I have been a compulsive gambler for the last 10 odd years, I'm 25 next week and I am a former professional footballer. I'm not going to go in about how it started or what I've lost because it doesn't really matter.
I have f****d my life up so so many times, gambling my full wage and money i owe out then barrow in and gambling it, raising money gambling it. You name it I would have got the money and gambled it. Insane, Especially that I know I can't win because even when I do win I keep going until I lose.
I have been to GA on 2 separate occasions for a number of months and I didn't feel they helped me at all yes I stayed off gambling but the meetings weren't doing much for me.
I have found myself in some bad ways and my gambling has dragged me into a dark hole of depression and that led to me becoming a drug addict and looking at a prison sentence. I got of all drugs and am now clean for 19 months. I was on some heavy drugs and was able to stop but I feel I don't have a chance at this gambling.
Right now I have gambled every penny I had, barrowed of someone to win my money back and lost it so barrowed of a different friend lost it and barrowed again of a different friend. I am finding myself crying myself to sleep almost every night after I lose and promising that's it nomore then when morning comes it's on to the next hunt for money.
I have had enough now I have absolutely no doubt in my head if I don't stop gambling it is going to drive me to suicide. I struggled with suicidal thoughts and self harm in the past and attended counselling for years but have turned my life around and I am living alot happier since I got off the drugs and changed my mentality but I can't beat this addiction.
The last time I stopped i let someone look after my money and I got rid of my Internet phone. The problem I have now is that I feel I need the Internet for help and support like this and I need it to facetime my 5 year old daughter.
I hope I can turn this around not tomorrow not next week but from now.
I hope everyone is keeping safe in these crazy times.
Sorry to hear about your struggles. Gamstop is a good place to start to block your urges. You said something interesting. You had gotten into drugs but quit but you have no idea on how to quit gambling. I would change that to you decided to quit drugs and did. Have you decided to quit gambling? Drugs can get you out of bed at night because your body needs to get that fix but have you gotten out of bed and sleep because you need to gamble? No. Gambling can be beaten but it is much to do with attitude, self-labelling etc. If you go around and say oh I am a hopeless gambler and I am bound to fail, well guess what you will. If you start to work on that self-confidence that you can succeed well guess what. You will. You need to change your state. Gambling addiction is like being in a trance. Once you knock yourself into another state you look back and wonder what the whole thing was all about. It can be done but it demands work. Work with yourself. A plan. No ship sails without a captain or crew. And you need to make a decision about what you aim to do.
You are in the right place and admin will be along soon to give you some more info. Start your diary. Get some contacts who can support you.
All the best.
I have just joined today after facing I have a problem and so much of what you have said has rung true to me. I borrowed from loan companies and credit cards just to have the money to gamble and like you I won then flittered it all away again, just kept thinking to myself “I’ve won if before I will do it again” but of course I didn’t and now I’m facing losing my car as I’ve gambled away the money I had to pay the finance and insurance for it. I just get myself deeper into it.
I’m hoping that this and Gamstop can help me (and you) get back on track. If I don’t do it now I face losing my daughter and husband and that just kills me.
Take care and stay safe.