your head up and post often. It's a great way to look back and reflect as time passes.
Good luck
Scambling
Fancy going back on the Challenge Moorey? Whether you do or not, welcome back, bittersweet of course, but let's see if you can veer off this painful direction and get yourself back on track! Wishing you well.
Mixer
Welcome back to the diaries Moorey. I posted earlier but accidentally put it in Scambling diary. I sincerely hope you can find your way forward ...stephen
Good luck moorey stay strong this is a battle we can all win .
Getting back into your hobbies is a great way of beating this . I am a keen fisherman and have recently started cleaning of my gear I am going to use this to take my mind of the footy at weekends .
Sitting on the water no smartphone or iPads just nature miles from any shops .
Mixer wrote:
Fancy going back on the Challenge Moorey? Whether you do or not, welcome back, bittersweet of course, but let's see if you can veer off this painful direction and get yourself back on track! Wishing you well.
Mixer
I would love to get back into the challenges Mixer. Thank you. I'm awaiting a phone call to arrange 1:1 counselling sessions. I won't lie, I'm extremely nervous about them as they are totally out of my comfort zone. But I know something different has to be done as I can't go on making the same old mistake over and over again,
Thank you Stephen and Eurohoop! I promise to give it my best shot. Need to take some inspiration from you boys.
Day 1 gamble free
Productive day in the end....
Went for a long run, been to the doctors regarding my anxiety, did some assesments for work this morning and took a phone call regarding sorting out 1:1 counselling from GamCare.
The dark cloud is still hovering on top of me after my binge last night but I know that I can turn things around and keep it that way.
I’ve put many more things in place this time around to achieve my ultimate goal.
As compulsive gamblers, we want a quick fix to our problems. But I know I have to be patient.
One of my goals is to have a worry-free Christmas. To not have to put on a brave face during the family festivities. To be able to genuinely relax and enjoy my Christmas would mean the world to me. The only way that will happen is if I continue to stay free from gambling.
Moorey
Hi Moorey.
You can do this bud. As you say there is no quick fix. Time is the great healer in everything. Take it day by day, hour by hour. Keep those nice thoughts like a carefree Christmas in your mind and use them as your goals. Do the counselling, I believe without it we have no hope. I find counselling a huge help.They are not judging you, they are helping you. Anxiety needs sorting, it can just get worse and it may also be the signs of something else as it was with me (Mental Health) so get talking to your GP. Take care my friend, and the best of luck.
2 days gamble free.
Small beginnings....
But already starting to feel a bit more positive about life.
Been keeping myself busy these last couple of days.
I have a week off so in some ways that’s not been ideal.
I’ve been doing lots of running and getting fit.
Onto Day 3....
Well done Moorey on your show of determination. I found that the best way forward is to use the multiple self-exclusion. Also giving over financial control to a family member is crucial in the early stages.
It seems like you really want to end this gambling madness which takes over people's lives. I wish you well in your abstinence and recovery, whilst finding many other fulfilling ways to spend your time.
changemylife wrote: Well done Moorey on your show of determination. I found that the best way forward is to use the multiple self-exclusion. Also giving over financial control to a family member is crucial in the early stages. It seems like you really want to end this gambling madness which takes over people's lives. I wish you well in your abstinence and recovery, whilst finding many other fulfilling ways to spend your time.
Thank you. I do want to end this madness. It's not quite reached debt yet but that's because I'm managing to stop just before that. But I'm fed up of not being able to afford things that I should. I should be saving £300 a month but that's going on gambling. Not anymore!!!
Hi Moorey,
I have a lot of time for you, my friend, and welcome you back to the Challenge. But much, much more than that - let's help you find yourself again.
All the very best, as alwsys.
Mixer
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