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I took loan/card out in my Wife's name  

 
shadow7uk
(@shadow7uk)

Good Morning,

Before I go into further detail I would like to state that I am the s**m of the earth and I walked into a police station to confess everything.

To c*t a very long story short. I had a gambling addiction which spiraled out of control very quickly, I kept taking loans/card/payday out in my name to fund the addiction and the ever increasing payments each month, it got to a stage where I could get no further credit in my name.

In sheer desperation I applied for a loan in my wife's name and was accepted immediately.

I created an email address for her and used my work's mobile number on the application, we had a joint bank account for bills which she trusted me to look after, she didn't have online banking set up for herself on that account. Bills stressed my wife out so she trusted me to sort everything out, all she done was transfer the monthly bill/food money in and used the debit card for food. She had her own account for everything else.

Over the last year I applied for more and more to fund everything and it now stands that I have taken out:

1 loan
1 CC
4 Payday loans

Current outstanding ~ £16k

I went to the police at the beginning of the month due to the fact that I feel so guilty and ashamed of what I have been doing. They advised on what I should do next.

I told my wife everything the next day, she then reported everything on action fraud which the Police told me to get her to do. She also contacted all 6 creditors to explain the situation.

She has received her first official response back from the CC company and following their investigation they don't believe it to be fraud, they believe she took the CC out her self. Due to the reason that it appears that the info given was correct and accurate at the time and they see no evidence of fraud.

We have since gone back to them stating that "my husband knows everything about me of course he made it look like me making the application" they are only willing to re-open the investigation if my wife wants to prosecute which of course I want her to. So now they are looking into to it again.

My wife's worry is that all the other 5 creditors will find no fraud as well.

I want to be prosecuted, I feel as though I need to be punished, on after that I can start fresh and move on with my life.
My wife asked if the loans can be put in my name and I will pay them back in my DMP but they all said no.

We don't have the money to clear the debts and there is no one to help out.

Has anyone experienced anything similar?

Quote
Posted : 2nd October 2019 10:40 am
Muststop123
(@muststop123)

Hi Shadow7Uk

I am sorry to hear the terrible position you have got yourself into. 

You may get a better answer in the Friends and Family section where there may be members who have experienced this situation from your wife's side. 

I have no expert knowledge of how the courts deal with this type of fraud and in what circumstances the police/CPS will actually take action but I would suggest you get some professional advice. Maybe Citizen's Advice would be a starting point? Think you need to understand the options open to you and your wife. 

You say you are happy to be prosecuted and I believe you. The feeling of needing to be punished is one I am very familiar with, but you might need to look at the bigger picture of how much worse off your wife will be once you lose your job and struggle to get another one. 

Just don't do anything rash until you have got some advice. Ideal solution is you find a way to pay this money back yourself however long it takes. 

Have you taken the steps to ensure you can't gamble again and make things even worse?

Good luck and keep posting. 

Muststop123

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 2nd October 2019 4:11 pm
S.A
 S.A
(@s-687)

Hi... I am a compulsive gambler. Sorry to hear about the difficult situation in which you and your wife find yourselves. Your far from being the first compulsive gambler to do such things. But what is clear from what you say is that you want to make amends. You don't come across as an inherently bad person, just a person like thousands others that has been consumed with the desire to gamble. Its an addiction and you have been snared.

What you want to happen next is clear but what does your wife want to happen?? Does she herself really want you to be prosecuted?? I think what am trying to suggest is that once the emotions have settled once reality has fully dawned and the implications of you being prosecuted become clear... then does SHE really want to prosecute you?? Cos when all is said and done the decision is hers. Its a toughy that's for sure and I haven't been in a similar situation myself. Maybe others have some more practical realistic advice.

As a compulsive gambler I understand the "self-punishment" thing but that too is also a part of the addictive cycle. There is making amends where we can which is good and then there is self-punishment which is not so good. There is also another way of looking at it. We often want to feel in control of what happens to us even in our darkest hour, even when we are completely out of control. What happens next may well be taken our of your control.. your addiction will fight against this. If you gamble online GAMSTOP is must for both you and your wife. It stops online gambling.

Your not s**m of the earth. You do have a conscience. Your ok, youve just been ruled by addiction but you can get back to living a normal life.

All the best

ReplyQuote
Posted : 2nd October 2019 4:30 pm
shadow7uk
(@shadow7uk)

Thank you for your kind comments.

I can clarify a few things. 

Measures have been put in place to stop the risk of gambling (all money taken at my request)

My wife wants to stay and support me, she works in the healthcare sector(Paramedic) and is fully aware about addictions and how they take over.

Me and my wife are in no position to pay the money back, I have close to £60k of debt in my own name and no assets, we do own a house but barely any equity.

I want to pay the companies their money back, but the only way would them to transfer into my name and I can pay back via my DMP, all 6 creditors say this is impossible. 

Our choices are prosecution or pay it back, so unfortunately we are only left with 1 option. I believe the companies will need my wife to testify that she didn't take the loans out.

I have a completely clean record and never even spoken to the police before in my life until last month.

This post was modified 2 weeks ago by shadow7uk
ReplyQuote
Posted : 3rd October 2019 9:19 am
Muststop123
(@muststop123)

Hi Shadow7uk

Still think you need to get some professional advice before you go down the option of your wife agreeing to prosecute you. This may be what you think you deserve and maybe it is but if and your wife both want to stay together you need to make sure sure you are making the best long term decision for you both.

You say you have only two options. 

Option 1, you are prosecuted, I don't know what line of work you are in but for many businesses, committing fraud is an automatic firing offence even if you escape a custodial sentence and stay out of prison. Finding another job with a conviction for fraud is not going to be easy. If you already have £60k of debt I am not sure how this is going to get paid, let alone pay the mortgage or eat, without a wage coming in. If you stay with your wife all the financial burden is going to effectively fall on her if you are not able to contribute anything. It is easy for people to say that it is your debt to pay but if you are living with a partner who has no money, what do you do - sit and eat while they starve? You will be the one who is prosecuted but there will be am impact on her. 

Option 2, you try and pay it back. You say if it could be transferred to your DMP then you could pay it, suggesting that you do have some disposable income that could be used to pay a loan off. This next suggestion is going to go against every bit advice you will get on the Friends and Family section where they will advise the non-gambling partner to protect themselves  financially and do not take on the debts of a gambler but here goes. If your wife takes the 6 loans which are all in her name currently and consolidates them into one long term (10/15 years) lower rate loan then would this be affordable for you (not her) to pay back? This requires her to trust you enough to stick around that long and not gamble again so she would be taking a huge risk. You would need to agree to having all your wages paid direct to her every month and having no access to bank accounts/cards until the loan was paid off. Even as I write that it sounds a bad idea.   

Neither of these options seem at all attractive for the impact they will have on your wife. 

I feel for you. my friend, because I know none of us considered the impact we would have on our families in the foggy trance of gambling when nothing else mattered but you really must make sure you make the next decisions with a clear head and not one clouded by the fallout of gambling.

Speak to someone who knows what they doing rather than some random guy on the internet like me!

Good luck

Muststop123 

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 4th October 2019 8:38 am
Merry go round
(@merry-go-round)

Hi wow! I read this when it was first posted. My instinct has always been to be supportive but to not help pay debts. My cg had similar debts which consolidated and spread over 10years he paid, including remortgage. We went to citizens advice, this was 16 years ago. Now there is stepchange and debtcamel. Also a financial advisor might help with debt consolidation. I'm with muststop and agree you should get sound advice, don't make rash decisions. 

I would look at gamstop, credit reports, GA (someone there may well have been in your position). National debtline, gamcare.

find all your options, I'm sure you have, but maybe there is something less extreme than prosecution. 

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 4th October 2019 9:30 am
shadow7uk
(@shadow7uk)

Thank you again for the supportive advice.

I am with Stepchange currently and on a DMP they were very helpful for my debts, but are unable to help in terms with my wife's. Unless she calls to go on a DMP, this is not an option though, she does not want these debts in her name at all.

Getting a consolidation loan won't work for 2 reasons:

1. She wouldn't agree to do this

2. She wouldn't get accepted, I have screwed her credit report up, but missed payments.

Does anyone know of any solicitors that could offer free advice? I will call the CAB too.

Kind Regards,

ReplyQuote
Posted : 4th October 2019 11:25 am
KS2
 KS2
(@ks2)

Your wife should;

1) Make separate all finances. No joint bank account. Ideally mortgage and house in her name only (if possible).

2) Write to all creditors with details of action fraud / police, crime reference number.

3) Use CIFAS's Protective Registration Service - which reduces risk of you doing it again.

4) Take advice from a solicitor.

5) Keep speaking to creditors - but on no account should she pay them anything.

6) Recognise that your actions are a form of domestic abuse as well as fraud.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 4th October 2019 11:44 am
Givemethebuzz
(@givemethebuzz)
Posted by: shadow7uk

Good Morning,

Before I go into further detail I would like to state that I am the s**m of the earth and I walked into a police station to confess everything.

To c*t a very long story short. I had a gambling addiction which spiraled out of control very quickly, I kept taking loans/card/payday out in my name to fund the addiction and the ever increasing payments each month, it got to a stage where I could get no further credit in my name.

In sheer desperation I applied for a loan in my wife's name and was accepted immediately.

I created an email address for her and used my work's mobile number on the application, we had a joint bank account for bills which she trusted me to look after, she didn't have online banking set up for herself on that account. Bills stressed my wife out so she trusted me to sort everything out, all she done was transfer the monthly bill/food money in and used the debit card for food. She had her own account for everything else.

We don't have the money to clear the debts and there is no one to help out.

I work in law so il try to make this as quick as possible

you are married which creates a financial bond between you there is usually no fraud between man and wife and you are going to have a very very difficult time convincing the credit companies otherwise

the only viable avenue I could see you getting away with this is if you wife divorced you and then pursued the debt you've accrued through the courts this would effectively put the onus of the debt back onto you

its good that you want to take responsibility but going to the police was a mistake this is a civil matter and an fraud investigation will cause you more problems than you already have  

 

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 7th October 2019 10:18 am
shadow7uk
(@shadow7uk)
Posted by: Givemethebuzz
Posted by: shadow7uk

Good Morning,

Before I go into further detail I would like to state that I am the s**m of the earth and I walked into a police station to confess everything.

To c*t a very long story short. I had a gambling addiction which spiraled out of control very quickly, I kept taking loans/card/payday out in my name to fund the addiction and the ever increasing payments each month, it got to a stage where I could get no further credit in my name.

In sheer desperation I applied for a loan in my wife's name and was accepted immediately.

I created an email address for her and used my work's mobile number on the application, we had a joint bank account for bills which she trusted me to look after, she didn't have online banking set up for herself on that account. Bills stressed my wife out so she trusted me to sort everything out, all she done was transfer the monthly bill/food money in and used the debit card for food. She had her own account for everything else.

We don't have the money to clear the debts and there is no one to help out.

I work in law so il try to make this as quick as possible

you are married which creates a financial bond between you there is usually no fraud between man and wife and you are going to have a very very difficult time convincing the credit companies otherwise

the only viable avenue I could see you getting away with this is if you wife divorced you and then pursued the debt you've accrued through the courts this would effectively put the onus of the debt back onto you

its good that you want to take responsibility but going to the police was a mistake this is a civil matter and an fraud investigation will cause you more problems than you already have  

 

 

Thank you for your reply. I agree, we are having a difficult time convincing them, I have now sent them all the bank statements from that account. The statement shows as soon as the money goes in, it is either transferred to my personal account or it is gambled.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 7th October 2019 11:17 am
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