Chris - thanks for your comments, always grateful for any insight.
Football has always been such a big part of my life. Granted, the love of watching it has lessened as it became more about the betting than the actual game. Honestly, it just feels quite refreshing being able to watch the games without them causing any urges or acting as a trigger. Obviously if this changes at any point then I will stop.
Agreed with your comments about the diary entries, it is something I intend to continue with indefinitely - just want it to continue being a help for myself, and I don’t want to get to the point it feels like a nause or I am writing as a tick box exercise.
19 days GF today.
A little bit disappointed with myself today - had a few lads talking about betting over a brew in the office. I didn’t feel the need to get out of the situation, because it didn’t make me particularly uncomfortable and I didn't find it triggering - however, I got involved in the conversation talking about the upcoming matches etc. It’s one thing being passive while others talk about this subject, but to actively get involved is something I shouldn’t have done - glad it happened though as I’ve learnt from it and will refrain from doing it in future.
On a separate note, devastated about my morning takeaway coffee no longer being an option here in Scotland as of Saturday! Needs must though, but will make the most of it tomorrow morning.
LT
Yesterday was 22 days GF.
Saturday was a bit of a tough one mentally - just one of those lockdown days! Motivation and enthusiasm were low, but just need to get through those days as they are rare.
Very grateful to have another weekend being present with my family - not being distracted and no temper tantrums caused by betting.
Had a few dreams lately they I’ve gambled big on a football game and woke up feeling gutted - quite a nice reminder of how bad that feeling is without it actually being a reality!
Have a great week all.
LT
27 days GF today.
Not posting as regularly, but making sure I check in as it has been this period in the past where complacency has kicked in and I’ve done something silly.
Was feeling very positive at start of lockdown, lots of time with wife and the little lad. However, 3 weeks since NY and it feels about 3 months! I imagine like everyone else, I get a random down day for no reason at all - then I feel weak and guilty because I realise how many people are in a much worse position as a result of the lockdown and just having to crack on and make the best of it.
Lots of headspace during this time may not always be the best thing - overthinking galore.
Betting-wise I am feeling very strong. Very minor urges may come and go, but never feeling like those urges will turn to action. Very aware that it is easy to say this when the bookies are closed etc. But I am confident I have turned a corner with all that and when they do re-open they won’t be getting any of my business.
Good luck and keep safe all.
LT
31 days gamble free.
Mental how much difference a month can make. Placed my last bet on Boxing Day and lost big - couldn’t bear the thought of stopping and not trying to claw back my losses, but it had just escalated so far beyond my control and that could not continue.
The morning after Boxing Day, I felt so horrified and ashamed - all I wanted to do was fast forward a month, hoping things would be better and I would feel mentally stronger and in control having not gambled. Not been easy by any stretch and I’m fully aware things could have happened differently, but they didn’t and I’m really pleased about that.
Sometimes find myself missing the excitement that comes with gambling - my brain forgets how selfish, desperate and deluded I had become. When that is the case, I really try and take a bit of time to put myself in my shoes around Christmas time and that keeps me on the right path.
Hope all your weeks are going well.
LT
Hi,
Just remember that the only way of winning at gambling is to walk away from it, entirely for life.
Xoi
Stay sane, safe, calm and take one day at a time
Yesterday marked 34 days gamble-free.
Been so much football on lately which has been good for the odd evening to sit down and have a watch.
However, feeling a bit strange today - one of those days where it feels like it could be a struggle to fill the day! Going to get out with the wife and lad a bit later, but first time in a while where I’ve had a proper urge. Nothing too potent and I’ve no doubt whatsoever I’ll continue another day gamble-free, but shows how important it is to keep busy on these slow days!
Have a good weekend all.
Good morning LT
Congratulations on your 34 days gamble free, it's great to hear how well you've been doing and you're so right in identifying the importance of keeping busy on those slow days.
As many of those in recovery will report, it's not unusual to suddenly find yourself having a proper urge after a period of time when you've been doing really well. Some people find that talking to someone about this can be of a real benefit as it offers a chance to reflect on how well you've been doing and explore where that sudden feeling has come from. So please do know that we are always on hand 24/7 on 0808 8020 133 if you feel you'd like the opportunity for a chat with someone who recognises both how well you're doing, but also understands the recovery journey you are on.
Best wishes and have a great day out with the wife
ChrisK
Forum Admin
38 days gamble free.
Same as everyone I imagine, some days dragging by and others not so bad. Trying to cling on to the positive mindset I had at the start of lockdown, but it’s tough when you’re in Groundhog Day!
No urges following on from the minor temptations over the weekend, and strangely enough not finding myself watching much football either. Maybe there are just too many matches that I’m losing track - absolutely non-stop at the moment!
Anyway, ploughing on and looking forward to the next milestone of 50 days.
Today will be 42 days gamble free.
Had a few days over the past week without work and just me with the little lad - going through a bit of a difficult phase, of which I know there is much more to come! Patience wearing a bit thin, but always remind myself how much worse my mood and patience would be if I was betting and inevitably losing.
Boredom is the main enemy I think at the moment, but that’s up to me to try and combat and keep busy!
Hope you’re all having a good, gamble free weekend??
Today will mark 49 days gamble free.
Not having that pull whenever the football is on, which I’m grateful for particularly when it’s on so much at the moment.
Also over the past week or so I’ve found myself not checking the stats after each game, which is something I did a lot of after I stopped betting. It felt like it was a tool to see what I would have bet on and hopefully that would motivate me to continue being gamble free - but I think no longer having that need to check is another step forward for me.
Enjoy your weekend all??
57 days gamble free today.
Need to update my diary more often, this is not something I want to go by the wayside.
Sometimes wonder if it is necessary to keep updating when I’m feeling so strong against the pull of gambling, but I think that is the point of acknowledging that pull and continuing to battle against it.
In the past with long periods of no gambling, I’ve fallen victim to thinking it is no longer a problem - definitely not going to be the case this time.
End of a period away from work and little lad going back in to nursery tomorrow - hoping he gels back in there no problems!
Have a good week all.
2 months and 2 days since my last bet.
Spending time and energy so differently than I was over 2 months ago. Me, my wife and little lad are moving with work which we are really excited about - closer to family and friends.
The decision I made and continue to make being gamble-free makes conversations about owning our own home, things to look forward to etc so much more realistic and guilt-free!
Hope you are all doing well??
Well done on reaching more than 2 months sounds like you on track to a more positive future with your family
Lou x
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