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33M compulsive gambler  

 
sweeper
(@sweeper)

Hi everyone, I've come back here after a long absence. I first realised things were bad in 2016. The girl I was with was involved in the betting industry and I frequently found myself at horse racing meetings and in social circles where a big subject was betting. She didn't know how bad I got and I spent a lot of time on my own, laying stupid bets. I eventually spoke to her but she didn't understand and we have since broken up. We sold our house and I used the money I had to repay the 3 loans id taken out due to gambling. Debt free I felt good and for a while I kind of had a grip on gambling. Over the last 12 months I've got progressively worse. I put things in place but then have the ability to ruin it very quickly, especially when I've had a drink. I've now got another loan and a nice big credit card bill. Its stupid. I have no idea how much money I've lost over the years. I expect it is huge though. So today I came back here, locked my online accounts, kind of loosely spoke to my Mrs (not in detail, we're not officially together, another story!) and I'm going to see if I can kick it this time. Hope to find like minded people who can help me and hopefully I can help others too. Its going to be one hell of a ride. 

Quote
Posted : 19th October 2020 6:47 pm
sanpablo
(@sanpablo)

Hi Sweeper.

Well done for coming back here. The fact you’re here and put some measures in place shows you want to change and manage the compulsive gambler in you. Out of interest how long have you been gambling and has it only been the last few years where it has got out of control?

You’ll find lots of empathy, support, warmth and experience sharing here so my advice mould be to embrace it.

I’m sure you have plenty of other positive things going on in your life so focus on them.

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Posted : 19th October 2020 8:08 pm
sweeper
(@sweeper)

Hi Sanpablo,

Thank you for your response, its good to interact with people on here. 

When I lose, I think I've always had a problem with stopping to be honest. Funnily enough, many times when I won I could walk away. The reason the last few years have stood out is the stakes have got higher and more relentless. The final straw being Sunday when I bet around 5k. 

I'm starting day 3 gamble free today and I've been lucky to have the support I've had over the last 2 days. Gambling is not the only thing I need to address but I do think it is the catalyst to my other downfalls sometimes with drink, work, moods and obviously finances. 

Hope you have a good day.

What is your story so far?

All the best. Sweeper. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 21st October 2020 10:32 am
sweeper
(@sweeper)

Just a quick update, I took the step to look at my bank accounts last night. Sadly this latest flurry of bets has added up to just under 10k. It was hard viewing but something I knew I had to do. 5k of this was done on Sunday, the rest over the previous 2/3 weeks. I am disgusted with myself but we all know that feeling.

I've now created a spreadsheet with all of my bills listed, when they need to be paid. Fortunately the bulk is in a loan and the monthly repayments are something I can maintain albeit it doesn't give me much change. 

Other than that, I've loosely spoken more to my support network. All website are blocked. 

The journey continues. 

Hope everyone is doing OK. 

This post was modified 1 month ago by sweeper
ReplyQuote
Posted : 21st October 2020 10:42 am
Sassaman
(@sassaman)

Morning Sweeper

I can identify with your last post. The big losses for me were gut wrenching. I lost 15k over a 3 week period in September. Saved up 5k, blew it, then took out 2 x 5k loans. Naturally, blew that. I too am paying back 2 x 5k loans, so I'm in the same boat when you say "not much change" after that. This came too after a review of finances. Not had a bet in over 3 weeks, small steps, but progress nonetheless. Like yourself, I'm determined to chuck it for good from hereonin. I just have to accept that 15k is gone for good. Any notion of winning and the returns that go with it would never be enough for me. I'll keep my eye out for your posts and I wish you all the best in this journey. As a poster said it's hard, hard work, to quit this, but I'm under no illusions. All the best.

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Posted : 23rd October 2020 10:54 am
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