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Filling the void after relapse, what to do to stay happy?  

 
J.D
 J.D
(@j-d)

Hello

I seem to relapse every couple of years or so and you can appreciate these stumbles are costly. It makes "starting over" seem even more harder and tiresome when I feel like I have been back to this square one so many times already.

I guess I am posting to find out how best in these first few days after realising I must stop again to find out what small things I should be doing in the short-term to keep myself busy and positive.  I want to have hope but when you have been back in this position so many times it can be very difficult to find.

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Posted : 6th August 2021 10:39 am
Jee95
(@jee95)

Hi mate. I have relapsed after 2 years as well. Today I came clean to my partner and my mum.

 

staying happy will be hard because we’re thinking of what ifs and the hurt we have caused.

 

time is a healer. Things will get better in time but we have to be strong. 

jee

ReplyQuote
Posted : 6th August 2021 7:43 pm
Athena1991
(@athena1991)

Hi J.D

Sorry to hear your having a tough time at the moment. 

Over my ten years of gambling on and off I have had several relapses. Each relapse hurts but with each one I learn a little bit more about myself and this addiction. This has grown so I have become a lot more resilient and harder to fall back into the arms of gambling. It’s ok to feel hurt for yourself and your loved ones, but please do try and take the learning from this. 

My advice would be keep looking forward, maybe do something fun with your loved ones other the weekend - experience real happiness  (rather than a gambling induced high). 

Don’t be too hard on yourself, it’s done now we can only learn and progress. Try your best not to spend time looking back - that’s not where we are going.

Be kind to yourself, and stay strong 

 

Athena 

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 7th August 2021 5:44 am
c43h
 c43h
(@c43h)

How about thinking through why you need to stay positive occupied and bussy? What gets you down when you are not doing 50 different things? Facing the inner deamons is not easy but it forces us to think about what we need and eventually haveto change. Running away from them is easier but brings less progress. Have a look in that room you dont like to open and see if you can change things on a deeper level. You will find good progress that way.

Best

C

This post was modified 2 months ago 2 times by c43h
ReplyQuote
Posted : 7th August 2021 10:06 am
Givemethebuzz
(@givemethebuzz)

For me the void was the gambling so i eventually realised stopping actually got rid of that feeling of emptiness 

a deep routed gambling addiction takes control of your entire life before you know it thats all you are thinking about 

chasing losses , money , debt , what the next bet will be , preparing lies to cover the latest blow out 

Everything and i mean everything else just gets forgotten about and before you know it years of your life have completely vanished and you have absolutely nothing to show for it 

It's a very dangerous very stupid habit that is cemented by greed and materialism 

i have battled it for nearly 10 years with varying degrees of success but now i am not going back to that lifestyle

it's too destructive and costs far too much time 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 7th August 2021 12:25 pm
bdog
 bdog
(@bdog)

Hi,

I’m 953 days gamble free today and only ever come here when I’m triggered now. About 5 mins ago I started looking at the odds for the new footie season and had to remind myself of why I quit.

For me, exercise and setting mini challenges has been really helpful. I started weight training again and I started walking. I also got into audio books whilst doing both which has been a brilliant distraction, whether it’s a self help book, learning something bee or a good old fashioned whodunnit!

Everything above would’ve sounded boring to me a few years back, but now it’s quite exciting and I feel less stressed & in control. I have more spare money, I eat better, I drink less... I look better and I feel better. 

filling the void is hard, but mini challenges and visible progress (body shape, fitness levels, mood, finances, general outlook on life) really help. No magic wand, but loads on here who prove that the hard work pays dividends. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 7th August 2021 1:56 pm
J.D
 J.D
(@j-d)

To each and every one of you that replied to my post here, I want to say thank you very much.  All your thoughts and comments are really insightful and most helpful. They provide a lot of ideas and food for thought for me.

Many thanks to you all.

JD

This post was modified 2 months ago by J.D
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Posted : 7th August 2021 11:49 pm
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