I had a slip, but didnt fall.

Hi Claire... my belief of what you did is that A. You have just shown yourself , and all of us here in this site, yes I do mean ALL of us, That the temptation and threat of relapse is always there.. Constantly and will NEVER go away for us...? B. You have and possess great courage in admitting to yourself and us that you ‘slipped’ a little.. C. One of the greatest ‘tools’ we use to stop our gambling is to remove one of the three main points of the addiction triangle; opportunity, means, time. Take any one of those away and we can control our gambling?? You took away the BIG means by locking your cards away, however you did leave yourself the time and the opportunity so by having ‘some’ means you slipped.. I believe if you had not taken this little bit of change you would be this mourning saying I did not gamble yesterday...? We all feel your pain in this long journey and I particularly am so relieved to hear you did not ‘dive’ into the pool of destruction but just dipped your toe.. I pray this warning to you can help you to understand what we live with and maybe next time the urge comes that you remove either the means (completely) the opportunity,(don’t go there) or the time (go home or somewhere else)? Blessings and thanks for being a part of mine and others recovery.

john Pops... 

Hi Claire,

I'm going to be honest with my opinion....

It sounds like you are making your decision acceptable by the fact that you left your cards locked away and stopped the slot action quickly. 

It seems concerning that you are justifying your actions and even believing that you have some control over your play. Even though a disaster hasn't happened (this time) I believe it's inevitable that it will if you carry on flirting with gambling believing that you have some control.

Do you know what you were feeling prior to going? 

My belief is that the key to not having desire is to be better connected to your feelings/emotions and having the skills to manage them.

My message is meant with care and concern and is not a lecture. 

Kind regards.

Well done for being honest and coming back here, but I do agree with what Wallis has said, as I was in the same situation a couple of years ago, I'd stayed gamble free for a long time then did almost exactly the same thing in the bingo hall aswell, left my card home only took a small amount of cash and from then it lead me into a false sense that I was in control, it was a very slippery slope back rock bottom. If we are gambling we are losing, small amounts may not feel to bad but they soon escalate. 

Wishing you all the best in your recovery x

Hi, 

No Wallis,I didnt read your reply as a lecture, ?

My feelings before going to bingo were that I had been busy at work and that all I wanted to do was sit down and relax, couldn't face the bike ride home. Bingo is across the road from where I work. X 

Slots are my issue, never the bingo, I never spend more than I can afford on bingo. 

I went across to speak to the staff today and explain that I need to stop playing on the slot machines as It had got out of control.  They have agreed to let me in and out of the staff entrance so I dont even have to walk past the slot machines if I go again.  I know I can get back to where I was before I went to bingo for 18 years never spending more that £20 a month and not once did I touch a slot machine. Just had ago after watching a friend play. I never feel the need to play them anywhere else,  When I think about it I dont even like playing them. If you look around at others playing no one looks happy. 

So for now I'm staying away from bingo. 

Thanks for your replies x 

Hi well done for walking away, although I have to agree with the others, bingo is gambling regardless of that not being what u had a problem with, my mother was an alcoholic but only drank whisky but that didn’t make her any less an alcoholic and when she finally quit the drink she had a saying “one is too many and twos not enough” point is everyone who has an addiction started somewhere it’s starts small and ends where we can’t control it, so why put yourself in that situation? If u couldn’t face the bike ride home u could of left your bike and spent that money on a cab or bus, am not trying to preach but it’s really easy for us all to slip, and I really think for us all who have a addiction being addicted to whatever we have to realise that regardless of how well we think we’re doing controlling ourselves we can’t do those things anymore if we want to stay in the right path not once not at all, when I quit bingo and slots I told myself I can never ever gamble at all ever again and I haven’t and I won’t because I know how much I loved it and I know at some point maybe not tomorrow or next week or next year I will be back at square one. X

Hi Claire

I hope you’re well and have a good day. It’s great you came back here and were honest. For each of us our journey through recovery is different and what works for some doesn’t work for everyone. I’m glad to read that you were sensible on your little trip and put things in place for damage control. Maybe you can make it work for you with the support you’ve mentioned from the staff at the club, I guess only time will tell. I wish I could of done this but as I know, it just lead me down a very slippery slope over time. I hope this won’t be the case for you. 

I hope you have a good day tomorrow and look forward to seeing an update from you. Take care for now.

Lonely

Hi Claire

how are you getting on? I hope you’re okay. 

Lonely

Hi lonely,

Ive been really busy at work so havent had much spare time to get on here. 

I had a set back financial today, a while ago I was at the bank using the machines that you can cancel direct debit as I had a few that I didnt need anymore, I must have pressed the wrong button as today I had a collector on my doorstep. I had cancelled my council tax, so today I got my wages and then had to pay them straight out. Now I've nothing left for the whole month. Which will then make me behind with other bills. So I'm feeling a bit crappy at the minute,

Hope your doing well x x 

Ahh sorry to hear that Claire. I know how you’re feeling as that as happened to me in the past with a debt where I’ve had to pay everything out and no money left. I also haven’t paid the council tax this month so will be expecting a letter or know in next week or two. Hoping it holds off until I next paid as I don’t have it at the moment. 

I know it’s tough but try not to let this tempt you into thinking maybe you could win something. I have found unexpected financial problems to be one of my biggest triggers and each Time have just made the situation ten times worse. 

I hope things start to get better and you are able to stay strong. 

Lonely

Hi lonely 

I will survive this, it's just hard.  I definitely will not be trying to win any money through gambling. Not that I have any. 

I'm so angry with myself, for the first time in years I had money left over before payday and it all goes on the day I get paid.  

Feeling low and sick atm .

Hope you are ok x 

Ahh I’m really sorry to hear that Claire but things will get better with a little bit of time. It’s really hard at times like these but you have the strength to get through until the end of the month and if we stay away from gambling, things will significantly improve for the both of us in the long term. I’ll be about on the forums most of the weekend so if you need someone to chat with just add my name in and I’ll get a notification via my email. 

Try not to let it get you too down which I know is difficult but beating yourself up won’t help your mental state x

Hi Claire 

Just popping by to see how you are doing? 

Lonely x