Degenerate XIV

Yes you have to do things differently now.None of us will fully be free of this, it's a massive effort to stop and say no more, sticking to it is even harder.

Good luck

@hollycrosser @tatualo

Thanks for your posts. I agree I should try and do some things new. Going to try and read a bit of my latest book on gambling addiction every week. 

Day 10

A couple of thoughts of gambling when near bookmakers but not tempted. I did think of having to start yet another diary and it helped stop me. Early days but going well.

Day 18

Forgot my Direct Debits were scheduled for yesterday and didn't have the money needed to meet all payments. Missed a Rent payment as a result. Even though I had the money needed in other accounts I couldn't make a quick payment to cover my Rent due to all the blocks I have on my accounts and due to cutting my cards.

Why cant I keep my money in one account like a normal person?

Today, I left my wallet/phone in the house before leaving for work and for a while I was convinced it was lost which meant I wouldn't have had money for petrol so I couldn't get to work and I would likely need to wait a few days for a new card and phone. 

I need to be better organised so I can handle these inconveniences. 

Day 20

After moving some money about as a result of my money problems this month I now have a bit too much cash in my one account I have quick access to. Lots of thoughts of what I could do with the money. I need to think of a nice boring financial plan that I can pay consistently every single month.

Not had first pay from new job yet. I guess once that starts I can start thinking about consistent repayment plans. I will be strong and not be tempted to gamble tomorrow.

Day 22

Lazy day today. Noticed the Arc de Triomphe was on whilst channel surfing. I managed to find something else to watch as I knew exactly what horse I would have backed and I would have been tempted to put money on. Checked results a few hours later to find it won at a big price. Sigh. I had the same temptation last year and it lost.

I shouldn't think of the money I might have won I should think of the money I would be guaranteed to lose if I continued gambling. All of my money.

Oh, deggers,

I think that's gonna keep those gambler juices flowing - checking out if you "would have" won. Fine when you wouldn't have, not so great on the rare occasion it would have paid. If you're anything like me, you'd have seen those winnings as "extra" gambling money, anyway, and lost them quickly, anyway.

@freda Yes, I agree. All my winnings is just extra gambling money which I will eventually lose. Thanks for your comment. See you in Chat.

Day 28

Nearly a month. I am bit surprised by that as it feels like I have not gambled for a long long time. I never used to count a month of no gambling as it only counts when you have managed to get past a few paydays. Anyway, although I have not had a payday for a while I have one soon I will need to stay strong and not get complacent. I have not reached a month for too long.

This gamble free spell has only just began.

[19000]

Day 31

Managed to last a month. A small improvement. 

I have come quite close to making a few expensive purchases I cannot afford and do not really need. Looking at cars, laptops, phone or watch. Unsure if I even want them or just need an excuse to gamble.

My first payday in a while is tomorrow I will need to be strong. Most of the money is earmarked for certain bills and upcoming expenses. No excess money for treats. A bit worried I will be tempted to use credit card this month. 

Hi degenerate.

Feel free to contact us for a chat on the helpline or netline if you want extra support tomorrow. You are doing really well. Thank you for continuing to share on this forum.

Best wishes

Forum Admin 

Thanks Forum Admin.

I am alright, feeling confident about getting through the next few days gamble free.

Day 32

Paid today. Getting some money has me thinking of my debts too much. Constantly rethinking what bills to pay first while at the same time thinking about getting more debts with stupid unnecessary purchases.

Been good. No purchases so far and paid a little towards debts. Still got some money leftover that I don't know what to do with.

Day 35

I have now paid all this months bills, put some money towards debts and towards some future bills. I have plenty money to get me through till next payday and a little excess money and that little excess money is burning a hole in my pocket. Been considering many unnecessary purchases and looking at a few things I cannot afford right now. I know I am only looking at these things to give me an excuse to gamble.

After gym, and after going shopping and buying nothing, I went to the cinema to combat boredom. I had a few films I fancied seeing but nothing was showing for another 2 hours. I told myself, sod this its a sign I should gamble but managed to stop myself by the time I got back in the car. 

Got home and managed a little sleep thanks to the latest boring Brexit debates showing on TV. Now I am awake and I am very tempted to watch some televised racing. 

Yesterday, I was tempted to gamble online and I thought I might not be signed up to Gamstop because it has never recognised my email address. After contacting Gamstop support I found out I just hadn't enabled my online account which has now been done and I wont be gambling online for another 4.5 years!

Anyway, I cant gamble online and theres only an hour left of TV racing so I should run out of time to gamble soon. I am too ashamed to stay and gamble in my local bookmakers due to past relapses. I should be good.

Day 36

I tried to put my remaining money towards a credit card debt and the transaction was not approved. I got an error message stating I made too many transactions or something. Sigh.

Feeling a little worried due to past few days gambling thoughts. I will create a Monzo pot with my money that can only be withdrawn from on the next working day. 

Short term goal: Stay gamble free till next payday and I should be down to one debt. A big debt though.

Day 41

Yoyoing thoughts about gambling and not gambling this week. I felt it was inevitable I would have a bet at one point. I managed to stop and take note of some good progress towards being debt free. I wrote out some goals and some rough payment plans. Things are looking really good as I have been a bit strict on myself. Need to keep it going till around Christmas.

well done degen mate, I'm going thru a particularly tough period and taking it hour by hour at mo to stay free, I'm drawing inspiration from your success and looking to continue with u