Back from the Brink

Day 118

Overtime at work looks like it might be offered for another 6-12 months, which will cover 10-25% of the CC debt. That, added to some back dated pay, a bonus and a bond expiry should knock another 25% off. I’ve had chance after chance over the years to sort this debt out, and yet again, another opportunity presents itself. 18 months / 500days to finally put this to bed for good.

Dear @michael35 ,

It sounds like you have a plan in place to pay off your debts which is a really positive move. Well done on 118 days, that is a great achievement.

I would just recommend that you make sure to have some leisure time for yourself as well.  It is an important part of the recovery process to create a new lifestyle, find new ways of having fun and to recharge.  Working long hours and not having enough rest can be problematic in terms of your recovery.

Keep up the good work, keep posting and sharing.

All the best

Forum Admin

Day 123

Funny how the GF days seem to mount up quicker the further you get into recovery. Anyway, only 3 weeks until holidays - 2 weeks in the sun coming up !

Day 123

A real chance to get out of this financial mess has once again presented itself. I’ve had one or two of these over the years, which I’ve always wasted. This time could be last chance, absolutely cannot waste it. 12 months is doable, 18 months realistic - unlike the last time, I have no access to gambling, and with 123 days GF already under my belt, no desire whatsoever to waste it.

I have the chance to earn a significant amount of extra cash, which looks like being the case for probably 6-12 months but although very conscious that this can be stopped on the (unreasonable) whim of a manager. 

As each month passes, I’ll get closer to the goal, and I breath a little easier. Month 1 is “in the bag” and I should get through Month 2 ok. 

Big BIG chance. Can’t waste it.

Day 125

Dont f****** believe this. 2 days after saying “very conscious that this could be stopped on the (unreasonable) whim of a manager”,  for the first time in many years, it’s been stopped on the “(unreasonable) whim of a manager”. Why oh why does this always seem to happen to me. Whether it’s a major promotion I miss out on by a whisker before the door permanently closes, or a redundancy offer I only just miss out on before the offers permanently stop, or the lucrative job offer I’m almost over the line with before the goal posts are significantly changed, and plenty more examples. People around me have had their promotions, taken their redundancies or taken their lucrative job offers. But me, I always seem to fall short by the thinnest of thin margins - and not through lack of trying. Opportunities that don’t often come up once or twice in life. This latest opportunity was supposed to significantly shift a debt that has been hanging over my head for 10years, with all of the anxiety and stress that it causes. So another rug has been well and truly been pulled from under my feet. The word to describe the level of anger I currently feel hasn’t been invented yet.

Day 125

To angry to sleep, this latest news will probably add another 4 or 5 years to repaying everything off. As if I haven’t been through enough, it’s more painful to see light at the end of the tunnel and get it snatched away before you can take one or two steps, and know there’s very little you can do about it than not even being presented with that chance in the first place.

Day 128

Calmed down since Friday. Took a step back and looked at the bigger picture, and things aren’t so bad after all - they never are as long as I remain GF.

Mate 

Loved the last few posts you put up man ???

You're definitely in recovery my man... And a good one at that ??

Keep doing what you're doing.

Day 129

Hi Signalman - thanks for the comments, having read back my last few posts, so typical of my situation, in some weird, oh-I-really-no-longer-give-a-s**t way, sound rather funny.

Here’s the latest one ... the “luxury” holiday we’re planning to take in a few weeks time now appears to be in a potential war zone (as reported by today’s news) ... so might have to give it a miss now. Oh well.

Anyway, never a dull moment. Can’t wait for what tomorrow brings. Oh yes, still gamble-free though.

Day 131

Note to self : 

You constantly moan about how x,y and z didn’t work out for you, and how unlucky you are and how it’s all put a big spanner in the works and so on, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah ... oh woe is me.

The fact that you’re still here to write this, with wife and kids still with you is enough. So quit moaning.

Huge, HUGE life lesson... you know what I mean.

thank you

Day 136

Not the merest smidgen of a hint of a thought whatsoever of gambling. I’d rank it at about the billionth thing on my mind at the moment. 

Day 138

Thanks for comment Smartie. I’ve had a huge reality check of late - don’t want to comment on the specifics however nothing directly impacting me or my family, but puts perspective around my own struggles. My situation is recoverable, the lost time, lost money, lost self-esteem I can claw back - even just a tiny bit every day. I realise I’m fortunate to have the opportunity to do so.

Day 144

Almost a week since my last post. Had a flyer through the post from one of the gambling companies I’d excluded from. Tried to log on to check and confirmed that indeed, my account was locked. Although begs the question why they did send it and what would have happened if my account was not locked ?

Anyway, the only one I’ve received in 4 months and hopefully the last.

Well done on 144 days Michael. Steady progress being made. 

Temptations are all over the place so it's good to read you have blocks in place.

Keep making that right choice, life will keep improving and you will continue to reap the rewards you so deserve.

Stay strong, day at a time

S&B xx

Day 148

So with the excitement of the new football season has come my first gambling thoughts for a long time. My thoughts have turned to the Matched Betting side of things which eventually led to my slide back into online casino gambling which led to thousands lost. I know those thoughts will pass over in the coming days and the barriers I already have in place will stop me from falling back in.