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Pontefract Pigeon
(@pontefract-pigeon)

Hi everyone, I joined this forum a few months ago. I had just starting betting again after 6 months of no betting. In monetary terms I am not a massive gambler but can't just have one bet. I bet on Saturday afternoon football, then have to recoup my losses in the evening kick off and so on.

I find myself stopping betting and saving money, spending more time with my family etc. but then like today (after 55 days bet free) I have a bet. Its almost as though I want to bet to prove to myself I haven't an addiction. Guess what, the same cycle start again of betting, not enjoying it and a change in my personality. 

I know the response will be to block myself from all sites but that is so hard to do for me (I hope people understand where I'm coming from) and its like admitting an addiction (which is so hard). I honestly feel ashamed to talk to my close family and friends about it.

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Posted : 9th January 2021 10:49 pm
klamm
(@klamm)

you can end the cycle. it dont need to be never ending. why hang on to self harm

ReplyQuote
Posted : 9th January 2021 11:11 pm
X M
 X M
(@x-m)

It's totally understandable how you are and how you are feeling. 

You have to look at the fact that you went two months without gambling. That is a really difficult thing to do. 

If it's football you're betting on, it's so difficult as there are football matches nearly every single day of the year. 

It's really difficult to stop. What you could do is just maybe try to limit yourself to a small amount every Saturday afternoon. If it's gone, don't bet until the next Saturday afternoon. If you win, withdraw the amount. 

Whatever you do, it's gonna be difficult but if you can do two months without then you can try and do that again and then go from there. It's good that you have addressed the fact that it changes your personality etc. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 9th January 2021 11:28 pm
Mark15
(@mark15)

I was in a  similar position regarding the football, chasing my losses all wkend the bets getting bigger each time. After finally admitting i had a problem i tried to watch football bet free. It is difficult. 
With myself it was a realisation that no matter what id won on football betting eventually it would go back to the betting firms and with more on top. The concept of walking away after a win and retiring doesnt exist for people like us. I wish you luck mate.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10th January 2021 9:27 am
Pontefract Pigeon
(@pontefract-pigeon)

Thanks everyone and I think Mark sums up my situation well. 

I don't want to be corner counting over playing with my child but ending on a loss is so hard to deal with. Fingers crossed I stay strong today.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10th January 2021 11:08 am
Mark15
(@mark15)

That is exactly what i was doing, pushing my kids on the swings at the park whilst checking on whether the corners or shots on target bet was on track. Did this for years, its only just now that im giving my children my full attention and i feel awful for the time iv lost enjoying their company to some bet builder.
But its better to be recognise this now and put it right. 
One day at a time mate. Im not even a week gone but already feel happier. 
You can do this.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10th January 2021 12:50 pm
WorriedInWiltshire
(@worriedinwiltshire)

Please talk to your family about it.  I wish my husband had spoken to me.  

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10th January 2021 2:07 pm
Pontefract Pigeon
(@pontefract-pigeon)

Thanks, it definitely sounds like we are in the same boat. I went to the park today and all I wanted to do was have a bet and check my phone. I am embarrassed to say I gave in and had a bet. I knew it was the wrong thing to do but just couldn't stop myself. Currently got bet regret and fighting the urges again. Deep down I know I need to speak to my wife and block the sites but that is the hardest step imo. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10th January 2021 4:03 pm
Mark15
(@mark15)

I have only admitted my issues on here. I dont really want to tell my wife as she struggles with her mental health and the last thing i want to do is upset. Using Gamcare has massively helped me and interacting with people like yourself only strengthens my resolve. I found getting past the first couple of days the hardest especially with football being on non stop, i used Gamstop to block putting bets on, i massively recommend this mate. You can so this  

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10th January 2021 4:14 pm
Callum2397
(@callum2397)
Posted by: Pontefract Pigeon

Hi everyone, I joined this forum a few months ago. I had just starting betting again after 6 months of no betting. In monetary terms I am not a massive gambler but can't just have one bet. I bet on Saturday afternoon football, then have to recoup my losses in the evening kick off and so on.

I find myself stopping betting and saving money, spending more time with my family etc. but then like today (after 55 days bet free) I have a bet. Its almost as though I want to bet to prove to myself I haven't an addiction. Guess what, the same cycle start again of betting, not enjoying it and a change in my personality. 

I know the response will be to block myself from all sites but that is so hard to do for me (I hope people understand where I'm coming from) and its like admitting an addiction (which is so hard). I honestly feel ashamed to talk to my close family and friends about it.

Hi Pontefract,

This is extremely similar to my experience, for a long long time I did not want to ban myself from gambling sites, I saw my friends having the odd bet on football and enjoying it for the thrill of the one game, it was an escape and I also didn’t want to admit I had a problem. 

However it comes down to this, if you cannot just have one bet and walk away and it will lead to a spiral, then you have a gambling problem. Unfortunately we are not programmed to allow our selves the odd bet here and there. Like a drug addict wouldn’t do the odd hit here or there or an ex alcoholic having the odd pint with his lunch. 

If it is causing you financial difficulties, any type of emotional stress or feeling of guilt and loss of control. It is time to ban and walk away, before you get into a vicious pattern where you can’t resist for so many days at a time and it eats everything you have. Take the leap, it is not bettering you or your future in any way. 

All the best

Callum

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10th January 2021 5:09 pm
Pontefract Pigeon
(@pontefract-pigeon)

Thanks for your responses. I have had a really bad day but am happy in a weird way because now I know its time to act.

Would people recommend Gamstop as the best option to exclude myself? Thanks 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10th January 2021 7:02 pm
tigercub
(@tigercub)

Hi.

I was in exactly the same position up until 29th December when I decided enough was enough. I have lost the majority of the last 10 years of my life to in-play betting. Not huge sums of money but just lost so much time with my family and time spent on hobbies and other things that are better for my mental and physical health.
On 29th December I signed up to gamstop for 5 years, and as that only covers UK based sites (I beleive?) I also installed Gamban. I have also blocked gambling payments with my bank. I considered pretending to my self that I could self exclude for a couple of months and then come back to it, but the best thing is to just put gambling behind me.
I hope you come to realise the same. Gone are the days when you put on one bet a week at a betting shop. Betting is too accessible now and there’s football 24/7 to bet on! Time to focus on life again mate, you can do it!! 
ReplyQuote
Posted : 10th January 2021 7:31 pm
Pontefract Pigeon
(@pontefract-pigeon)

Just to update everyone, after a bad day yesterday I took the big leap (after around 5 attempts to press the button) and I've used GamStop to block myself for a year.

Thanks to GamCare I am in contact with a company about potential counselling sessions. 

It may not seem like much but this is a massive step in my journey. Now to tell my wife about my problem, I hope she understands. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 11th January 2021 3:47 pm
superswan
(@superswan)

Pontefract Pigeon, I was like you a few years ago, I was so scared of taking that final step of banning myself from all sites. I was £90,000 in debt, maxed out 6 credit cards and contemplating suicide as it was just getting worse and worse. I`m not saying you`re as bad as me but do you want to end up like that?, because you will if you carry on. Be brave, think of your family and sign up with Gamstop, it will be the best thing you will EVER do in your life. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 11th January 2021 9:32 pm
superswan
(@superswan)

re. your update, I would only suggest make your exclusion five years instead of one and finally get that monkey off your back, best of luck!

ReplyQuote
Posted : 11th January 2021 9:41 pm
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