Hi all, won’t bore with a lot of details but here we are again…
Previous posts by me haven’t been stuck to and have found myself gambling pretty heavily. Life hasn’t been easy lately, but guess it isn’t for anyone.
There’s been a few other things going on in my life apart from gambling, last year I tried to stop smoking cigarettes and cannabis, the withdrawal and changes were that extreme, (unbelievably terrible) I had to take a good amount of time off employment.
This lead to pretty mundane experiencing while recovering, which lead to evening online gambling consistently, can’t say I lost too much at that time but overall, I am down. Unbelievably down.
However - things improved, the withdrawal eventually worn off and I returned to employment, freshly. Ready to go again.
Still continued to gamble. Bigger amounts. Bigger wins and losses. Didn’t really feel like a problem, was getting to feel when to stop and to just enjoy it, being aware of the risks.
However, as you can probably tell from the above, things took a turn for the worse.
A few weeks ago, I lost a friend in a car accident, I can’t say we were really close or best friends but it was an honest and genuine friend.
Ever since, whatever money I’ve had saved or in my current account has been deposited and launched at the casinos in the hopes that something big will win for me, easing the ache of all the money I’ve lost over time and raise the spirit.
I’ve pretty much lost wage after wage. The strange thing is, I don’t really care. Obviously there’s worries here and there and I’d like to improve and be a better person, but I haven’t lost any sleep over it.
It all feels incredibly destructive and dangerous. Is this denial or in-acceptance? I dunno w*f has happened to me but tonight, I feel within that I shouldn’t gamble anymore for a long time or, maybe ever again. I’m actually pretty okay when I’m not gambling, but as soon as I start I find it VERY hard to stop. I’m a highly competitive optimistic, not a good trait to have with gambling.
I spend a lot of time watching online gambling on YouTube and to be honest life without gambling, seems very boring. I just don’t know where to start. Feels like it’s took over some of my life. I have lots of other hobbies/dreams/goals but gambling was also my little cherry on top, which looks to be out of control. Perhaps this habit has been used as a coping mechanism. I’ve self-excluded too, to try help things.
Any advice or suggestions, comments appreciated. Thanks for reading.
Hey,
After seeing your post it resonated with me and thought I’d share some of my past gambling experiences.
For me it started on a lads holiday in my early 20’s, prior to this I never stepped foot in a casino, bookies or even bought a lottery ticket. The person who introduced my friends to a casino turned out to be a compulsive gambler (which we didn’t understand at the time).
The worse thing happened is we actually won a couple hundred quid which paid for the remaining 4 days of the trip and from the point we started going to the casino (Cas as we liked to call it) before going on a night out.
Eventually I started going by myself I felt by having friends with you they were a distraction on the strategy of winning.
long story short, some medium wins were made, followed by massive losses. I tried everything I could to get even which was wages, borrowing and like most gamblers I found myself in a 5 figure debt.
At the time it feels like gambling is the only thing that can cover that sort of debt, At the start it’s quite exciting your in a sort of amusement venue, no clocks, drinks being brought over by pretty waitresses, easy to loose track of time, I loved the buzz.
The longer your in there when people start recognising you and you start becoming aware of the demographics you start to look at it abit differently. I’ve so many people over this period from lads trying to let off steam to others spending their bus fair on a quick Buz.
Despite having a “good” job I couldn’t maintain the Cas lifestyle and wound up in the bookies which always felt like a sad place to me. I became a regular and as with the above lost a lot of time & £.
it’s been about 8 years since I’ve been gambling and my accolades are 5 figure debt, failed relationship with my sons mother, isolated myself from good friends, distrust from my family and my current relationship is on the ropes as I keep saying I’ll change but up to this point I haven’t.
Fortunately I’m still young.Don’t be like me there’s more to life than the chase. #imdone
@a19884 Thanks so much for sharing bro. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one out there that’s in the loop ?
As long as you look after yourself and pay the bills, food and the essentials etc the rest doesn’t really matter. I’m lucky as I haven’t gotten myself into debt, I’m 24, still live at home with a fairly decent job in a fairly small sized flat with my mum and stepdad, so I can afford a good punt.
Just feel like I should try control it all a bit better. Maybe take breaks and save up some money to play with. Tbh I can’t see myself being completely gamble free forever but maybe I can be more disciplined.
I’d be so happy if I can just not go crazy, so that’s what I’m hoping happens.
I’m defo going to chase less and be smarter about it, maybe get some nice profit but it’s a lot of b******t sometimes with the luck aspect but I’ve also had some amazing streaks and wins it’s more so knowing when to walk away, stop and take breaks, all the best to you my friend!
does sound like you have a problem.... and my innitial thing which took three years on here of losing more time and money was to try and control my gambling.....
In the end i realised the reality was that i couldnt control it....
I realised a new healthy lifestyle away from vices...... im now 840 days free from all vices.
Good luck ill keep reading your progress adam xx
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