Hi, I’m really struggling at the moment and not sure how I combat it. I’m 19 and have been gambling for around 4 years. The past few months have been really tough. Lost pretty much every penny to my name. Never have I left myself with not enough money to pay bills however this week I spent everything knowing full well I needed this money. I didn’t want to admit it but I feel like I’m getting depressed. Don’t want to get up in the mornings. All I can think about 24/7 is gambling. Of all the people it could have happened to why does it have to be me? I don’t drink. Never done drugs and Never buy anything for myself. I don’t care for expensive clothes or things but I will spend every penny I have on gambling. I am now at the point where I hate gambling even though I can’t stop doing it. Really doesn’t make sense. I get so frustrated and upset even when I’m doing it. I have wanted to stop for so long but now I think it’s not about wanting to stop. I think I have to. Forget about putting stops in place etc. I done that found ways around everything to help prevent gambling. I need something else to help me stop I just don’t know what. Really want to get out of this dark hole I have dug myself.
I'm really so sorry you are feeling so rubbish, it's soul-destroying I know. You've written lots that I relate to and it's eventually led to me making contact with an Advisor via live chat just now. I don't really know what I've started off and it's really scary but you kind of know when you have got to a crisis point I guess. I can agree when you say you need help to get of the dark hole. Depression and gambling is a bit of a catch 22 situation sadly. When you say you don't want to get up in the mornings it sounds like there is depression under the surface.
This may sound odd to you but you are a very lucky and fortunate person. You are so very, very young and so therefore, in time, this period in your life will be just a dim and distant memory. Just a "blip". I know they aren't the experiences we'd choose for ourselves but you'll be able to leave it behind you and enjoy the better life you deserve without a gambling issue weighting you down.
Reading and posting here can be really helpful, as I'm finding too. Find the help you need, then don't dwell too much about what's happened. You won't realise it yet but you've probably had a very lucky escape.