As per the topic, I'm approaching the 200-day milestone and it got me thinking about where I am today and where I've come from.
Back in August I couldn't see a future without horse racing in some shape or form. I desperately clung to the notion that now I'd been found out I'd be good and over time I could be trusted to control myself. I look back now ruefully at my state of mind, but also thankful that with the help of various people on this forum I made my way out of the fog. Someone called gambling addiction being in a fog once, I've not heard a better description since.
November 5th is actually just as an important date for me as that was the last date I looked at the results. For a few months since stopping I felt compelled to stay in touch with racing - I can honestly say I wasn't tempting myself to bet, but it was like I couldn't let go of the last ten years or so. All that time, effort and knowledge.
At the start of this year I considered catching up with results and news - it had been a while and I felt completely out of the loop. But gladly I didn't, and through either luck or judgement I now don't need to look. I've moved on.
It felt like breaking up with someone and then still seeing what they were up to on social media. But now I don't need to know what's going on as that's not my life and my direction. I don't need the status updates.
To all the newbies out there - this takes time to beat and you do need a degree of luck. Thinking back I can tie so much of this back to bouts of depression I dealt with earlier in my life. I'm lucky nothing bad went wrong that made me spiral.
I can honestly say now, 197 days in, that horse racing and gambling can go screw itself. It took so much from me, but I feel I'm more me now. I've wrestled back some of myself, and I'm not letting go.
I've moved on. I hope that it's forever, I really feel it is now.
Take care everyone. And if anyone is reading this that is still gambling, please stop. I'm proof it is possible, and the grass is most definitely greener.
SJC
This is a great read. I hope I find myself in this place. Some day.
That's fantastic, well done!
I'm 11 days GF so still at the beginning of my journey but I will get there! Good to hear from people further along the recovery.
Great to hear a success story ? Well done ?
Great success story and keep it up. Drives me on hearing the success
As per the topic, I'm approaching the 200-day milestone and it got me thinking about where I am today and where I've come from.
Back in August I couldn't see a future without horse racing in some shape or form. I desperately clung to the notion that now I'd been found out I'd be good and over time I could be trusted to control myself. I look back now ruefully at my state of mind, but also thankful that with the help of various people on this forum I made my way out of the fog. Someone called gambling addiction being in a fog once, I've not heard a better description since.
November 5th is actually just as an important date for me as that was the last date I looked at the results. For a few months since stopping I felt compelled to stay in touch with racing - I can honestly say I wasn't tempting myself to bet, but it was like I couldn't let go of the last ten years or so. All that time, effort and knowledge.
At the start of this year I considered catching up with results and news - it had been a while and I felt completely out of the loop. But gladly I didn't, and through either luck or judgement I now don't need to look. I've moved on.
It felt like breaking up with someone and then still seeing what they were up to on social media. But now I don't need to know what's going on as that's not my life and my direction. I don't need the status updates.
To all the newbies out there - this takes time to beat and you do need a degree of luck. Thinking back I can tie so much of this back to bouts of depression I dealt with earlier in my life. I'm lucky nothing bad went wrong that made me spiral.
I can honestly say now, 197 days in, that horse racing and gambling can go screw itself. It took so much from me, but I feel I'm more me now. I've wrestled back some of myself, and I'm not letting go.
I've moved on. I hope that it's forever, I really feel it is now.
Take care everyone. And if anyone is reading this that is still gambling, please stop. I'm proof it is possible, and the grass is most definitely greener.
SJC
You badass! I’m 106 days in and I look back with a similar thinking to you probably every single day. More of me is showing than ever before and whilst I have a while to go until I feel as real as you about it, I am completely seeing the light. Good on you and wish you all the best in your life after gambling.
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