Get my life back

Sunday in the Scotty home and soon be having dinner 

A welshman who is gamble free and certainly a winner

For he has loved ones by his side who know he is the best

So maybe go enjoy a walk then have a little rest.

Best Sunday Wishes

From Stephen ???

And us ducks ?quack?quack?quack

Hi Scotty, 

I just wanted to pop by and say a little hello and send you well wishes. I hope you and mrs scotty are both doing well and enjoying some quality time together.

You have done so well and have come so far. I really hope you get to have a lovely family Christmas with your wife and your daughters. 

I hope you get to enjoy all the cake and delights that Christmas time will bring but stay away from the bananas. ??. 

Hope you are well. 

Your friend 

Lively x

Hi scotty , 

hope your ok missed u in chat this morning , hope to catch you soon ?

Why do I feel like this one day I’m really good next three days down in dumps. I can’t see any point in going on nothing has changed 255 days GF and now I feel and I want to go back to it What the hell is wrong with me so angry today I punched a wall and Now hand all bruised but tomorrow I will be 256 days GF how can you be lonely when you’ve got people around you I can’t carry on like this can’t even go on chat because I’ve got nothing to say to anyone which would help anyone I think I am done I thought I was strong I hate my life 

Scotty well done on the gamble free days that's an amazing achievement

I'm sorry you feel so alone I also do..but we have this forum 

Theirs people that care about you scotty

Keep strong hopefully things will feel better soon

Louloux 

Hi scottydog,

What you posted this morning brought back lots of memories of my past. I tried so hard to rack the days of recovery up a day at a time hoping that my internal sadness would somehow deminish during that time. I was always stunned at how I could be in the company of others but yet feel this overwhelming empty loneliness that was crippling to endure. I would hold on as long as I could whilst clinging to my recovery days to try to keep the beast away.

It took me many years to get a relief from this way of existing because I had no alternative except to keep doing the same thing with the same outcome.

It was during my change to therapy that I realised that I had unknowingly developed a fracture between myself (me) and my perception of me with my negative core beliefs about myself. It was this void that made me feel so incomplete and alone. It's over many months of work (and continued work) in building a healthy loving relationship with myself that this void started to close and the feelings dissipated.

If you can relate to this and if you choose to take this approach and put in the footwork then you may find it beneficial to you

Kind regards

Hi Scotty,

Sorry you're feeling down, sometimes getting better & recovering is like that. I think it can be difficult filling the void gambling has left behind. To go 256 days without gambling tells me you're stronger than you think. I think most people, when they come here for the first time are desperate & broken ( myself included ). So here's a reason for you to come back on the chat & keep posting. Because your story is a beacon of hope worthy of being shared with those coming here for the first time & feeling unable to find a way out of this awful addiction. Be proud of your achievements & the progress you've made.

Best Wishes

AL

Absolutely right slowlearner. If you suffer with any mental health issues it's like having a big stick to beat yourself up with. Time to put the stick down scotty, you are a fab person and you're doing good

Thinking of you scotty , 

all my love ?

And I'm thinking of Vimto Vinnie thinking of you Scotty ???

Great to see you in the peeraid chatroom this morning Scotty.

The walking football sounds like a lot of fun. I might think of trying that.

Wishing you a great weekend 

Stephen 

???

Well today is a bit better still can’t get my head round that I have had a another stroke and still no answers  thank you all for words of encouragement I will stay GF as I have worked to hard to go back I told my wife that I was feeling like I need to gamble and she hit the nail on the head when she said it was this time last year when I hit it hard and it could be the thought of Christmas and not having any money to buy her a present not that she wanted me to any way she is my rock     
so why do I get the these thoughts which is why I hate myself  not being a man to give her a life that she had before not that it was anything Special before I got  ill I wish could just end it and make it go away sorry I am now crying god what must you all think of me  sorry 

The pressures of Christmas can be a trigger for most scotty , this time last year I spent all my money for months chasing Christmas presents , the Christmas presents never Come Alls I managed to do was empty my bank balance things got worse from that point on ... sorry to here you have had another stroke, but please stop beating yourself up your a good  man that deserves to be happy , you have a wonderful family around you and it’s not what’s under the tree that matters it’s about the people around it , if last year taught me anything it was to be kinder to myself and don’t beat myself up , 

hope to see you soon in chat , even  if I just see your name In Their you can say as much or as little as you like , all my love ?

Sorry to hear you had another stroke and I'm so sorry to hear your feeling like this scotty xxxx

Sorry I cant offer more support that could help but just wanted you to know we care xx

Good to see you in this mornings chatroom Scotty.

Health issues are a major concern for you at the moment but keep taking the tablets and enjoy your life as best you can.

Your performance in recovery has been exemplary and you have always been a great source of inspiration to me.

Take good care of yourself 

Stephen 

???

Hi diary just when I get my head together another kick in the teeth so back in lock down wife’s dad broke his hip he has done great made a great recovery Monday morning he went to get glass of water And fell in the kitchen he has now  broken his other i hip so back in hospital it took four hours for ambulance to come again and then spent another five hours in the back as there was no room in the hospital he is 82 and now today wife’s mum who is 82 was told by hospital that he now has COVID but to make matters worse there is no  mobile phone signal in the  hospital he is  is Hospital only just been opened 10 days ago nurses wonderful They’ve been married 60 years she just wants to hear his voice And we can visit is so frustrating we are positive and then am still gaAnd we can visit is so frustrating on  positive note I am still gamble free    
  Scotty ??