It's now or never!... 13th May 2018

Day 107

Payday tomorrow. My 4th payday since ending the gambling rot.

I’ve been able to save a lot of money this month, whilst also buying clothes and going for a few nights out. Safe to say I’m in a much stronger position, financially, than I was 107 days ago. I can look at my bank statements from the past 3-4 months and not feel utterly ashamed. They look normal which is something I’ve not been used to.

I won’t lie, I do miss my weekend accumulators. I miss the camaraderie of having a small, joint bet with my cousin/friends. Those days I was able to laugh off a £3 losing coupon. I was never gutted if it lost and I never had the urge to chase my losses. But gradually, over the years, my mindset began to change. Suddenly I was betting for the money and not the enjoyment. I almost expected to win, rather than hope to. I took the losses, small or big, personally. There was no way I could be beaten. I’d have to get even. The rest, as you all know, is history.

So I do miss those days. But they’re gone now. Hopefully in time, those urges will be a thing of the past.

Thanks, Reminder 🙂

No, I won’t fall into that trap. I’ve learned many a lesson about that in the recent past. Not again.

Well done on passing 6 weeks mate!

Well done Dan, keep it going!

You're doing great Dan!

🙂

Dx

Day 111

Another weekend is upon us and once again I’m trying to keep out of the loop of all the football matches this weekend until the very last possible moment where I’ll be attending the match this afternoon to watch my local team.

Though the urges are now becoming less and less over time.

I feel very settled at the moment and at peace with my life. Sure, it feels a lot more ‘boring’ than what it was previously, but at least I’m not experiencing the emotions of stress, regret, sadness, anxiety and anger all on a daily basis.

I feel like I can look my friends and family in the eye and not feel ashamed of what I am currently doing. That in itself feels good.

Welcome back to the forum, Caughtup. It’s lovely to see you back and sounding so positive about life 🙂

Now then, where did you go on holiday? I’m going to guess that you went to America. Only for the use of the word ‘Awesome’ haha!

Congratulations on your continued success on the gamble free journey. You’re doing really well and it sounds like you’re getting your life back on track which is so pleasing to hear!

Dan x

Day 112

8km run in 47 minutes this morning. Nowhere near the sort of time I’m capable of but it’s still a decent workout for me.

Concentrating all my efforts into getting extra fit and trim. I used to be really proud of my body. Now I’m about a stone overweight.

Day 113

Back to work after a long Summer break. I must say I’m shattered! I could easily fall asleep on the sofa.

But going to go for another run tonight. Hopefully another 8km.

Day 116

Almost at the end of a testing week at work. I’ll be glad to see the back of it! Roll on the weekend.

Had a nice night out last night in Manchester. It’s important to have these nights out as they’re a reminder of what life should be about. Hard earned money should be spent on this kind of entertainment. Not gambling.

Feels good to be 116 days away from my last gambling episode. Although I maintain that it’s still early days in my recovery.

Dan

Well done Dan!

Great to log in this morning and see that you not only hit the magic 100 but are also going from strength to strength.

Keep up the top work and keep enjoying life as it should be enjoyed. Gamble free.

Day 119

Thanks for your post, ukds69. I’ve posted a reply on your diary.

Another Saturday survived. I find those the most difficult to negotiate as a lot of my friends and family like to have a bet on the Saturday afternoon football. So come 5pm, I can relax a little bit more.

At the moment I’m focusing a lot of time and energy on becoming a healthier person. I’ve always been into running and keeping fit, although in recent times I haven’t kept up with it quite as much as I would have liked. But I’ve also looked into other ways of becoming a healthier person....

I’ve decided to try and tackle my sleeping issues. I’ve never been a great sleeper at night. Even before I fell into the trap of gambling. I struggle to get to sleep at night and then struggle to stay asleep. Which lead to sleeping during the day etc...

So I’ve looked at ways to improve that. For example, I’ve told myself that I must put my phone away by 9pm on weeknights. I’m reading in bed before I go to sleep. Occasionaly, when I don’t feel like reading, I’ll open a bottle of ale and listen to the radio. I find that relaxes me.

I’ve been tracking and recording my sleep, using my FitBit watch and the quality of my sleep has improved quite considerably which I’m pleased about. I still don’t get as much ‘Deep Sleep’ as I’d like but generally, I am getting more sleep. So I feel better for it in the morning as I head into work.

Gradually, piece by piece, I want to improve the quality of my life. I know that it’s not going to be a quick, overnight fix. But it can be done.

Day 121 - 4 months gamble free

I never thought I’d get this far if I’m totally honest.

For all those starting out on their journies, it does get better in time!

Day 130

Still plodding along. No major urges. Just minor ones. Especially with the European football on this week. So I resorted to watching Friends on Comedy Central all night to avoid the endless amount of in-play betting adverts etc. Then I watched the highlights later.

Hey Dan

How you doing? I was one of the unfortunate ones who couldn't log in for what felt like an eternity in our world!

Hope all is well with you 🙂 x

Hi Caughtup, Donna. Long time no speak. Hope you’re both doing well.

Unfortunately I had a slip, which has resulted in me losing £400 in the last 16 days.

No excuses really. I got lured in with a free bet on a particularly low night after a really difficult week at work. But I should have been much stronger than I was and ridden it out rather than give in.

There’s no point crying over it now. What’s done is done. I have to bounce back from this.

Those 131 days that I managed to stay gamble free has enable to build up some savings and I now need to build on that again.

Tomorrow I shall reflect on what changes I will make to this recovery. It’s still been a good year, generally, and a marked improvement on previous years. But I must finish the year strongly now.

I did try to sign in a few times myself last week to confess all but I couldn’t log on which was frustrating.

I’m glad to see you both progressing well on your journies. I’ve missed you both, as well as others too.

Dan x