Support us

Day 34 - My First Post  

 
Ben_2020
(@ben_2020)

I haven’t gambled in 34 days and I feel good about that. I haven’t felt the urge to bet or play online slots since I made the commitment to stop, which also feels good and makes me hopeful my goal of never gambling again is achieveable.

I have signed up to the forum and read lots of other people’s stories and actually at first it felt quite demoralising, quite a lot of people have described their struggles and desperately difficult situations and it made me feel sad. 

But I want a better future so I will try everything I can to change my behaviour and relationship with money. I found it really hard to write this first post, I don’t know what to say. I know how much I have hurt and betrayed my family’s trust and my goal is to build that back one day.

I have had several calls with GamChange and they have been really helpful, I have set up blocks on all the sites with GamStop which is a big help in removing any temptation.

 

Quote
Posted : 9th September 2020 11:29 pm
Bladesman
(@bladesman)

Hi, well done on 34 days, sounds like you are very determined and have all the blockers in place. What amazed me when I first came on her 3 months ago was how many people were going through the same struggles and it made me feel not alone. it was like joining a big club where everyone was helping each other trying to achieve the same aim, to make our lives better.

Well done and stay strong

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10th September 2020 10:24 am
Ben_2020
(@ben_2020)

Thanks @bladesman yes I feel very focused on clear goals which is good but I am also well aware of the support I am getting from my family which i am so grateful for. I appreciate I am only a month into my journey too so not experienced much and been able tackle several things so far.

You are right knowing that everyone else that is going through something similar is also very supportive and I am keen to learn from others advice and experience.

You said you joined 3 months ago, how are you getting on and if you don’t mind me asking what are you finding has worked well for you?

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10th September 2020 12:03 pm
MythDunk
(@mythdunk)

I think you are saying all the right things and I think you are doing all the right things so congratulations on reaching 34 days. It is something to feel proud about. I don't know if you are in full time employment with a monthly wage but if you are then you're also reaching that stage where you will start to notice a healthier aspect to your bank balance as well.

Just stay on it though and don't let your guard down as your brain might yet try to trick you into a period of complacency. If you are prepared for that then you can deal with it if it happens. well done.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10th September 2020 12:06 pm
Mickpa
(@mickpa)

I hope that its now 35 days mate....one slip and its all for nothing. Keep with it and don't go back to being an unhappy mug.  More money, more time and happier - why on earth do we gamble??

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10th September 2020 5:10 pm
Ben_2020
(@ben_2020)

Thanks for your support mythdunk, I am in full-time employment and have already got financial help and a repayment plan in place with the help of my family. I am getting them to help control my monthly budget so majority of my earnings is paying the household/bills, then paying the debts and then working with the small amount that’s left and to spend it responsibly. So far that is working and it has not been difficult and actually confuses me as to why I have been recklessly spending/gambling for so long without looking for help.

I know it is progress but I find it very hard to feel pride or that I have achieved anything yet - I still feel guilty about getting into this situation and not dealing with it sooner. I also feel horrible that I jeopardised the relationships in my life that are so important for something that brings me nothing positive.

I have booked onto the CBT course so looking to start module 1 this week. 🙂

ReplyQuote
Posted : 11th September 2020 12:21 pm
Ben_2020
(@ben_2020)

Hi Mickpa, yes happy to say day 35 now achieved and here’s to the next one.

i happy a strong mentality and a very positive attitude in general so hoping that those combined with hard work and commitment (and a bit of a stubborn streak) will help me move forward and focus on making my relationships a success.

how are you getting on with your progress?

ReplyQuote
Posted : 11th September 2020 12:25 pm
Ben_2020
(@ben_2020)

It’s been 40 days now since I committed to giving up gambling  and I am happy to say I have been urge free with no temptations too.

I completed my first module of the online CBT course this week and that was good to think about and write down my life goals and rationalise how gambling has only made these harder, and if I don’t stop could destroy them so my focus feels strong.

My summary was posted at the end of the module on that forum and someone replied the next day saying my situation sounded exactly like theirs and it felt good that my story might help someone else start their recovery journey too. 

I still don’t feel pride around the work I have done - more relief that it feels like it’s all working well but it’s early days and I’m trying not to be hard on myself, just keep being positive and thinking about the future.

I am buying my wife a gift at the end of each week as a way to spend my money that I haven’t wasted on gambling in a positive way on someone else that I care about and it can be a really small thing or a bigger thing but the gesture has been something I was told to do by the GamCare helpline when I first called over a month ago. It makes me feel good too, I feel like I am not being selfish and I recommend you try it. Tell them why you are doing it too because it is a positive effort that is intended to make you and the other person feel good, it is also a chance to be honest and repeat a positive behaviour.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 15th September 2020 9:34 pm
Share this page
Share
  
Working

Please Login or Register