I mentioned this before in another thread. Essentially early on this year (as in a few weeks ago) I gambled after abstaining for some months and won enough to pay off all my debts. Tried to collect, but the casino stalled it but the fault is mine. I reversed all of the withdrawals after drinking and left only a few. Lost the rest of that plus more. Later on, again I won but also did that after stalling, asking for docs I already provided etc.
I went over my overdraft in the process and pleaded with the bank to extend it while at work in the car park, which they did, payment plan recycling by 600 a month. Got a reprimand for that. I moved back with my parents in 2018 and still currently live here. I usually just go to bed after my 50-55 hour a week job.To be honest, I'm not particularly liked; I might just get fired anyway as I'm still in probation.
Anyway, one day a few weeks ago, informally colleagues were talking about gambling and I foolishly said I lost and won and to stay away. My job depends on a government SC pass. Turns out someone reported me and I have to take the financial checks again. I took them last year but I'm now 3x as much in debt. I may fail. Failure to pass = fired.
I didn't gamble for 3 weeks. Today I've been on the phone to creditors, asking for payment plans to lessen the chances of failing the check.
I ended up depositing and ended losing it all. Threw my phone across the room.
This month I can barely afford getting to this work if I don't get fired. But best case scenario is another 18 months living with parents and paying off debt. I'll be almost 40 then. I haven't had a girlfriend in 15 years, obviously no money now. I used to go out socialsing 2 or 3 times a week in my 20s but I guess no one was interested in me. As an average man it's either luck or really pulling the bull by its horns in terms of dating.
I can't believe I lost. Why though. My greedy self wanted what I got before. Why in terms of losing all the time and why did you not take say **** (not that it matters too much),
If I fail the check, it's probably bankruptcy. I took out life insurance back last year and will be very upset if I don't have the option of checking out due to bankrupcy though. If they cancel the life insurance, that means I there will still be debt in someone else's name and I'd have to go on - wouldn't have the option so to say. Having the option paradoxically would make it better.
I've been calmer recently, mainly because I'm finally on an anti depressant. If I won that money and it went into my bank account and I paid off debts I'd be OK. Too late for many things, but searching for a job in my old town on the coast instead of being miserable here (but no). I'd be a wreck otherwise.
I got the meeting at work tomorrow (been delayed several times) concerning my employment status. It's 3:30 am. I don't think I will find out for sure - it will likely drag on for weeks further until the vetting agency makes a decision. There aren't many jobs around here and I can't drive. Still need to make a couple of phone calls to creditors for payment plans, but I ended up cracking open wine for the time being.
I am so sorry that you are going through all of this but please stay away from the drink. It will not mix well at all with anti depressants and you risk far more than a job here. You will never get that money back. You will only sink deeper into debt and your health will spiral with it.
There is no quick fix for the debt and you will certainly never be bailed out by gambling. Please get blocks in place and lock down all possibilities to gamble. Focus on the problem. Gambling is the problem, not debt. Gambling caused the debt so why would it make it go away?
Your health and your well being is what matters here. If you can get your health back, you will be in a much better position to tackle the debt but searching for quick fixes and instant gratification is only going to prolong the agony.
Do not go over the possibilities of gambling. There could be 100 Red in a row while you insist that black must be next and continue backing it. Each spin has no bearing at all on the next. There is no strategy and that little box they show you with all the HOT and COLD numbers is to feed into that fallacy. You know this, so don't torture yourself with it.
The outcome of gambling is irrelevant. It is the action of gambling that is killing you. If you win, you won't stop. If you lose, you won't stop. What is the point? You have to stop thinking that winning money is going to solve all your problems. Getting rid of the debt doesn't get rid of gambling addiction. You will clear the debt only to make it all over again unless you change your mindset.
There's no peace in gambling. No contentment. Win or lose, you are unsettled and on edge. I am happier now with NOTHING. I can't take it any more. My health is more important now than playing around with numbers on a screen. I'm not interested in the false promises and lies. I accept my debt and I know where I stand with it.
you are clearly wrapped up in a whirlwind of destruction caused by gambling
your in a particularly difficult situation because of the volume of debt you've amassed
but from what you've posted it doesnt sound like you have a hell of a lot to lose by going insolvent /bankrupt
at least then you effectively get a clean slate to start again .......unless your job is paying mega money i cant see you realistically being able to live a decent life and pay off 40K of debt within 10 years it just inst practical
you say you work a government job , so would assume you have a decent sickness policy ?
you are already on anti depressants so i cant imagine it would take much to get the doctor to sign you off with depression / anxiety ? at least then you would have a couple of months off fully paid
would give you time to sort the bankruptcy and your head out maybe even find a new job
5 years ago i was in your position with 10k of debt not a penny to my name living in parents box room , i went into an IVA wrote 5 thousand of that debt changed jobs twice and today i am virtually debt free with 5K in my savings account
things do get better but you must have a plan of action
I'm sorry to hear how difficult things are for you and I am concerned that you are thinking of taking your own life as an option to clear the debt from gambling.
Please know there is always another solution to your problems and the way you're feeling. As bleak as things may feel at the moment, you can get through this and we are here to help you every step of the way.
We can support you with the problem gambling, we can talk about coping strategies and make a free referral for some extra support via counselling sessions if you contact us.
We would urge you to make an appointment with your GP as soon as possible so they can support you with your mental health, your thoughts and feelings around suicide and your medication. If you can't get an urgent appointment then please call the NHS 111 for medical advice, they also have the ability to make out of hours appointments at a local GP.
There are also helplines that you can call for support with your mental health, there is so much help available for you. Please don't be alone with this.
If you need medical assistance straight away, you can call 999 or visit your local A&E hospital.
There are also other organisations that can help you work through your debt and financial matters.
Please call our helpline on 0808 8020 133 or access our Netline (web chat) via our GamCare website so that we can discuss things together and work on a plan to get you all the support and help you need. We're open day and night so you can always reach us, alternatively you can email your details to our forum inbox to arrange a call back [email protected]
Although overcoming problem gambling is a challenge, it is achievable. You have the power to change everything and to create a gamble and debt free future for yourself. Please let us help you do this.