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struggling to get over losses  

 
cd1994
(@cd1994)

Hi

Posted a few times on forums in the past really just to try and seek comfort and sanity from other members as you feel so alone in this battle. 

I massively struggle to get over gambling losses in the past. I’m 26 got a good job and not in any debt through gambling but it doesn’t make the pain any easier of loosing probably 20K in 8 years of gambling at least. Does anyone have any tips to get over the losses in the past I’m fixated on these losses everyday and the guilt I can’t take anymore. When I think of what I could have done with that money etc. I’m not exaggerating when I say the losses are all that’s on my mind everyday. I suffer with anxiety and depression as well which does not help and could stem from the gambling. 

Thanks 

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Posted : 10th September 2020 6:30 pm
Chris.UK
(@chris-uk)

@cd1994 Apart from all the usual advice on here that you have read before, ask yourself if you're a half glass empty or half glass full person?

If you have a half glass empty outlook try mentally changing that view. Consider the half full viewpoint. You aren't in debt and moving forward you'll be able to save money and see your balance grow. Or just consider it the fees for 8 years of being a member of the gambling club.

If you don't draw a line in the past it will haunt you and fester until you go chasing it back. Then you'll be worse off.

Chris.

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Posted : 10th September 2020 6:48 pm
Jon39
(@jon39)

If its any consolation I have lost £10,000 in just 4 months playing 2 new live dealer games. 

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Posted : 10th September 2020 7:36 pm
Craig724
(@craig724)

We all have horrible losses mate, but if you don’t shake yourself out of this mindset your screwed, never going to get over it.  Obvious statement but the money is gone nothing you can do.  Chase your losses you’ll lose more and be  even more depressed. Just make sure you don’t ever make the same mistake 

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Posted : 10th September 2020 7:39 pm
Chris.UK
(@chris-uk)

Try this way instead. Would you change your losses for losing all your friends, or losing a relationship, or being homeless or being sacked from dream jobs?

I'd swap £20K for not having to go through any of those things and if you had to choose something for gambling to have cost you, given all you could have lost, the money seems the best option, doesn't it?

Chris.

This post was modified 2 weeks ago by Chris.UK
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Posted : 10th September 2020 7:56 pm
Frogman
(@frogman)

I should have written off my £25k gambling loss which was over a 6 year period. I kept it on a spreadsheet thinking I would get it back one day, I went chasing aggressively in 2017. Long story short, I have now lost £109k. I still have it on a spreadsheet but two months ago, I wrote it off in my head and haven't gambled since.

My advice is a very simple one, see the £20k as some business you did that went terribly wrong, forget it completely, believe me, it's gone. I am hoping you are back here with the mindset that you really want to stop gambling. The problem is much deeper than the £20k

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Posted : 10th September 2020 9:16 pm
stephie100
(@stephie100)

hi I used to be a member of gamblers anonymous and one of the principles they go by which I still try to live by is the serenity prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

Courage to change the things I can

And wisdom to know the difference

I am now not gambling with the help of gamcare but am 62 and have lost in the region of half a million pounds in my lifetime , I cannot change that but I can rebuild my life . Youve done so well to stop , very few do . so dont look back rebuild , very few compulsive gamblers actually stop , you should be congratulated.

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Posted : 11th September 2020 7:12 am
Trying2move4ward
(@trying2move4ward)

I lost far more money in a horribly short time. I didn’t realise I was having side affects of impulse control for a prescription medication I was taking for a neurological condition. It basically led me to a breakdown. I had so much guilt about the amount of money (amongst other stuff) it brought me close to the edge. GamCare organised counselling which has really helped me come to terms with it and see the bigger picture about what really matters. 
You are young, you aren’t in doubt, in reality you are in a strong place. You mention anxiety, well that can make people fixated on things and I think that’s what’s happening to you. You just can’t see the bigger picture at the moment. Please reach out to a GamCare and ask for counselling. They will help you with this, help stop further gambling and let you move on to the next phase of your life. All the best 

 

 

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Posted : 11th September 2020 7:38 am
MythDunk
(@mythdunk)

You like many of us have made some very poor decisions with your finances. However, despite those losses you are not financially ruined. Please stop obsessing about the losses. They're gone. The sooner you can train yourself to accept that fact the quicker you can move on with life...and not make the same mistakes again.

If you carry on doing the right things you will gradually see your personal finances getting healthier until there reaches a point where you realize you no longer are wasting any thoughts on past losses and are just looking forward.

 

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Posted : 11th September 2020 9:45 am
Chris.UK
(@chris-uk)

@cd1994 any of this help you? 

Chris.

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Posted : 12th September 2020 7:49 am
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