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The one show and a gambling story.  

 
Chris.UK
(@chris-uk)

I feel that The one show wasted a huge opportunity tonight. Amol Rajan, one of the presenters described the film/story afterwards as one of the most moving films he's ever seen on that program. I'll just give my view.

Of course anyone struggling with an addiction, but gambling in this case as that's mine too, is a terrible thing to watch and so many times people just don't know about it until the dirty secret reveals itself.

Peter and his wife actually spoke about this in January on other shows and media and said the same thing. It was his wife who changed the language used around him and the fact he realised that he might lose her triggered something inside that made him change. I think he actually said he had a weakness and finally he managed to conquer that weakness.

Also the fact that his wife had no where to turn to. What a chance to highlight Gam-anon or Gamcare partners help.

Is it a moving bit of tv or story television because he's a beloved public figure? What's moving about having a weakness and no longer having a weakness? What's moving about nearly losing his wife but not losing her?

What actually did gambling take from him other than money? That's the story I want to hear, that's what should be at the heart of the story, not that he basically cocked up but now he's okay.

No mention of what it's like to have no money week to week. No mention of partners and friends giving up on you because gambling is more important. No mention of ever losing a job because of your actions in order to gamble. No mention of having to come clean to a loved one  about what you've been doing. No mention of the things that you did to have a bet and the people you hurt. No mention of not going into work because you're gambling in a casino until 6am and too tired to work. No mention of not seeing your kids because they're better off not being with you. No mention of committing illegal acts to get money yo gamble with. No mention of the suicidal thought that come from not knowing how you're going to ever escape from the hell of compulsive gambling. No mention of hitting a rock bottom and getting help and where that help is available from, I.E, GA, Gamcare, counselling, help forums, clinics, treatment centres, all places that the show should tell those that are struggling about. No, he just decided not to do it. 

That's what should be said, there's plenty of people with lived experience who have gone through this and come out the other side with a story to tell but also to offer hope to others struggling. The story should be with hard work and determination you can overcome this illness and keep it at bay, remembering that it's always there. 

That's why I said it was a wasted opportunity. 

Chris.

Quote
Posted : 6th July 2020 7:48 pm
Kevthekev40
(@kevthekev40)

I agree Chris 

I thought at the end of the video they would've spoke about what it does to normal people, what it's like not to eat, what its like to have suicidal thoughts or worse, whe it breaks families apart. When I heard it was on I was telling everyone as they could watch and see how I feel. Not one word after the video. I think the gambling industry is to big to battle they seem to glide over s**t!

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Posted : 6th July 2020 8:12 pm
Charlieboy
(@charlieboy)

Also it was underwhelming. For a few weeks he couldn't sleep and was a bit irritable. Bet it was more than that after 45 years of addiction. There needed to be more about the harmful consequences to mental health. It might sound dramatic but there was not enough" destruction" to life in it . 

 

 

 

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Posted : 6th July 2020 8:38 pm
Jadiebby85
(@jadiebby85)

@chris-uk I haven’t watched the one show but I will try and find it so I see it for myself! You’ve hit the nail on the head with what you’ve said! I completely agree with you have you thought about emailing the one show? I would, you never know they might get back to you! If they did you could go and tell them exactly what you just wrote and would touch peoples hearts or wake them up and realise that help is out there! I think that is the worst part of the addiction! Feeling so alone, so afraid of losing those close to you because you’ve done such terrible things to make sure you could go and put that bet on, over and over again! Daily even! Lies and panic and lies and panic that’s pretty much how I existed until I felt like I was going to either @@@@ myself or explode and completely lose it! (I’ve got 2 teens, 1 of whom has ADHD & struggles with daily life and the other, my beautiful daughter who was being picked on so bad,...and I was saying to her on 1 side- please promise you won’t ever hurt yourself again because you can ALWAYS talk to me! There is nothing you could do or say that would ever stop me loving you..... That’s how messed up your reality gets! That’s before your partner has threatened to walk out but then not walked out!) I find that a complete waste of an opportunity to actually have someone sitting and watching to think ‘maybe I could get some help from X or Y or Z, I don’t have to be alone or lie about this’ 

This post was modified 1 month ago by Jadiebby85
This post was modified 1 month ago by Forum admin
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Posted : 7th July 2020 10:07 am
Chris.UK
(@chris-uk)

@jadiebby85

You can probably find it on the bbc i-player, it's the first article on the show.

Sorry you have been through it too. 

Chris.

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Posted : 7th July 2020 10:13 am
Jadiebby85
(@jadiebby85)

@chris-uk I’ll have a look, although by the sounds of it.... probably a waste of time when I have lived it, am living it! I hope your in recovery from this addiction and wish you all the success in beating it! And living a happy, gamble free life! 

 I’m sorry for every single person who is going through it however it may be happening, it is an awful existence but like the saying goes “what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” I’m trying and fingers crossed, I’m succeeding at beating this monster! I know there are many, many more who simply give up or don’t know where to turn or are in an abusive relationship and cannot get support even if they wanted to! The scenarios are endless with this and because it’s such a lucrative, money making business that, ‘normal people’s’ misery does not matter AT ALL! The people who let this carry on are the same people who turn their noses up at sweaty Prince Andrew and what he was up to  or the Rochester scandal! Or all the other wrongs that are being done every single day all over the world! All greedy and seedy horrible people (if they can be called people)   Who thrive And feed off the misery of ‘normal human beings’ 

Oh please don’t get me started!! Lol I could rant about it all forever!!!! 😆 

This post was modified 1 month ago by Forum admin
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Posted : 7th July 2020 10:32 am
Joydivider
(@joydivider)

I haven't seen it so can't comment on that particular piece.

What I will say is that I don't find  that many of the anti gambling or gambling awareness videos are disturbing enough or go deep enough to really get the message over in a way that I would like.

Some are just too light in that they seem to fear depressing people too much so they keep it flowing in an infotainment style. Almost as if  the entertainment value was paramount rather than the serious message.

I will be honest in that Ive seen some films where I couldnt work up much empathy. That is because of the angle and shallow focus of the item. Its almost as if they chose gambling stereotypes that they feel people want to see... I dont want to sound harsh but you know what Im getting at....more likely to wind non gamblers up about greed than get to the root of the issue as a highly addictive, drug addiction and mental illness

Ok some films are better than others but I would want to see scenes about the bitter arguments, manipulation, lies relapses, evictions fraud and so on

I will give them some scenes about food shopping for a week with £1.67 Fishing a piece of old bacon out of the bin, lying in the fetal position for days with no electricity on...walking home for miles feeling so alone..... so desperately alone with it all

I want a darker, in depth look at the problem on television so I would want scenes filmed with enough length and shock value to wake people up about deregulated gambling on a massive scale

Best wishes

 

This post was modified 1 month ago by Joydivider
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Posted : 7th July 2020 12:08 pm
Charlieboy
(@charlieboy)

Agreed joydivider you've hit it on the head. The government find " fat shaming" easy enough but isn't it true that obesity causes the country massive financial problems, whereas gambling brings money in?. All about " balancing the books" there are adverts about obesity ,early death cancer heart disease etc etc. Cannot imagine an advert saying " addictive gambling affects mental health , could lose you your family friends house......and suicides amongst things(hope it's ok to use that word). I would be surprised if I ever saw that happened but like yourself I hope that one day it will come into the mainstream

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Posted : 7th July 2020 12:39 pm
Chris.UK
(@chris-uk)

@joydivider

I agree, especially on programs that are meant to highlight the dangers of compulsive gambling but also the help available. Show the public what it really feels like to live as a compulsive gambler  but I fear that the general public wouldn't believe that we would do the things we did or lived how we did. I can't believe I lived and did certain things and came out the other side and I was there!!

Chris.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 7th July 2020 12:44 pm
S.A
 S.A
(@s-687)

Well I can only echo what has already been said. I didn't see the programme in question and I tend not to watch these programmes about rich people whom gamble it all away, because although they may gamble huge amounts I bet they don't go hungry or feel the loneliness and despair of walking for miles cos you don't even have enuff money to get the bus.... or if they did, it happened once when they were at rock bottom and not repeated over a period of years or decades, which is more typical i think

I'd say that most seriously addicted gamblers suffer in complete silence, perhaps for a whole life tariff. The thing is these programmes need ratings so they focus on particular stereotypes and of course they need a happy ending and for many addicted gamblers there is no happy ending. Its a bleak addiction aften without a happy ending.

This post was modified 1 month ago by S.A
ReplyQuote
Posted : 7th July 2020 1:07 pm
Jadiebby85
(@jadiebby85)
Posted by: Joydivider

I haven't seen it so can't comment on that particular piece.

What I will say is that I don't find  that many of the anti gambling or gambling awareness videos are disturbing enough or go deep enough to really get the message over in a way that I would like.

Some are just too light in that they seem to fear depressing people too much so they keep it flowing in an infotainment style. Almost as if  the entertainment value was paramount rather than the serious message.

I will be honest in that Ive seen some films where I couldnt work up much empathy. That is because of the angle and shallow focus of the item. Its almost as if they chose gambling stereotypes that they feel people want to see... I dont want to sound harsh but you know what Im getting at....more likely to wind non gamblers up about greed than get to the root of the issue as a highly addictive, drug addiction and mental illness

Ok some films are better than others but I would want to see scenes about the bitter arguments, manipulation, lies relapses, evictions fraud and so on

I will give them some scenes about food shopping for a week with £1.67 Fishing a piece of old bacon out of the bin, lying in the fetal position for days with no electricity on...walking home for miles feeling so alone..... so desperately alone with it all

I want a darker, in depth look at the problem on television so I would want scenes filmed with enough length and shock value to wake people up about deregulated gambling on a massive scale

Best wishes

 

Could we not try and make it ourselves? With the help of gamcare? Maybe if enough people complained about the piece on the one show someone might listen? Just a thought, but your comment @joydivider is spot on!

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Posted : 7th July 2020 2:40 pm
Chris.UK
(@chris-uk)

I would suggest that people watch it first. You might disagree with me.

There have been some really good(but obviously bad in detail) stories over the years and occasionally a normal one(non celebrity) will get through.

Justyn Rees Larcombe has one such story which made the rounds a few years ago which got major attention and helped raise the profile of the problem and Paul Merson, although a celebrity, has a harrowing story but with a positive outcome. 

 

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Posted : 7th July 2020 4:38 pm
JohnMac
(@johnmac)

I've actually just bought Justyn Rees Larcombe's book and also by coincidence was watching Merson's TV appearances today where he talks about his addiction. Yes, they are both good stories to use. 

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Posted : 7th July 2020 11:26 pm
bamgbsa1
(@bamgbsa1)

Just joined this website myself.. and took time out to search out the video referenced

I agree, its informative and light hearted.. in that it touches just the surface. But doesnt get to the real crux of gambling and what it does to you. And how Peter and Steph got so emtional when recounting the story.

To be fair to the 1 show, they only had a 5min slot, so with alot of editing, they have presented what they felt was the crux of the story.

 

Indeed perhaps Gamcare, gambling commission are the ones to do a proper video/message on the subject.

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Posted : 19th July 2020 5:40 pm
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