Enivitably, back again.

You were just letting off what everyone feels at times, when you see so many dead ends time and time again. The maze has you locked in like a prison sentance and the whats the point mind kicks in who is the gambling minds sidekick, telling you that you cant, and you will not, keep listening and you give in, gambling, drinking, drugs whatever because you wanna change yourself, be like them, they seem happy. You have to answer to you and no one else and when the negative comes in you have to know how to play the game, it will never go away, as will the gambling mind, always there, the trick is knowing how to play them instead of them playing you, its hard but very doable. Keep your mind focused on where your going, you will get there. Hope that makes some sort of sense.

Thanks Smashed. Alot of sense there. Not giving in to temptation, staying in control etc. Yes it's all mind games, a constant battle. But in theory, our resolve gets stronger and stronger the more we say NO. And as we stand firm, we gain an inner confidence.

I'll admit that I always wanted an easy life and hence when it came to paying off debt I wasn't truly committed to doing so. And here lies the problem. In order to move on with a pure heart we need to 'take ownership of the debt and the cause'. The worse thing to do is to take out a consolidation loan because, psychologically, it let's us off the hook. And then gives us the green light to do it all again!

My personal circumstances of paying off debt are probably not sustainable in the long term, however gambling will only make things worse!

Many thanks for posting on my diary Martin.

It is good that you are back amongst us. I have always found your posts informative, illuminating and inspirational.

I believe that life should be embraced and enjoyed. We might make mistakes and occasionally fall down but as long as we keep getting back up, than we are still in the game of life and free to live it as we choose.

Gambling is an attempt to escape but why try to escape from the adventure which is our life.

I hope that you find what you are looking for and wish you happy days ...Stephen

My mindset is different. I feel good. It seems like I have turned a corner.
The thing is: even though I had abstained from gambling for 2 years. It was still in my system. Reading back through my posts, the evidence was clear - I had not actually distanced myself from gambling, it was still lurking in the background (as a backup plan). In other words I still believed that there was a chance of making good money. I was waiting for an excuse to gamble.

But now I feel enlightened. Something has changed. I'm not kidding myself. I know that the odds of winning are miniscule. I do not feel drawn to it!

But it's more than that. Anyone can say that they're giving up!
(for the chance of a better future).

I feel that I have finally succumbed to the point of surrender. Yes I have admitted that gambling cannot be the answer to my problems. It will never be a success story.

So looking forward. The ultimate challenge - if I'm never getting a helping hand from gambling, then it's really up to me...

As I mentioned in Stephen's diary recently, WE ARE THE MASTER OF OUR OWN DESTINY. And this simply rolled off the tongue, but it's now in my head and it's something I love to reaffirm!

The problem with giving up gambling is - it's all in the head!

"We'll, I only gamble from time to time - no big deal"!

Or

"It's just ВЈ10/£20 - it'll not break the bank".

Or

"Eventually I've got to win - I'll keep on playing the odds".

Or

I just play the lottery and scratch cards - it's not really gambling.

I have realised now that any form of gambling is detrimental to our well-being...
Think about it...how do you feel when you lose?.. even if it's just a £2 lottery ticket. You feel bad.
You feel like a loser. Your mood suffers. You may feel depressed..

It's like... All or nothing. We can't just gamble from time to time (and pretend that we're a non gambler.

It's like....
A vegetarian who only eats fish and chicken sometimes...

Or

The guy or girl who shares an intimate kiss with a work colleague, but had never actually had an affair.

Currently, I really am going with the flow. I have invested heavily with a business project which may or may not pay dividends.
But I am going for it! .. I am now at the time of my life when urgency and realisation are paramount.
Onwards and upwards.

Having not gambled for several weeks now, I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. A breath of fresh air.
I have no thoughts or urges for placing a bet. I am done with it. Never going back.

We make our lives better by being better!
Luck doesn't exist... only chance is truly a factor. Whether in betting terms or with the journey of life. Chance is the deciding factor, and the result of our actions.

As 'Smashed' has pointed out - things can turn around quickly with the right attitude.
Actually I have a 2nd interview for a new job (one that I would enjoy and may be a game changer. Also I have been given feedback on a PPI claim which looks promising.
So hopefully things will be improving.

My song suggestion for today is: 'Cruel to be kind' - which is quite relevant for C.G's who might need to be told some painful truths. I have read posts on my diary which initially angered me but on realization found them far more helpful as they prompted a real and defined response.

Yo, good morning. Hope things go well with your second interview and your PPI . Put in a claim myself but still early days and not holding my breath or buying an apartment in the south of France as I don’t think it will be fruitful . Anyways lots of positive things happening which must lift your spirts , long may it continue..... Shiny:-)

I always had this phrase "You always lose" and in the midst of a huge winning streak, I knew within a day it would be lost.. Yet for some reason I didn't care.. "you always lose" I would say, even as I won and ready to go again.. I knew it would be gone.. Despite this insight, I lapsed many times.

This is no more for me. I'm too experienced, talk scarred, too hurt and have too much more valuable things to lose.

Say to yourself and believe it - It's done! And then maybe we have a chance. Good luck.

Your on the right path, every day we learn, we make good choices we make bad choices, and learning from both paths affects all future movements, controlling a gambling mind is very difficult indeed as its only path leads down the self distruction path win or lose as it wants you in the game, you playing the game with the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, we can see it on screen, weve heard the story of the 30p spin that made Mr Smith - London holding the massive cheque, champagne in hand, and we want a piece of that, if I had that I will do this and I can do that, but we dont even appreciate that just by being alive and being blessed with children that weve already won, how we make our next move thats our call. A simple sentance my daughter said to me in December " Dad if you hate your job so much, just put your CV online" to the beginning of March starting a new job, if she never said that and I never acted on it I would still be moaning about my job and if this and if that, were going to look at a house on Monday to rent and are planning a future out of London, and the moral of the story is just acting on a sentance a thought process can change the path and direction of your whole life, your blessed your passionate about your idea and when I see you on Dragons Den or you go on your own path I will smile and say "Thats my man Martin, he got there" with a big smile on my face, just like the end of Shawshank.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAQcFPJ1Fc0

Thanks for your helpful responses Shiny, JuneBug and Smashed.

I agree with June about having a phase to use in our minds as a powerful fighting tool (against the urges to gamble). My saying used to be "You can't beat the odds".
Then more recently - "I am the Master of my own destiny", "Not even one small bet" and "There's always another way".
...."Deep breath, hold, release"...

June's phase - "You always lose" is very powerful as it conjures up images of disaster, disappointment and a re-accuring gambling nightmare.

Also some very wise words from Smashed - 'Every day we make good and bad choices, effecting every aspect of our lives'.

Let's all keep on aspiring to a better life through careful thought process, hard work and belief. The 'Dragons Den' moment of opportunity. And I must watch that Shawshank movie again soon!

Well no gambling to report and I can honestly say that I feel no urges or intention. I estimate that I have saved about £150 by NOT gambling for the past few weeks. Not a fortune, but not to be sneezed at.

I am feeling fine. As free as a bird. My massive debts are quietly lingering in the background, but I will not allow them to influence my mood. Worrying does not achieve anything! Instead I am focusing on a new me... A world of possibilities. A year of significant change and amazing results.

changemylife wrote: Well no gambling to report and I can honestly say that I feel no urges or intention. I estimate that I have saved about £150 by NOT gambling for the past few weeks. Not a fortune, but not to be sneezed at.

I am feeling fine. As free as a bird. My massive debts are quietly lingering in the background, but I will not allow them to influence my mood. Worrying does not achieve anything! Instead I am focusing on a new me... A world of possibilities. A year of significant change and amazing results.

£150 saved is fabulous. Keep up with that good mood.
Goodnight.
(Raymond needs you)..
Bella xx

We all have our ups and downs. The way we are feeling effects everything. Everything we think, say and do...

That's why mental health is vital. Not just feeling well, but thinking we'll.

Our mood can be affected by various factors: Pressure, relationships, diet, medication, alcohol, sleep deprivation etc. I personally believe that our quality and amount of sleep is most important. When someone is physically and mentally tired they may suffer anxiety, irritability, moodiness, dispondancy, loss of clarity and lack of self-control.
As apposed to someone who has slept well; bringing a feeling of rejuvenation, positivity, energy, wellness and calm.
...................................................
I slept well last night - a decent nine hours, helped along with the use of herbal sleeping tablets.

I approach the day with a positive disposition. I consider my tasks ahead ( it's my rest day from work). Thoughts of gambling don't have a chance!

I venture out to the park with the dog on a lead, desperate for some exercise and fresh air. I am feeling happy and content, wrapped up against the cold wind.

Standing in the middle of the park I look around me. I pause...
- A moment of clarity... This world of wonder shining brightly, away from the hussle and bustle.

I hear the excited cries of activity from a school playground some way off to the right. Our dog ( a Jack Russell/ Whippet) chases and catches a tennis ball, catapulted from a slinger on her 3rd attempt.

The sun penetrates gently in a hazy sky amongst puffy formations of cloud. A jackdaw or magpie can be heard squawking in the distance. The bright green carpet of grass shows off its new growth. A dozen starlings suddenly escape from the hedgerow - a flurry of movement; a flapping of wings. Nature in progress. Peaceful inspiration.

The shrill tone of a teacher's whistle blown in the playground reminds me of the sense of order and purpose.

Many of our life's meaningful and delightful experiences are free.

Sleep well...Feel good... Stay in control.

I was given £35 in cash yesterday in payment of something, and just for a millisecond my brain switched to gambling mode suggesting to use the money as gambling tokens...

Without any real thought on my part, it happened automatically. A bit worrying really even though I immediately dispelled the notion. Had I have dwelled upon the thought of this gambling opportunity for too long, it may have taken hold. But I know that I will always have to be on my guard and strong with my resolution.

Hi Change, thanks for posting on my diary..sorry for late reply. I do try to check in everyday but work has been in overdrive this week. I'm with you on the relationship with money, because I spent so long getting by on near to nothing I still have trouble with having money in my account so still often withdraw it (have only ever gambled online). But without any doubt life is a million times better minus gambling. Referring thoughts I was given some advice that thoughts, any thoughts come and go it's whether you act on them or tell them to jog on! Happy Sunday and rake care S x

Thanks Sharon. Yes, our relationship with money will probably always be the same, regardless of our level of control, our careful spending and abstinence from gambling.

Never gambled online but I get what you're saying that you feel uneasy about seeing a usable account balance before you.