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slowlearner
(@slowlearner)

Looking back the compulsion to gamble started at an early age. I remember playing cards for money aged 13 or 14 then i left school started earning money and developed an interest in horse racing and football betting. Aged 26 i was manager of a shop and put the shop takings on a certanty that got beat. This resulted in the sack and prosecution.

Even then i can honestly say it never occured to me i had a gambling problem. 37 years have passed since then and its taken me this long to finally admit im a CG. In 2006 i doscevered online gambling and fromthen things went down hill rapidly. I lied about losses to my family and did everything i could to conceal how bad my compulsion was.

Online gambling for me was pure bliss debit card laptop or mobile phone i could gamble day and night and my money would disappear rapidly. Then i took out a credit card then another then another. As crazy as it may seem this never felt like spending money because i couldnt actually see the cash leaving my wallet. All my life id paid my way whenever taking credit of any kind. So because of my good credit rating i found it easy to obtain loans and credit cards for which today im paying the price.

Of course i regret the financial side of gambling but the years of lies and deceit hurt me much more. The fact i was never interested in a day of fun with my children or grand children when there was a big race meeting on TV. Things got so bad i feel ive lost the basic skill of inter action with family and friends.

When the bookmakers and exchanges gave me a thrashing i would continue gambling til the early hours on american football and horse racing desperately trying to win back what id lost earlier in the day. My wife is younger than me and still works.My gambling has taken every penny shed saved for her retirement constantly bailing me out of trouble.

This post isnt a cry for help i deserve no ones sympathy i brought it all on myself. I do this to tell all you young CGs out there to seek help now and dont leave it til your my age and if anyone still gambling thinks things cant get any worse trust me it will.

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Posted : 25th October 2018 3:53 pm
Merry go round
(@merry-go-round)

I'm surprised no one has responded to this post. The person who needs help is your wife. Gambling not only affects the gambler but also anyone connected with them. Your wife has enabled your gambling by sharing your debt. She's still working because of your choice to gamble. You are not an example of how gambling ruins your life. You have chosen this and chosen not to seek help. You have continued to take advantage of your wife's inability to see that her behaviour has let you continue.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 26th October 2018 9:46 am
slowlearner
(@slowlearner)

Hi Merry go round youre right my gambling has affected and damaged my wife. My wife was kind enough to help me on the back of broken promises that i would stop. Make no mistake im on my last chance now and i am fully aware of the hurt and pain ive caused my wife and family. Unfortunately i cant change the past but i can change the future by stopping gambling.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 26th October 2018 2:14 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Hello alwalm

Thank you for posting. It can't have been easy writing about the hurt caused by your gambling. It's good that you are now tackling your gambling and are having treatment. I'm also wondering if you're taking any practical steps to make it harder for you to gamble? There's lots of ideas in the 'What can you do?' section of our website.

If you want to talk any of this over in between treatment sessions, the HelpLine and NetLine are there for you, 8am til midnight every day. Details are at the top of this page and every page of our website.

Merry go round is right to say that your wife may need help for herself too. This helpline, and our treatment services are available for her, and there is also an organisation called GamAnon who provide support groups for families and friends of gamblers.

Keep posting,

Deirdre
Forum Admin

ReplyQuote
Posted : 27th October 2018 12:03 pm
slowlearner
(@slowlearner)

Hi Diedre,

Thank you for your comments and i would like to point out as well as using the chatline i have done exclusion from both betting shops and online gambling sites and i am 78 days GF at the moment. I have made my wife aware of the support available.

Further to Merrygorounds comments deciding my wife who is almost 10 years younger than me is still working because of my gambling can i just say my wife is a professional who has been in a job she loves for 20 years and doesnt really relish the thought of retirement. Whilst offering constructive advice and CGs offering each other support i think its equally important not to make assumptions..A CGs wife or partner is a victim not a facilitator.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 27th October 2018 4:48 pm
adam123
(@adam123)

Sign up to gamstop. Good luck adam

​

ReplyQuote
Posted : 28th October 2018 11:43 am
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Hi alwalm

Just want to thank you for posting and assure you that you are making progress. Keep posting,

Deirdre
Forum Admin

ReplyQuote
Posted : 28th October 2018 12:05 pm
alkib22
(@alkib22)

New to all this .can you help me plz is gamstop a scam they want to send a copy of my driving licence and bills as proof of who I am . I rang the 0800 number but I was hanging on 2 mins .

ReplyQuote
Posted : 28th October 2018 1:09 pm
BladesFan
(@bladesfan)

You’re a brave person to say what you’ve said. I hope this doesn’t course offence but you’re story is one reason I want to stop. I’m not in debt on credit cards due to gambling but I feel I could go that way so I’ve stopped.

I can feel myself change in my mindset exactly how you’ve described towards my kids and family so want to stop.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 28th October 2018 1:51 pm
slowlearner
(@slowlearner)

Im not offended at all BladesFan and the reason i posted was to prevent others getting into the same mess i created. Best wishes and i wish you every success recovering and being free from this cancer we call compulsive gambling.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 28th October 2018 8:22 pm
slowlearner
(@slowlearner)

Hi alkib22 if you want to do voluntary exclusion you do have to send proof of ID and address. Obviously i cant speak for anyone else but for me personaly it was the best thing i ever did. Following my 1st counselling session i had to do the same thing to be excluded from betting shops.I live in a small mining village where everyone knows everyone and at first the thought of local betting shops having my photograph and knowing i was a CG horrified me but now its done i not only feel happier in myself but feel its another nail in the coffin of my addiction. Good luck in your recovery.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 28th October 2018 11:20 pm
slowlearner
(@slowlearner)

alwalm wrote:

Hi Diedre,

Thank you for your comments and i would like to point out as well as using the chatline i have done exclusion from both betting shops and online gambling sites and i am 78 days GF at the moment. I have made my wife aware of the support available.

Further to Merrygorounds comments deciding my wife who is almost 10 years younger than me is still working because of my gambling can i just say my wife is a professional who has been in a job she loves for 20 years and doesnt really relish the thought of retirement. Whilst offering constructive advice and CGs offering each other support i think its also important not to make assumptions. A gamblers wife or partner is a victim not a facilitator.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 29th October 2018 12:02 am
alkib22
(@alkib22)

thanks for the help I need get off these online sites .

ReplyQuote
Posted : 30th October 2018 4:34 pm
Sarahs16
(@sarahs16)

Hi al, I just wanted to say thank you for the advice and support you have given me since I joined this site.

You are 81 days gf today - for that you should be extremely proud of what you have achieved.

Sarah

ReplyQuote
Posted : 30th October 2018 9:08 pm
slowlearner
(@slowlearner)

Thank you Sarah for your kindness and support it means so much to me. Having spoken to you on the chatline youre doing well yourself and seeing your progress gives me inspiration and strength.

Kind Regards

AL

ReplyQuote
Posted : 31st October 2018 4:32 pm
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