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I think about my losses everyday...  

 
THERESA2500
(@theresa2500)

But it is a reminder of my gambling potential if I do gamble again.

I have been 2 weeks gamble free and everyday I think about my losses.... I start out counting what I have recently lost.. which is 4K just down the drain. Just like that it was gone.

About 2 years ago, another 2k... that’s 6k

If I add up the other small times I did gamble... maybe lifetime I am down 7k? Scary isn’t it when you really think of it like that?

 The first few weeks it was really troubling and causing me so much pain and feels like a torment everyday.. Today I use it to fuel my recovery... should I ever be so crazy to gamble again, 7k is a reminder of what the potential of gambling is... and that is to lose again.... 

 

Let your losses be a constant reminder if you ever have urges to gamble again. I am slowly starting to feel like myself again - although the not quite there yet. 

I’m interested in reading and learning about the science of it all. I’m thinking of a good podcast to listen to which explains the science of how your brain processes the highs and lows of gambling, then the aftermath- how it affects us emotionally, why is it all about the loss- that feeling of despair and hatred of money you lost and you want it back- all of it. Yes, we all know that feeling.

Maybe this is a sign of how I’m slowly healing on this recovery journey. 
 I’m quite interested in hearing how others have coped with such a loss, and interested to hear about what others think about the science of it all? Let me hear your thoughts... 

Happy weekend and stay gamble free everyone.

 
‘The safest way to double your money is fold

it twice and put it in your pocket. 

‘A gambler is nothing but a man who makes his living out of false hope’

This topic was modified 2 weeks ago 3 times by THERESA2500
Quote
Posted : 1st August 2020 10:54 pm
st3v3n
(@st3v3n)

I can relate to all you say. Feeling bad about your actions is good for most people who have will power and can go on a long run of not gambling, life gets better. The trick which I have still not mastered is getting the balance right and not feeling too bad about it for too long but also not being complacent, the feelings you talk about become less raw and you get comfortable and I have become lazy with it in the past like not logging on here as I'm strong, I need to be doing both at minimum and picking up the phone regularly, once every 3 months I'd say. I wish you well in your recovery and all you do, we are more than just gamblers and we need to remember that!

ReplyQuote
Posted : 1st August 2020 11:50 pm
Macca
(@macca)

Hello THERESA2500.

I‘ve lost lots gambling but been gambling free for 10months or so, now.

unfortunately the money you have lost has gone and you need to just right off; as a bad series of moves / life choices that were never going to pay off.

a perhaps more positive approach I’ve taken To help with the acceptance (Which has helped me) is to try and earn it back. Don’t just mean taking on more work (if you can get it) because that’s just not practical or possible Sometimes ; but rather by trying to save money by taking on home projects you may have paid someone else to do in the past. And / Or focusing on saving on Household bills by getting another deal somewhere else? Even cutting back on the odd treat you may have given yourself to save some pennies.

appreciate it’s a balance here; and all these savings may be baby steps but cumulatively they can add up. Also, we all have a life and need treats etc so it’s a personal choice of what you want to do to try and make yourself feel better and move on. I just write this as when I consciously make a (money) saving decision, now, that I may not have made before losing money gambling the process fills a psychological  gap, a bit. (Earning it back - if not all of it, just some of it......Along with the acceptance the original sums gambled have just gone)

Hope some of this makes sense.

cheers, Macca.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 1st August 2020 11:53 pm
Joydivider
(@joydivider)

Hi Theresa2500.

Yes you will think about your losses and the aim is to turn that focus into something more positive to set your future.

As Macca says the money is gone. Thats what we did with it and it can be hard at first to accept that. It is reality sinking in but reality is what we need. 

When I faced my losses it was over five times what my delusional mind had been accepting. Over a lifetime I cant really calculate it because I refused to accept it at the time to lessen the impact...I know its an eye watering amount that really would have made a difference to my life now

Its certainly not a get it back later scheme and there is no clever way of getting it back bit by bit. I ignored the odds because its a complex addiction which controls the mind for a fix. I was a drug addict for it but also hooked on the false notion that I could be a clever/sensible machine player. It really is an horrendous addiction 

I use it as a focus on how very ill and addicted I was. I just cant believe it was me who chucked that away ....but it was. Under the influence of a heavy addiction I felt compelled to act that way. It wasnt really a choice I had any control of and I dont think it was all my fault but I have to accept full responsibility to properly recover.

All I can say is life is much better gamble free. The money does build up into a rainy day fund and I look to the future. We simply must use every thought process to strengthen the mind. 

Best wishes to everyone on the forum

This post was modified 1 week ago by Joydivider
ReplyQuote
Posted : 2nd August 2020 3:45 pm
Amba
 Amba
(@amba)

Hello Mecca 

I love your thinking. It's simple yet achievable. I'll be doing this.

All the best.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 3rd August 2020 2:26 am
Amba
 Amba
(@amba)

Hello Theresa.

I admire you for getting to two weeks. Especially as you feel so troubled. Well done. The way  I am right now I can't manage two days. It's strange how my gambling meltdown has coincided with registering on the gamcare course last week but it has. Maybe there's a connection there, I don't know. Keep well and keep going.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 3rd August 2020 2:42 am
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