Hi everyone.
As of late I have been really out of control with my gambling, in terms of chasing loses in the bookies, times spent gambling, and areas affected by the gambling, tired at work, not doing hobbies, and lack of concentration when studying.
Ironically the spiral has come after a big win, so after another loss in the bookies last night, I blocked my online banking so i cannot transfer money between accounts if i have done my withdrawal limit. I have paid all this months bills, and transferred £80 to my other account (before i blocked online banking), i also blocked the pin number on my main card so cant access my money.
So the plan is the £80 will do for food etc, and even if i want any other money i physically have to go in to the bank, and as the bank is a fair walk away from my house I feel that is a good thing.
After the big win, i paid off all my bills and debts, and have managed to keep a really good chunk of it left, so i have £80 for food and probably another £30 in loose change around the house, until i get paid, and also bear in mind I have survived on less that that after doing wages in bookies etc lol.
So anyway ty for reading and I shall keep you updated.
Kind regards Robert
Ok Robert and welcome to the forum.
So you recognise you have a problem and that's a start. I just want to make you aware that its about a born again moment and telling someone close what you have been doing will be a great help. Its about afeeling of serenity that you have sought proper help.
Its about walking into a gambler anonymous meeting even one time and seeing the devastation it causes. Your delusions will soon be countered by reality
I will try and get through to you like this. I feel you know that any "big win" will be going back to them plus more. That's what being hooked to this devastating addiction is about.
It is a drug addiction make no mistake about that and you don't need it in your life. It will totally ruin you if you continue. There is nothing on offer unless the odds are impossibly long and then who wins. People could play for a thousand lifetimes like the lab rats the gambling dens have created
Write down what its done to you and seek all the help you can get. Don't try and man up to it by thinking your willpower alone is enough...It is not in most cases and its an addiction waiting to get back you.
You surrender to it and move on as your mind heals. That will take help and focus...It will take the reality check of telling your parents or someone close. It will take counselling and finding out who you really are. Its a complex addiction which gets in on our fears and insecurities.
Deep down you know they are not offering you an income scheme. When addicted its long past the point of a bit of money coming your way. The truth is I gave them thousands and every bit of money that came my way went back plus more.
I dont talk about wins as that is your term. An addicted gambler is seeking fixes at all costs.....even no food or electricity...an addiction that powerful that it destroys relationships, families and lives
Are you ready for total honesty. I repeat that you don't need it in your life for it is not the answer to what you seek...its not the answer to what you think you seek.
You are a winner when you don't gamble. You are a winner with your life under control with steady work. You have been sold a drug....an escape..a dream and it kills people to be blunt about it
Please phone Gamcare again and get all the reality checks you need
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
Hi
Living in despair and misery was not healthy for me.
Each time I said to myself oh who cares anyway, I was giving up all faith and hope in myself.
If you are emotionally vulnerable talk to someone healthy and like minded in the recovery program.
Gambling and my obsessions were a form of escape for me when I was feeling emotionally vulnerable.
Gambling and my obsessions were fear based issues.
The money was just the fuel for my addictions.
Handing over my money made it easier for me.
Regards Dave L
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