Hi, I have been gambling since I was 18 and I’m now 27. A couple of years ago I realised a had a problem and needed to stop for my sake and my families as my son was just born, I got help and counselling and it really helped, I restricted my money and had all my money paid into a joint account to limit my access and it worked great I didn’t relapse until about 6 months ago.
Fast forward to now and it’s the worst it’s ever been, I set up my own business 6 months ago which has been massively successful but also a huge trigger point for my addiction. I have lost thousands and thousands monthly as when my invoices get paid I withdraw it and gamble it within a few days which is also now causing me problems paying suppliers etc. I’m stuck, I don’t know where to turn as I can’t admit this to my partner again as she is pregnant with our second child and I can’t put more stress on her. I feel like a rubbish father and the sad thing is that doesn’t stop me with this awful awful addiction.
Just looking for some advice really.
Thanks
Dan
You need to mind the gap and step off the train and leave the station. You need to pray for a good accountant and do something else with your time. Been in the same situation as you and its not fun. But if you don't do something else you will just have more of exactly the same and that means being destitute and unhappy. Depending on how long we have been doing this we have planted a weed in our brain called gambling. The only way of dealing with that is to get through to your subconscious that you need another way to get through your day. I always recommend NLP/CBT therapy and also now hypnosis. I am sending you a link to a self-hypnosis youtube I thought worked well on me. May not do anything fo you but play along and at least you will have a relaxing 50 minutes if nothing else. Don't give up. You have a family that you need to step up and take responsibility for. It is all about attitude and what state you're in. You can do this.
Good luck!
Firstly I'd get some help to stop you gambing - depending on the avenue use SENSE or Gamstop.
Tell your partner or family/friends so they can support you both.
Dan, I feel for you, I am in the same position.
As soon as I have money in my account, personal or business account it goes...
It can be within the hour of my account in credit, its ridiculous and i too feel ashamed, stupid, dumb, i feel like a criminal too even though Im using my own cash as it just feels so wrong. I am intelligent, successful yet have little to show for it. I have many many debts all due to gambling addiction.
All i can say to you is please don't beat yourself up, its not a reflection of how you love your family its an addiction, as alcoholics struggle and you wouldn't leave an alcoholic with a bottle of whisky. We struggle if we have monies and access to casino.
Im new to this site but as probably most of us on here I again have lost several hundred pounds last night as my husband slept on a rubbish online casino, I cant stop until every penny goes.. but today i now start again and try work my way to better future.. without gambling.
regards
Hi Dan and Welcome.
You may not like the advice at this stage but it is about openess honesty and looking again at what blocks you really had in place.
Its not an addiction that lets you go easily...it calls you like an evil mistress...only all she has in mind is your pain for her pleasure. Tempation for her evil and cruel perversions. Oh it will seem like a good idea at the start but you can see the results that you are destroying yourself.
Now this is about saving your life...not treating a grown businessman like a baby. However you have to realise that you are totally out of your mind when it comes to gambling...you are probably really clever and sensible in work but the demon rests on your shoulder watching. Its not an issue about intelligence...its a drug addiction.
The trusted advice is you tell your wife backed up by the transfer of all funds into her named account...you get a businessa llowance or someone else you trust doing the accounts for you with some knowledge of the problem you have.
Scared...confused??! The real picture is that you should be very scared of your unchecked gambling habit...everything else will save you from that and you can never be complacent again.
If you are ready you will feel a born again moment of surrender. Its a serene moment when you realise you cant do this yourself. A serene moment when you are suddenly not scared of terms like illness and mental illness.
The answers to triggers are within your soul...you are looking for something but gambling isn't the answer...gambling aint it...its there to provide easy taxes and a jet set lifestyle for the gambling den barons.
Make no mistake they are dens of iniquity. Just because they put a fancy sign up on the high street or internet does'nt mean they are anything but devious and calculated...they know whats on offer.....the risk and delusion is really with you.
Im a firm believer that you get the foundations right and then the therapy follows later. You need to get your family on side and cast iron blocks you have never had before. I read what you said and just get the sense that you thought you could handle it with minimal blocking...joint accounts dont even feature....You wont have access to main money unless someone accompanies you through the transaction...GET ME?? you will be providing receipts for shirts and taking pride in doing so....Clear?
You dont want the trust....Understand?
Gambling has got a hellride rollercoaster in store for you. Deeper dips and a crash into the barriers at the end. If you get off properly now there is certainly hope.
You have to be able to handle what im saying. Ideally your wife should be pushing you into a GA meeting because you are them and they are you. It should help humble you that we are all human beings and this illness doesnt discriminate on income or anything else really.
Im going to sound tough on you because I care. This addiction kills people...its no game about a silly flutter.
Your family relationship is most important...get working hard and looking for the real pleasures in life.
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
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