its all gone wrong within the last month......
im 26 and i started gambling 10 years ago at just 16. Back then i worked just around the corner from a bookmakers and started going in to watch friends generally betting on fruit machines and sometimes on horses. Fruit machines fascinated me so i started watching how to play them, getting advice and popping in the odd few quid. Within a few months i was putting in any spare money i had after work and at that age i had alot spare, the fruit machine addiction lasted 5 years up to when i was 21, it only stopped as i moved jobs away from easy reach of a bookies, when i went into a pub or somewhere similar id play on 1 but that was for only a few months, then i had weened myself away from fruities as they were not there in front of me.
The football and horse racing betting started when i was playing the fruities, it started off slow and minimal amounts but increased quickly.
So between the ages of 18 and about 24 i would go into bookies after seeing football fixtures and put on my bets, usually accumulators, sometimes scores and scorers or winners of competitions and cups, i loved having a few bets on the go, say who would win the premiership or who would finish top goalscorer, and as the bets progressed and the odds shortened feeling very proud of myself and my knowledge.
From the age of about 20 i had turned into an addict, betting most days and on anything, big brother, x factor, american football etc... these were not what i was putting the majority on but it shows what a problem i had.
Then came internet gambling, this is what has really ruined me, i came about ******* when i was about 24 and when i started online betting i never went into a bookies again. Betting on football generally but also on horse racing and all the other random things i bet on. Then came roulette, this is when things became really serious. I would lose hundreds of pounds in minutes and as all gamblers i would chase my losses, if i won i would chase more winnings only to lose it all. I would have spouts of losing a few hundred pounds and saying i would never play again only to get bored and log on to kill time and switch off from the world.
Sorry if this story is a little long-winded.
So the last month. I quit my job 30 days ago, i had almost saved enough for a deposit for a house so being immature at not liking the way my employers were treating me i quit knowing i could as i had financial stabilty so i did.
That night i went on the roulette and lost about 1,500, sick at myself i went to sleep. I woke up the next day and chased my losses, another 1,000 lost and i stoped. i went through christmas not on it until january and i fancied playing poker, not planning on chasing my losses or pumping in silly money just for fun. After 4 days playing i had lost some more, but as usual when i was up id want more and when i was down i wanted it back, it had turned into another form of gambling for me.
I then really wanted to chase my losses then about 4,000 in total so i started putting on 1,000 single bets on football matches with the hope to double it to 2,000, needless to say i lost 3 on the bounce raising my turmoil to 7,000.
Now i was in trouble as i didnt have alot of my own money left, i put one last bet on the african cup of nations on who would win it so that bet is still ongoing.
Then 2 nights ago i lost 2,000 more on poker and yesterday maxed out my credit card on poker so i now owe 8,000.
i started with 10,000 and now have -8,000.
i cried and had to confess all to my girlfriend. i went round her house and it was horrible, i had let down the most important person to me, the woman i love and who is always there for me. She deserves so much better than me, im prone to addictions and thats not what she deserves. Shes the most important person in the world and as much as my head says walk away from her as she doesnt deserve it, my heart cant do that as she keeps me strong and what would i have if i didnt have her. i love her more than can be imagined. I said to her i wanted to change and i do, i know i have a problem, so last night i gave her my bank cards and she changed the passwords on my online betting accounts, i would close them but there are ongoing bets so i dont want to possibly lose more money that could partly pay off my debt. If they dont win we will close them together, if they do we will withdraw the money and close them together, as long as i dont have access to money, my bank details or my accounts i cannot gamble, so im now going to sort my life out a day at a time and hopefully get it back on track.
Sorry that the story was so long
id appreciate all comments, suggestions and questions
Welcome to the Forum.
Well Done on taking the first steps to your recovery.
Actually, I applaude you.
1 - You have admitted you have an addiction and you seem to have the desire to stop
2 - You have been honest with your girlfriend( and she is still supporting you - give her a big hug)
3 - You have handed over your mony to your girlfriend.(which makes it easy for you but not so easy for her - again - give her a big hug)
4 - You have come here and opened up( your lady can get advise here too)
All the right things to do to stop gambling.
And your story wasn't long winded. I can identify with a lot of it and I'm sure many others on here will feel the same.
I knew I was compulsive, when it didn't matter if I won or lost, the chase and the thrill of gambling mattered.
Keep posting and
Just for Today I will not gamble
All the Best
i just hoped i could have done this and come to terms with my problem when i had money not now i owe money. online gambling needs to be banned as i hate my situation but there are alot worse out there, alot lot worse. my gf is amazing, i know if i gamble once i've let her down and i cant do that, if i do break tho i will tell her straightaway.
Yeah don't we all. No good living in the past, can't change that. But we can change now and the future.
I go to G.A. every Sunday and we have a prayer(and no - G.A. is not religious)
God, grant me the serenety to accept the things I cannot change...
Courage to change the things I can...
Wisdom to know the difference.
Very true that.
My last bet was 5th June 2007 and life has become a lot better. actually, at the moment I feel great.(That might change tomorrow) But today I'm greatful for feeling like that.
And tell your girlfriend before you break, much better than having to confess - ''again''
All the Best
I'm going home now. Am still at work. No internet at home. I'll look in again on Monday
Welcome to teh forum and welome to your new life xxx
DOn`t wory your post wasn`t long winded, I think its because gambling took so much from us there is a lot to say..Like you I gambled on so many thinks..Online, Bookies and Backgammon and like you I chased my a** of and when I did win it would in time all go back..
I think that seeing that I accepting that helps as there is no point to gambling for us as we know teh outcome..If we loose we would chase and if we won we would want more which woudl alaways take us back to lossing..
Its hard when you tell your partner, when I told Hubby it broke me in two, it takes time to build trust up again, but it does happen and you can both move forward with your lives together withouth the gambling demon trying to musscle in on you both..
Well done Justing, taking steps closing accounts and handing over your cards..It gives you the muche deserved time and space if needed with gambling thoughts..We deserve this and the easier we make it on ourselves the easier it will be..
I have a habit of puttign mysefl in stupid situations and testing myself, something that I need to be aware of xx
Take Care Justin
thanks charly and lucy.........
its day 3 now
i think the mornings are the worst, i wake up realising what i've done and its hard to come to terms with, always the thought of what if...what if i had quit when i was comfortable...i know theres no point living in the past but i cant help it.
The next 2 weeks are crucial, tomorrow ( monday) i should be finding out about a job i had gone for, i really really need it! i've already said that i would go crazy with overtime if i got it, and then crazy as it is my 1 remaining bet on the african cup, if it comes off could half my debt! i hate holding onto this and it keeps the gambling part of my brain active which i hate but it really is constantly racking my brains, i honestly dont have an urge to gamble, i do think i could go chase my losses but know id lose more for sure.
I've decided to keep busy with other things, i went for a jog last night which hopefully i can make myself do every other night to get a bit of fitness in me, also i've started writing a story/book and i'm sure you can all guess the subject.
Oh well another day then, footies on later so something to watch, i used to have to have a gamble on a match if it was on telly just to make it more interesting but for yesterdays football i didnt need to, nor will i for todays, ill just enjoy it for what it is, the beautiful game.
Hope you can all keep strong through this horrible time........
have been busy so havent jogged the last 2 nights but hopefully will go tonight if the weather is ok.
went to tesco last night and it was amazing how much food i got for £23!!
have phoned about another job, should be getting the application through the post for it soon. shifts are awful but need it!
phoned about job seekers allowance too, an extra £60 a week will definatly help.
Girlfriend has been amazing! shes my rock through this!
That was me 4 years ago.
If anyone bothers to read that story here's what has happened since.
I stopped posting on this forum and ended up gambling again. I can't remember how long for but it continued. I ended up £10k in debt and was never paying it off, just paid the interest.
Then came May 2008. My ex left me.
I recovered, I was heartbroken for a good 6 months/year. I found a job that I hated but I continued to gamble staying at 10k debt. Probably for a good 2 years.
Only this time last year I really kicked into gear. Found a new better paid, better suited job and I put in a plan and stuck to it in paying off my debt. 12 months later and I now owe about 5k so not too bad halving it, hoping to clear it all by August at the latest.
I am still gambling, I just lost £400, yes very stupid I know but its money left over from after paying off debt for the month/food etc, my money. I'm always going to gamble, I just crash like tonight every 6 months or so and then I realise. That may go one day but the main thing is I'm much better off and happier than I was back then and I'm on the right track.
Good luck all wannabe quitters, it's hard and you may break but however bad it may seem it does get better. I was once living off a glass of Orange Squash and 2 slices of toast a day 🙂
Now seven years have passed and I'm fully recovered. I can't believe how terrible I was at writing back then.
I am planning on posting a long update on the 'success stories' thread, when I get time.
The jist being...
2008 - £8,000 debt, no job.
2012 - Secure job, paying off debt, gambling occasionally.
2015 - Own a house in the UK (renting), live in Malta, working in igaming (content marketing/football writing), very occassionally gamble very small amounts, very comfortable financially.
Once upon a time I had no house, no car, no job, less than no money and was surviving on two slices of toast and a glass of orange a day. How times change.