Hi all.
Just logged in after a long while. 633 days today and I couldn't be more proud of myself.
Anyway, I just wanted to wish everybody well and hope that in these extremely challenging times everybody can find some solace and support here.
We all need each other more than ever.
Stay safe everybody and good luck wherever you are on the journey to being gamble free
Matt
Great job, Matt. Hope you are holding up during these very strange times.
I'm coming up on 2 years in May. Also very proud of myself but always on guard too. Found the lockdown difficult like most people but mostly because getting out of the house (where I gambled constantly) is the one thing that helps me stay focused and where I practice Mindfulness, being out in nature, on long walks and treks in the forest. Nowhere is near enough to walk to so that means I am stuck in an urban area and to be honest, part of the reason I gambled so much before was to try to get away from this place, so I certainly don't want to walk these streets. I need green open spaces to feel good.
Had a bit of a wobble today. Didn't gamble, but felt myself 'responding' to gambling ads on my laptop. I normally just ignore them, you get so used to always seeing ads these days, but today was different. I felt the urge and the rush of excitement and acknowledged it was happening. It's probably because of the stress lately. It has not been easy for anyone lately and I work from home but it has been slow. I still owe a lot of debt due to gambling and when work is slow, my mind wanders to quick fixes which simply don't exist. I am able to deal with the urges because after this length of time, the impulse has gone, but the occasional curiosity still remains.
I have to remind myself that it is normal to still want to bet. I am still an addict, even though I am not gambling any more. It's what I trained myself to do over the last 2 decades and I guess that's not going away any time soon.
633 days is fantastic. You deserve to be proud of yourself. I can only imagine the stuff you have got done while you have not been gambling. Me too. I got my life back, I got my hobbies and interests back and I got my sense of self back. Sure, I still struggle from time to time, because I am still the same person that found myself gambling my life away and all those problems that led me to gamble are still there. I struggle with my mental health and have OCD but I am dealing with my problems now, rather than just burying them in a machine. I am also on medication now which is helping with the depression.
Hopefully soon, this whole situation will get better and we can get a bit of normality back. I only ever gambled in the house online, so for me, my home is not a safe place, but a place of so many painful memories. I am finding it a bit rough being cooped up but happy that I am in the position I am in now, rather than how this would have felt if I was still gambling. It is much better to be a cooped up non gambler than someone cooped up and spinning wheels all day and imagine all that stress and mental strain on top of what is happening right now. I just don't want that in my life anymore. I don't think I could take it. I have had heart problems since gambling and get anxiety ectopics that can last for hours. In a way, it has frightened me into stopping and now I look after my health and have lost a lot of weight with all my walking and eating well.
I can certainly understand that a lot of people are at risk during this lockdown situation and the way that gambling might look like a bit of a money maker for those that are struggling for cash. I am disgusted that the Industry have targeted people during this time to try to recruit more online gamblers to make up for the lack of Sports bets. I really wish they would do more to prevent the rise in gambling. This is hardly the time to get more and more people hooked, not that there's ever a good time, but this is a time where mental health is at an all time low, and where people have already lost a lot of their income security so for me, to up the adverts now and tell people that everyone is doing it, is just out of order.
I really hope that we all get through this difficult time and remain focused on being a non gambler.
All the best, nice talking to you Matt and to everyone.
Hi all.
Just logged in after a long while. 633 days today and I couldn't be more proud of myself.
Anyway, I just wanted to wish everybody well and hope that in these extremely challenging times everybody can find some solace and support here.
We all need each other more than ever.
Stay safe everybody and good luck wherever you are on the journey to being gamble free
Matt
Well-done staying gambling free !
Great job, Matt. Hope you are holding up during these very strange times.
I'm coming up on 2 years in May. Also very proud of myself but always on guard too. Found the lockdown difficult like most people but mostly because getting out of the house (where I gambled constantly) is the one thing that helps me stay focused and where I practice Mindfulness, being out in nature, on long walks and treks in the forest. Nowhere is near enough to walk to so that means I am stuck in an urban area and to be honest, part of the reason I gambled so much before was to try to get away from this place, so I certainly don't want to walk these streets. I need green open spaces to feel good.
Had a bit of a wobble today. Didn't gamble, but felt myself 'responding' to gambling ads on my laptop. I normally just ignore them, you get so used to always seeing ads these days, but today was different. I felt the urge and the rush of excitement and acknowledged it was happening. It's probably because of the stress lately. It has not been easy for anyone lately and I work from home but it has been slow. I still owe a lot of debt due to gambling and when work is slow, my mind wanders to quick fixes which simply don't exist. I am able to deal with the urges because after this length of time, the impulse has gone, but the occasional curiosity still remains.
I have to remind myself that it is normal to still want to bet. I am still an addict, even though I am not gambling any more. It's what I trained myself to do over the last 2 decades and I guess that's not going away any time soon.
633 days is fantastic. You deserve to be proud of yourself. I can only imagine the stuff you have got done while you have not been gambling. Me too. I got my life back, I got my hobbies and interests back and I got my sense of self back. Sure, I still struggle from time to time, because I am still the same person that found myself gambling my life away and all those problems that led me to gamble are still there. I struggle with my mental health and have OCD but I am dealing with my problems now, rather than just burying them in a machine. I am also on medication now which is helping with the depression.
Hopefully soon, this whole situation will get better and we can get a bit of normality back. I only ever gambled in the house online, so for me, my home is not a safe place, but a place of so many painful memories. I am finding it a bit rough being cooped up but happy that I am in the position I am in now, rather than how this would have felt if I was still gambling. It is much better to be a cooped up non gambler than someone cooped up and spinning wheels all day and imagine all that stress and mental strain on top of what is happening right now. I just don't want that in my life anymore. I don't think I could take it. I have had heart problems since gambling and get anxiety ectopics that can last for hours. In a way, it has frightened me into stopping and now I look after my health and have lost a lot of weight with all my walking and eating well.
I can certainly understand that a lot of people are at risk during this lockdown situation and the way that gambling might look like a bit of a money maker for those that are struggling for cash. I am disgusted that the Industry have targeted people during this time to try to recruit more online gamblers to make up for the lack of Sports bets. I really wish they would do more to prevent the rise in gambling. This is hardly the time to get more and more people hooked, not that there's ever a good time, but this is a time where mental health is at an all time low, and where people have already lost a lot of their income security so for me, to up the adverts now and tell people that everyone is doing it, is just out of order.
I really hope that we all get through this difficult time and remain focused on being a non gambler.
All the best, nice talking to you Matt and to everyone.
I very much relate to this! I'm 680 gf and still find myself struggling at times!
Donna
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