My journey..

Another day and definitely not another dollar. Day 5 and feeling so good. Still occasional thoughts of gambling enter my head, but I’m getting good at turning the channel over! ?! Looking forward to chat tonight, even if sometimes I don’t say a lot. I enjoy reading what others have to say. 

Day 6 and had very few thoughts about gambling. It’s helped that I’ve been busy today. I certainly feel I’ve got this ✌️

Well done tizzy 6 days the first week is a big step your doing well  !

Lou x 

One whole week without gambling. Today I’ve only thought about it a couple of times. I know I’m lucky in that respect. 
But what I have learnt (even though I knew really) is that I can never have a “little go”   That merely starts the whole ball rolling again. Feeling positive x

Day 8 done and dusted. Hosted a family bbq today for my Mum’s birthday. Gambling never entered my head until I came in here earlier this evening. I am really pleased with how I’m feeling. When you gamble, a lot of the time you feel disappointed in yourself. I felt I let my parents down. They knew I’d previously had problems, but didn’t know to what extent. They thought it was under control as I continued to gamble. 
Now I am able to look them in the face ?

Isn't it a lovely feeling when you are able to look your loved ones in the face ... priceless, Tizzy 🙂

Thanks for your comment Roch, it certainly is priceless!

Day 9 today. All good ?

Day 11 woop woop. Thinking about gambling less and less. Keeping busy with other things. X

So today is two weeks gambling free. So anyone who isn’t a CG that won’t mean a lot. To us, it’s a lot. But for me personally, I’m so happy that the spell that gambling cast upon me is weakening by the day. 
Why oh why do we become complacent? Why can’t we see this demon for what it is? Why do we suddenly one day out of the blue think we can have a “little go” and there will be no repercussions to our actions? 
Thinking about it logically, it really doesn’t matter if you’re 1, 10, 100 or 1000 days GF. What’s more important is where you’re at. How much you believe your life will improve if you don’t gamble. 
What’s very tough for some is coming to terms with what’s lost. I’ve never dwelt on that. Maybe because my boyfriend supports me. If I didn’t have him, no doubt things for me would be very different. 
I’m waffling.  Time to read a little more of Captain46’s diary ?

Goodnight, God bless ❤️

May your weekend have a sparkle 

Be it peaceful calm or busy

Half a month without a bet

?There aint no stopping Tizzy?

Congratulations ??? on your excellent progress ?

Respectful best wishes

From Aum ?

Hope your okay tizzy ..im sorry 

Lou x

Thankyou for the kind words on my diary ?

Well done on your recovery so far Tizzy, i really hope you continue to feel and see the differences and its lovely youve also shared valuable support to others too

Lou x

Good morning Tizzy.

Wishing you and your loved ones a wonderful weekend celebrating your grandson's 2nd Birthday??

Aum ?

Hi Tizzy

Just read your post on my diary tonight although I see you posted a few days ago. Really appreciate the post and also even more so that you have taken the time to read my entire saga of a diary! I'm not aware that anyone else has read it all before so you probably know me better than anyone else on this Forum! And I know you said you could relate to my diary and acknowledged my honesty, thanks for that.

I'm really sorry you felt hurt by my response in chat re what I do for a living, not intentional I can assure you. I think very highly of you and see you as a friend, in as much as anyone can be a friend on here. Yourself and some other regulars on chat are the best friends I have at the moment, virtual or otherwise. I guess I've always been a bit wary about saying anything about work in case by any chance I am talking to someone who knows me and is able to identify me. Although there have been occasions over the years when my gambling has had a negative impact on work, they have been few and although some at work have been aware that I gambled, I honestly dont think any of them would think I had a problem with it, so I dont want the admiration/respect of any work colleagues to be tarnished by knowing about my 'dark side'. I'll say I work in the public sector and leave it at that.

Must be about 4 weeks gambling free for you now eh? Well done, keep it going. Hope to see you in chat again soon.

And also happy to correspond via our diaries now that we have started.

Best wishes

Captain 

Hey Tizzy

Thanks for the post last night, great to hear from you again. As I type its raining, which I love :-), and I got my gardening done  in lunchtimes during the week so it hasn't impacted that!

I get what you are saying totally about looking to divorce the bingo which doesn't cause you a problem versa the online which does. As you know I've had successful periods of time where I was able to gamble on sports only as a hobby without it causing a problem but in the long run over the years I've just not had the discipline to be able to wait for the sporting events and reverted back to 'random' as I've always described it - basically seeking a buzz and an escape by gambling on horses, dogs, virtual racing, which was a drug which in some ways helped me get through days and in another respect gave me so many sleepless nights, broken family, friendships and relationships, health issues and a shedload of debt. Do I still want to gamble on sport - absolutely - but 30 years of trying to be disciplined and failing has taught me I just cant do it.

I can never go along with those who hate all gambling establishments - Yes I get the too much advertising and they dont all operate fairly but for me, gambling can provide a great hobby *IF* the person can stick to gambling affordable amounts on things they have knowledge of or can keep control of.

So *IF* you can go to bingo and it doesn't have any financial or other impact and *IF* it doesn't trigger you to gamble online, then keep doing it. And on chat, I for one will support you (and anyone) who says they are only gambling on some things which they can control and not other things which they cant. But I'm unique that way as that was always my goal when things became problematic and compulsive. The best advice for most as you know is to stop everything. As you describe you have two different 'venues' in the mix - re your online venue - you know the advice will always be put all the blocks in place, covering your OH as well.

As you know my problems started long before online came along - my way of divorcing was to get in and out of a bookmakers as quickly as possible - in, place the sports bet and back out again - worked for some periods of time. The set up of the bookies was important  - if the counter was near the door that made it easier - just in to the counter and back out, not having to pass screens where current other 'activity' was taking place. When I did start online I tried something similar, asked bookmakers to ban me from all but sports but their setup didnt allow - sports and horse racing and virtual all come under their 'main events' so I could only exclude from roulette and games areas etc. which ironically I've never been interested in anyway!

Get back to me again soon and I'm happy to chat about general stuff and get to know each other better as people if you would like, doesn't all have to be gambling related 🙂

Best wishes 

Captain