Good Morning SA,
Your current state of mind is a cause for concern however, experience of similar situations in your past sits favourably in your corner. This is not a new experience for you.
You work in an under-staffed, high stress job in which you provide a stellar service of care to those who cant care for themselves. This is the time when you need to care for yourself.
My tuppence worth:
- It is financially viable for you to phone in sick for one day to have a rest and re-set your mind and stress levels. You will lose one days pay but wont gamble away a months wage as a result.
- You know that your gambling is a tool to mask how you feel during these difficult times. Last week and the week before were difficult times and you didn't need to gamble to survive them. You’re still here to tell your story. Just because you’ll have funds to gamble doesn't mean you need or want to gamble.
I’m going to worry about you today. We don't know each other but I think I know the type of guy you are and you’re worth worrying about.
Take it as it comes. Get your job done then switch off and relax. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Of course your OK buddy - you’re a warrior of a man both in and out of turmoil. If I had to fall into the deepest hole or even walk through the flames of hell I’d be Ok as long as you were there too because I’d trust that you’d be able to find your way out. And if we were doomed and stuck down there for a while you’d no doubt take great care of me.
So...................chin up, onwards and upwards and sometime in the future we’ll get to where we want to be .
Good to hear from you and glad you are OK.
Ive become something of a weekend runner. One again, the winter nights have gotten to me.
If only I could get out everyday my mental well being would be off the chart. One dose of daily running does me a world of good.
Anyway, I hope work is Ok and not overly demanding for you. Have you got a break over the xmas period or will you be working through?
Am stressed again this morning. Am on the late shift, so its work related stress
Iv'e come to the conclusion that I don't work in an extra care facility, I work in an "everything project"... everything from a cup of tea and a chat, through to alcoholics, through to people with learning disabilities and mental health problems through to people whom are completely dependant for everything. So many demands... always been pulled in different directions.
.. and then of course you have got folk who kind of just fall through the gaps, have families whom couldn't give a d**n, whom are very isolated and have nothing. One fella whom has had a stroke is so desparate for a haircut that he now looks like the wolf man. He needs a mobile hairdressers but he doesn't or can't organise it himself and his family doesn't organise it and I am told that am not allowed to take him up to the onsite hairdressers that operates once a week because it would constitute "a call" and it hasn't been paid for... it frustrates me...
Iv'e said this before and I say it again... never move your elderly parents into extra care facilities, however pretty the building or settings might be, cos you never know what your gonna get...
Moan over... no gambling.
Well am having a clear and obvious urge to gamble this morning, am just tired and stressed and fed up. I thought I was gonna have a good shift but it turned s**t. What is it about the run up to christmas, everybody has falls and gets ill, goes into hospital and comes back 8 hours later supposedly because there is no clinical need to have them there, even though they can barely stand because of the gaping wound in there leg... and this is supposed to be independant living??... and what is it about little old ladies playing the dying duck routine and then low and behold a few minutes later they are fine ie after they have have got you to do something for them or have pandered to the "poor little old me" routine. I haven't got time for all this nonsense. thank f**k ive got a day off today.
Just for today i will not gamble. Am gonna do a list to keep myself busy and focussed cos the urge is strong... and my brain is f****d
1. Do my clothes washing and washing up
2. Actually put a bed sheet on my mattress
3. do some basic tidying up around my flat
3. Go for a run.... essential, cos am putting on weight with all the comfort eating ive been doing
4. Christmas presents to buy list (needs doing)
5. hot bath and relaxation (after run)
6. something nice to eat... involving some vegetables
thanks fort listening
7. Read through your diary. I spent about an hour reading your diary from the start last night. Still not close to the end. I was reading some very inspirational posts from you from a decade ago. I got to a point where you were something like 456 days off a bet. Incredible stuff. You’re on the road to that again.
Look, you’re aware of your thoughts, you’re aware they’re work/stress related and your doing the right thing - you’ve posted your feelings and you’ve planned a run and relaxing bath. Great ideas.
Keep going. Get through this - the most difficult part. Deal with today and feel good about yourself tomorrow.
P.S. Some impressive distances and times logged not so many years ago. Build a base, log the miles and get it back. You know the drill.
I feel for you buddy.
Just because this year hasnt been good doesnt mean next year can’t be fabulous. As long as you remain hopeful and have an open mind that it is possible for things to change then there is a goal to be had. Regardless, I think you’re fabulous.
How you gambling mate? Surely your excluded from these betting shops. I feel for you mate but like you said to me you will feel better in a few days. You must get all these betting shops excluded from. How far you travelling? To gamble. You can blame work stress and other things and I do the same but I gamble because I enjoy buzz win lose or draw. That’s why I’m banned from every betting shop in a 15 miles radius so when I get the urge I think I can’t be bothered to travel that far and it passes. You