I have had a very up and down year emotionally, financially, work and gambling. This time last year I was on a three month abstention, then a period of gambling, time wasting, work stress and being constantly emotionally drained. This has continued off and on as gambling continues to be off and on. Financially I am much better off, a number of things have allowed some debt to be paid off, although could have paid more if not for spurts of gambling.
however I am afraid that I need to put an end to it all as I can see the slippery road getting steeper, if it wasn’t for online blocks and casino blocks I think I would have done some serious cash. This frightens me.
however today I have got my Allen Carr book out today to give that another go, as this is the mind set I had for my longest abstention.
page 1 chapt 1 - goodnight
matt692
Dear @matt692
Thank you for posting on our forum, please continue to keep doing so. We welcome your posts and we hope you will find the support from our forum community beneficial to you and your journey of overcoming problem gambling.
It's great to hear that you was gamble free for three months, well done on such a fantastic achievement. I hear that things aren't easy at the moment and that you're not where you want to be, please remember that the relapse does not take away all the hard work that you put in to achieving your gamble free period.
It's great to hear that you have self exclusions in place and I hope you find your new book helpful too. Did you know there are bank accounts such as Monzo that blocks gambling transactions and can also offer a limit on your daily withdrawal amount too?
Although I suggested Monzo, please be aware there are now different banks that offer a similar account so please look for the one you feel would suit you best if you think this option would help.
Well done on clearing some of your debt, this is another great achievement. If you need any further help or support with debt or any other financial matters, please contact the Citizens Advice, Payplan, Stepchange or the National Debt line.
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/
https://www.nationaldebtline.org/
You know you can do this again, we believe in you and we're here to support you every step of the way.
If you would like to talk further, please contact our helpline on 0808 8020 133 or access our Netline via our GamCare website. We're open every day of the year, day and night so we're always able to speak to you.
Please take care and be kind to yourself, the situation you find yourself in now does not define you or your future, you can overcome problem gambling. Let us help you change your relationship with gambling, you're not alone in this.
Kindest Regards
Joanne
Forum Admin
Day 1
my reading of Allan Carr has given me two instructions - follow the instructions and keep n open mind. The book is telling me that gambling is a no win bad thing! Can’t disagree, so I am still following the instructions.
i haven’t felt like gambling today, and I feel a bit calmer, but still stressed, confused. But better as I did a full day work!
small steps
matt692
Today I read a further chapter no new instructions however clarity in mind as to the addiction and feeding the beast!
today on travels and sitting working while waiting for train - previously in bookies “passing time” and wasting money and feeding the beast, feeling good - will treat myself to some nice food instead of binge comfort eating after wasting cash!
matt692
I’ve been up for hours listening to the election Night - amazing results, whatever your views! Today concentrate on work feeling tired now, but another day with no thoughts of gambling. Need to read the next chapter later to keep my clear mind at the forethought of my head
matt692
Body clock gone wonky! Any how reading some posts and going to read next chapter in Allan Carr! Windy outside and cold but good tucked up in bed. Calm and looking forward to a Xmas lunch!
matt692
Funny day today - not feeling great this am but got on and did a bit of work, then went out for a few hours! I went to a local town, past would have been “bookies” then comfort shopping and eating, did my shopping then a walk, got some shirts for me (would never have done that) which is good.
no real thoughts today, and ready for next chapter of Allan carr
matt692
Evening Matt,
well done for getting through a tough day. They make us stronger. I hope you are happy with your new shirts, you deserve them ?
A week ago tonight I spent hour after hour playing slots and wasting time and money with no end game / no point / can only lose / can’t win.
in a week I have nearly 150 pages of Allan Carr book and it so clear - a week ago my head was “fix after fix after fix” now it is pointless, can’t win, it’s the cause of feeling c**P/ waste of time etc.
another chapter to read! Roll on this week! Stay safe with Xmas monies and enjoy the Xmas gamble free!
matt692
Tonight 1 week since wasting life! I was out for a curry with a group of ex colleagues who I didn’t really want to go! Enjoyed the evening for what it was, last time we did a similar thing I spent before on bookies and after at casino! The bit in middle irrelevant. It was good to catch up with them!
another bridge started to build!
matt692
i read 2 chapters now explains the addiction and why you think you enjoy something that kills life!
early night now
Hi all been very busy at work and a week that has totally flown by and we have succeeded in delivery! No real gambling thoughts which is great, I don’t think I would have delivered if I was at it! Ready for a glass or four of red
I will read a chapter tonight / tomorrow keep my mind clear
matt692
Today the infamous Christmas shopping day! History is a quick rush round but what comes up first! Then an afternoon in bookies - history tells that Xmas money gone and borrowing for full Xmas period required!
today I have ready two more chapters and have had two more instructions one being “resist a temporary fix” this to me is the killer - time / money and a pang to gamble. This as the book says is a temp fix - not pleasure! Today will be pleasure of buying gifts from “hard earned cash” and then a meal and ?- this will me “resist a temporary fix”
have a good day
matt692
Tired yesterday, had a duvet day! I have needed one for a while. Today feeling a little sharper and hopefully will get some work done today and then clear for Xmas
matt692
I have just read the new members forum, it is something I like to do from time to time, I looked last week and there was the odd new member, today there is a full page of new posts, life’s families ruined / being ruined at Xmas. Been there got the empty feeling!
one post showed what can be achieved with a plan and determination
matt692
Xmas eve, supposed to be the greatest time of year for friends and family - as an ex gambler I hope it will be a better one this year.
however it is a time when the reality of the pain and friends you’ve lost through gambling, kids not at home, being alone because it’s easier to hide away!
The other is the normal life and slowly I am hoping to try and get back there!
to all out there stay gf stay safe and enjoy it for what it is 1 day! (And rubbish tele)!
matt692
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