Hi,
I would like to get some people's advice if possible. I am 18 months into my recovery and I attend GA on a regular basis. Over the last 18 months I have really knuckled down in my recovery. I have first and foremost not spent a cent on gambling over this period. I have closed down my online accounts and given full control of finances to my partner . In terms of triggers, I have stopped watching horse racing which would have been my biggest "vice" and I have limited my watching of other sports and being particularly mindful if any watching of sport has triggered any "urges" where upon I would take a break from watching that particular sport.
To use a GA phrase I have very much "kept it in the day" in terms of my handling of my own recovery. However in the last 2-3 weeks I have somewhat strayed from the above mantra of "1 day at a time" and I have very much become aware of the "this is for the rest of your life" situation. This has caused me a bit of stress. I'm not sure if it is the third wave of the pandemic and the feeling of isolation and a sense of foreboding of when things will go back to "normal" or not, but that is just how I feel at the minute. Obviously it is very hard to visualise yourself doing anything (or not doing something again) for the rest of your life. I just wanted to get people's advice/opinions on this matter. How/what do other people in recovery do when their thoughts stray to a "this is forever" mindset rather than a "one day at a time" one. Is there anything in particular that someone does? I'm sure most responses will be around focusing on what you have, meditation etc and I would just like a bit of feedback if that was ok.
Cheers,
Happy
Hi happy, I know exactly what you mean, my gambling history started when I went to bingo with my mates I didn't view it as gambling. I enjoyed it we had a laugh a meal , drinks sometimes we won often we didnt. It progressed from there I started going alone if they couldn't come, I suppose looking back that was when it turned to gambling as during breaks I would be on the slots eventually that progressed to online gambling and that lead to the really destructive stuff. What struck me with your post is.,during my now 8months gamble free I feel addiction is for life and I will always keep online firmly blocked and my husband in control of finances. I often flirt with the scenario that one day in the future I could go to bingo again with my mates have fun and if my husband only gave me say £40 as I have no access myself to finances that's all I could spend !!!!........it never can happen, it would awake the demon in me that I have spent months carefully pushing away, how long before I would start lying and cheating again to get more money?? When I feel like that now I read my first posts as a reminder how bad I felt, I visualise my husband's face when he found out and his words, and most of all I remember my promise to my then 15yr old son.....the thoughts go away more easily. This is what works for me. Happy....truly has to be ...today I will not gamble. Take care you're doing great
@happy123 AS a fellow Ga member, I find that reading the Orange book helps. It's full of great information and reminders of how to live and get through this. It sounds like a little doubt has crept in, but you have done the right thing and talked about it.
There are two parts of the book I would point you towards.The first is page 18 and step one of the recovery programme.
We admitted we were powerless over gambling that our lives had become unmanageable.
If you can admit this first step, why would you ever want to place another bet ever again? If you do, life becomes unmanageable again.
Secondly on page 23, the first just for today.
Just for today I will try to live through this day only and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for 12 hours that would appal me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
Whenever that not betting for ever thought enters my mind, which it does from time to time, I just remember this little just for today. It even says it would appal me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime, so I don't think of it in that way. I'll just get through today, these 12 hours.
This feeling will pass, and just think about all you have achieved just by not betting. Share the same thing in your next meeting and leave it in the room. It will help. I hope this helps you a little too.
Chris.
Hi there im Craig and i gambled from i was 12 years old for 14 years until i was 26 and developed an addiction from the age of 13/14. I know exactly what its like to feel like your addiction will go on for the rest off your life and to think can i really not gamble for the rest of my life. What really helped me was reading Allen Carr easy way to stop gambling (you can download it to your phone in the app store) It will open your mind to what the gambling industry is all about and how it only brainwashes people and that it is purely designed to rob people off their money. Reading the book helped me to see this and also helped me to look at gambling addiction in general from a different perspective and to not just think about my own problem. If you can train your mind into truely believing that nothing good has ever came from gambling for you then you should be able to do well and it wont be such a struggle to not do it. You're only telling the truth to yourself here as i certainly know that gambling has only ever impacted me negatively, caused addiction and everything that comes with that and 14 years down the line i had absolutely nothing to show for my addicition. I actually really enjoy not gambling and feel like i achieve something every day that passes. For me i would never want to go back to day 0 off not gambling and this is what keeps me going. Its all about coming to the realisation that gambling is nothing but evil and destroys lifes. Why would you ever want that to be a part off you again? If you can train your mind into this way off thinking then you will do very well.
Hope this helps mate and all the best in the future.
Thanks all for your comments. They were all very helpful. As mentioned above, I think it's important to find that "reason" to keep focussing on why you are heading down the path you are on. I think that's different for everyone. It could be a fear factor for some where they might be risking losing their family if they were to go back. Other people can put a more positive spin on things and think of all the wonderful things awaiting them in the future if they continue on this path.
For me it's a combination of the two I think and I think there's going to be plenty of times when I feel like I was today and I just need to find that place in me which keeps me in the day and keeps me striving for 24 more hours of a day without gambling. I wish everyone well with their own battles.
Cheers,
Happy
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