Hello.
I have been gambling bad for years now, the first case i admitted i had a problem was when i was £14500 in debt, i confessed to my father who amazingly bailed me out due to the fact he had a similar problem in his younger days. Since then i have bought an amazing house with my partner of 6 years and all was well. During this time i always done my football accumulators small every week but in the past few months i got access to some blackjack. £12k later i am in full overdraught and have a £7k bank loan.
I have been chatting on here and discovered that i can block all sites which i have done and i have given all control of my accounts to my partner who amazinlgy is somehow staying with me at this point after 2 messes i have made. Hopefully the bank will let me pay this debt off over 5 or 6 years in reasonable payments as they have funded me all this money to get in the mess (in no way blaming them, it is all me)
I guess i just want to know of anybody else that has had a similar problem and came through the other side. Could you let me know what you done and how you did it?
The feeling of guilt is unbearable at the minute and i dont know what to do.
Radway.
Hi Radway and welcome to the forum.
Yes you now need to focus that any previous breaks you had from gambling were not actually a sign of control unless you are in a full recovery program with all the help and support you can get.
People come out of the other side by totally surrendering to the fact that the addiction controlled us and had us completely under its control. You learn to respect and fear the addiction for what it is and you can never be complacent again.
Your partner will need to manage the money for a long long time possibly monitored for a lifetime...understand? Your pride will be in providing receipts taking on extra work and sticking to a debt replayment plan. Dont fear that as it becomes a positive goal. What you should fear is continued gambling and the total ruin it has in store for you
Its a drug addiction...its a hit we liked and it soon has people hooked. You have to learn about primordial chemicals in the bloodstream...whether it be love or hunting for food as we did as cavemen it all drives us on. Our bodies get a hit from satisfaction or happiness. Gambling is a strong fix of these chemicals which is why it has been around for so long
The complex factors are that we get a hit from risk even loss and its often a cry for help or a self destruct mechanism within us. Most deluded gamblers think they are going to win a bit because the whole scam is set up that way. "It could be you" is just a bottle of a drug that they peddle at us and we fall for it for various reasons.
Its a tax on our hopes and fears. Nobody is offering you life changing odds on a no brainer decision. What we do in most instances is play at gambling but it still hooks us and destroys us. What I mean by that is I wasnt even playing for anything that would have made a difference but I ended up losing thousand upon thousand doing so. I was addicted to every spin.
I understood the real long odds of the lottery or even 36/1...that scared me off but I ignored the odds on fruit machines as it was my drug of escape.
You should start to feel some serenity that your partner is helping you so go with the flow and give her increased monitoring and full access to anything she wants to check like credit reports.
Its about saving your life so if you if you continue to take this seriously your mind will heal and build barriers.
However you both need to realise that complacency can never set in and the dialogue must continue. If you realise its just like an alcoholic or drug user stopping it gives more focus what gambling addiction is all about.
Once hooked it was never really a game about a silly flutter. It goes far deeper than that to the core of your soul and who you are
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
I guess i just want to know of anybody else that has had a similar problem and came through the other side. Could you let me know what you done and how you did it?
The feeling of guilt is unbearable at the minute and i dont know what to do.
well radway this forum is filled with thousands of people who have had similar problems
but getting through to the other side is a different kettle of fish its a very hard battle that you must have with yourself
the only way to do it is to face up to the reality you have created for yourself , pay the debt and build yourself back to the person you want to be
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