So I have had many day 1's. Sadly tomorrow will be another day 1. I am trying to understand what it is that is so uttterly addicitve. When I have a samll win - I never expect to spend it - just end up playing more and then when I loose a little I'm so desperate to recoup loss that I up my stakes to crazy amounts. I am in danger of loosing alot if this tie I cant stop for good. I was 160 days wihout a bet until Oct 31st - payday - when I got a fe quid more than I expected in my pay cheque - and that was that - that few quid turned into about £1500 loss in November. I can't believe what an idiot I am. Well I can as I've been here too many times before. So 4 years and 8 months of gambling stops now. No excuses. Good luck to everyone. I am angry that I am in this situation. Never never never again.
So today is Day 1. Feeling mix of emotions. I have emailed the site where I lost yesterday and have now been excluded. I need to remember that I did find it easier not to gamble as the days passed. One day at a time x
Hi Annie
Sorry to hear about the relapse but remember you have stopped for 160 days before so you can control this. Can you put any additional blocks in place so you can't access any new sites?
Don't beat yourself up too much, focus your anger/upset on making sure you don't give them another penny.
Muststop123
Thanks muststop. My plan is to withdraw cash on payday as I never bet with cash, only ever online. I do feel a strong resolve again though. So this time I want to make it to Dec 1 2018 and I find reading the success stories very helpful. Good luck to you too. Xx
Hi Annie, just keep posting, keep focused, you don't want this gambling life for yourself anymore like the rest of us. Stay strong, you've lots of support and thousands of others who understand and appreciate what you are going through. There is no rational explanation why we do this to ourselves, we're just addicted.
I wish you a peaceful and quiet week and don't think too much, you've a fresh start ahead of you and every day that we resist those urges we win.
Wilsy x
Thanks Wilsy. So lovely to read your post. Came on here rather than the dreaded sites (from which I am now self excluded) so today is a good day. Day 4. Resolve has wavered but I have not given in.
I wil keep posting. xx
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