Goodmorning... So if today goes according to plan.. Bit will be 25 days gf. But to get there I have to.
Attend physio for sciatic pain
Chemist for flu Injection
Hopeful for 1pm. Chat.
Attend 2 hour work related workshop. The bonus being its free buffet lunch.
Hopeful for 8pm. Chat
Doc martin on tele.
I feel OK at the time of writing this and still on plan with budget.. Reading some thread makes me realise again the misery of it all. The feelings of being skint.. Working to gamble.. Locked away silences and secrets.. In my mind we all come through with the help of gam care.. A few bumps in the road maybe for some.. Bit of turbulence along the way.. But blue skies await.
My book came yesterdayone of the moderators recommended.. Its called run for your life.. Author William pullen. Self help and insight. I will give it my review end of the week...... Enjoy the day all
Hello. Thanks for reading and yes I will let you know book review.. Been very busy today.. Went to workshop conference. Asked to borrow a pen only to be offered a pen with a well known casino outlet logo on.. Was then given two freebie workshop pens.. Said other pen handed back.. My mind is my master now not gambling. 😊
Enter day 27 of my diary.. I keep reading the diaries of others and they both inspire me and make me feel sad.. The desperation of sadness fear and loss is self evident in all our lives..
Personally am halfway through to payday and have not used money to gamble so on track but feeling a slight restless urge.. Which I will not yield to because by the time I have done what is planned today there basically won't be the time allowed to go anywhere to gamble. My vice being daytime casino slots.. Anytime 10am to 2ish.. Filled those empty hours... What a fool I've been.
Personality wise since day one felt happier. Being honest have had a couple little outbursts with friends.. Nothing major and I suppose that's life.
I don't want to go back to that life. That existence. That mindset. And aim to 30th November when I go to Christmas Market with daughter with my own cash..
Today is planned as have the last 26..
Meet friends. Either run or walk.. Coffee after
Home for tea and night in
Feels like I am running my life to military time.table but as I said the other day my mind is my master now not gambling..
Hope today is good for all 🙂
Entering into day 28 gf.. One calendar month.. I lunar month.. Four weeks..
However. Last night read a diary.. Not so much about recovery as a ladt Dream win and how it would be achieved.. A big similarity to how I thought pre coming here
Suppose it opened a wound.. It didn't get me wanting to gamble felt like I was back at day 1. Felt despondent and alone..
Perhaps I'm tired.. Certainly feel a little fragile but I know I am too busy today to have time to go to any casino as will be the next 3 days repeated.
So to start the day.. Going transfer some money and plan
Starting with a lovely big brew.. Cuddle with the dog and brekkie..
There feeling better already
Today I choose mot to gamble.. Have a pleasant Saturday all
I'm not going to late read diaries tonight ad it sends my mind into overthinking.. And delays snooze.. Chat was chatty and helpful today.. I am getting more confident at joining in.. I chose not to gamble today.. I didn't.. I chose to be happy today.. I am... Sending many many thank yous to you all here for your support.