Really really struggling with my gambling Atm, it’s really affecting my life now I just feel constantly unhappy, 30 years old just moved into first house and baby on the way, yet I can’t seem to fully give up gambling. My girlfriend doesn’t know I have a problem and am too embarrassed to tell her because I feel incredibly weak for not being strong enough to quit. In the past I’ve amounted over 5k debt on two occasions but always managed to eventually get myself out of trouble ,but as soon as am out of it I start building it up again. Been back gambling for a couple of months after giving up for nearly 200 days, got myself into only £400 worth of debt but feel at my lowest and most ashamed, I know that isn’t a massive debt compared to my past but I feel completely sucked in and craving a bet all the time. Find myself lying to my girlfriend and also taking extended lunch breaks in work just to gamble and making excuses up when I have been questioned about it. Am sitting here at the end of day 1 of my latest attempt and just feel like it’s impossible, I desperately want to quit because gambling for me there is no good outcome, If I win I gamble it all back and then some, if I lose I just keep on going and going.
Firstly congratulations on the 200 days you stopped, that really is a huge achievement, I’m on 28 days myself and I really hope I can achieve what you did. I’m in a very similar position to you financially the first time around, the debt is horrible but I’m slowly getting there paying it off. The positive you can take is you stopped at £400 mate, I understand that’s a lot but you learnt from last time and made yourself stop, good luck on your journey, hopefully better than 200 days this time. That money is gone now, you won’t ever get it back so there is no point chasing it, just put in a plan to repay it, i see payday now as one week closer to being debt free and to me that feels great mate. All the best
Sorry to hear you are struggling but glad to hear that you want to stop. As you say there are no possible positive outcomes for you as any winnings will eventually be lost again and living a lie with your girlfriend is no way to start off in life together especially with a baby on the way.
It is going to be hard but there are things that can make it easier.
Physical blocks like Gamstop or SENSE depending on the type of gambling help a lot, especially early on even if they just cause a delay to your gambling which might allow you to think again before gambling.
Talking to your girlfriend about it and letting her take control of the finances would also help but I know from experience how difficult admitting something like this is. If you can't open up entirely then maybe say you just need some extra help with willpower as you are trying to stop gambling before the baby arrives to save money?
Finally many of us have found it useful to talk to someone either through counselling or GA. I went the counselling route but others swear by GA. You can get free counselling through this website.
Whatever you decide to do, it is going to be extremely hard to crack this using willpower only.
Take care and keep posting
Thanks for your feedback guys, my girlfriend knows I have a bet, but obviously doesn’t know how much and how often, am not afraid to tell her I have a really bad problem, am afraid of hurting here especially when she’s pregnant. I’ve just got home for the night and completed my 2nd day, been having really bad temptations today, especially when I walk past the bookies when am in and out of work. I know from previous longer attempts to give up what’s coming, which I think makes it worse, am dreading all the nightmares, dreams of betting, waking up in floods of sweat. I am really going to try and focus and be stronger and try and give up for good. It’s mad when your in the moment of gambling, money doesn’t feel real, like it had no value. Despite the consequences you continue to just bet and bet until your pockets banks etc are empty
Thank you for posting and I see that you have already had some good advice from our forum members.
Please don’t feel that you are back at square one after your lapse. You’ve achieved so much in the past it’s just now about building on that. Also try not to be too hard on yourself, I can hear how frustrated you are, but you’re here now and taking steps to recover from gambling which is such a positive step to take.
I wonder have you spoken to one of our Advisers? They would be able to talk you through all of the options available to you to help with your recovery and would be able to help at times when you have those strong urges that you mention.
Please call us on our helpline, or use our netline. We’re here to offer help and support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Our helpline number is 0808 8020 133.
I am sorry you lost internet connection while speaking to an adviser. This must have been frustrating for you.
You might find it easier to use our helpline on 0808 8020 133. Alternatively please feel free to come back through to the Livechat anytime. We have advisers available 24/7.
Take care and keep posting,
Just woke up on day 4 of no gambling after a horrible day of overthinking yesterday and some very annoying dreams about gambling. On a positive note I have now put steps in place to avoid the temptation and this time I am confident with the correct mindset I can beat this horrible habit once and for all. One thing I have noticed over many failed attempts to quit is us gambling addicts tend to feel incredibly sorry for ourselves when we have a relapse or lose alot of money, which isn’t healthy whatsoever. So starting from today I am going to try and be as positive as possible and get out of the house and stop moping around feeling sorry for myself
Am in pretty much the same boat as you mate but 32 with 2 daughters .. got £400 in debt but into my 9th day today and as you know the fog starts to lift a bit I’m more present and less distracted. Gambling makes me lazy and mope around feeling generally low sounds like it does the same for you. For me the penny dropped 2 weeks ago .. a got 4/4 on a lucky 15 .. £1600. Paid off everything I owed (£700) doesn’t take a rocket scientist to work out what happened to the rest. Even when we win we lose it’s pointless. One of me best mates who has not had a bet in all of 2020 sums gambling up like this and it works.. ‘nothing good ever came of it’. Everytime u get tempted just think of that coz he’s right it’s true
Congratulations on the 9 days, it’s a good start. I suffer with really bad Headaches during the early stages of quitting but I know from previous attempts they don’t last forever so that’s what am focusing on. Such a true statement that, nothing good ever does come of it, from a personal point , I could literally win 10k and I’d still be greedy, eventually id lose it all and then some. Full credit to all the people who manage to achieve quitting for good, an achievement I have now fully set my slights on.
It’s the morning of day 5 no gambling for me, feeling good today and very positive, ready to attack the week And continue my journey of quitting. Am finding being on this website is really helping, listening to other people’s stories and how they achieved success in breaking the rotten habit that is gambling. I’ve come to realise, that to quit gambling you have to 100% want to quit, be ready to quit and invest your heart and soul into tackling the problem. I’ve seen so many posts on here from people trying to quit, and by what they are saying you can just tell they are really not ready to quit, it’s just a knee j**k reaction after a big loss. Us addictive gamblers have an unhealthy way of feeling incredibly sorry for ourselves , as if the world is against us, and it’s not, we are just weak and when we realise this which I firmly believe I have now, when we snap out of that self pity we will find it a lot easier to quit.
I would also like to recommend listening to positive podcasts on you tube
Coming to the end of day 6 without gambling, My thoughts have took me to a uncomfortable place this evening, but after riding it out , going out on a long run and thinking about the positive Things in my life I have overcome any urges tonight. Despite the temptations and urges, I feel I am in a better head space this time round to actually quit for good. One day at a time but am feeling more confident after I’ve kicked each urge into touch
Good man Craig, you sound like you've got a good attitude there for the fight ahead, and it will be a fight because it's not an easy journey. I'm a year into my own recovery and I couldn't agree with you more on the point you make about "you have to be 100% committed to quitting". Stopping is easy, but not starting again is the hard part. I found podcasts and a positive mindset helpful and also keeping yourself busy. The more time on your hands, the more likely your mind is going to wander to places that you don't want to explore. One of the best pieces of advice that I received when I was just starting out was to "stay in the middle of the bed", meaning don't overcomplicate things. Don't give yourself brain damage by allowing yourself to fall into your specific "triggers". For example I would have been a big gambler on the horses. When I stopped gambling I was still watching racing. I watched the entire Cheltenham festival and I was "picking out winners" all over the place and cursing myself for not being able to back then. Contrast that with now and I couldn't tell you what racing was on last week or will be on this week either. I've just detached from it. I just decided to stop watching it and therefore I won't be tempted by a bet on it. Now maybe in time when my resolve is stronger I'll be able to enjoy racing without betting, but for now I'm happy to sit it out and it's working for me. I wish you all the best of luck man, you're doing great, keep it up.
Day 8 of no gambling, the dreams and the urges are coming more often and a lot harder, continuing to ride it out because I know it won’t last forever. On a plus side English premier league is due to finish on Sunday so less football on the tele will no doubt see a end to a lot of the urges in my early stages of recovery, still keeping positive because I know I will beat it this time once and for all.
Day 10, feeling really good and strong. Looking forward to the day ahead, usually my Saturdays would involve watching sport all day and betting on anything and everything live on the tv, instead I have plans to actually get out of the house, get some exercise and go on a nice walk up a mountain, Completely focused and glad to see my urges are getting less and less, the first 2 weeks are always the toughest, then I find it gets a lot easier.