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18 years old and lost it all.  



I turned 18 in October and thought that betting would’ve been a fun little thing to do on the side seeing as I get a load of adverts on Facebook about it.

The sudden rush of adrenaline when you win is a surge for me to go for more and go for more until I reach a total that I’m happy with which I’ve done a fair few times but an hour ago I threw £660 away on blackjack just cause I started to lose a couple of quid and my mindset was that I need to earn it back but now I’ve gone into this state which is embarrassing and heartbreaking in all honesty. I’ve had suicidal thoughts, I’ve been trying to phone the Samaritans for 30 minutes but I got fed up not having anyone answering. I’m in one of the lowest states of mind ever at the moment and I need a reality check. I’ve applied for GamStop and I’ve excluded myself for 5 years as of today and now here’s to a gambling free life here on now hopefully.

Posted : 29th July 2020 2:27 am
Forum admin

Dear @samgrev,

I am so sorry to hear how low the losses are making you feeling suicidal. Unfortunately the highs and lows with gambling are really high and really low. I just want you to know you are not alone we are here to support you.

I am hoping you will see this post and call us immediately, the service is open 24/7 and you call us on 0808 8020 133 or you can also call our live one-to-one chat here:

You are not alone, this will pass, I am glad you have posted and reached out.

Hoping to speak to you soon.

Wishing you all the very best,


Forum Admin



Posted : 29th July 2020 2:36 am

Hi Sam. I'm hoping that you reached out to someone and had a good talk and got some help. Sam thinking about suicide is your reality check get help now and this period you're going through can be not forgotten but put behind you. There's a big difference between the two ,putting this behind you and accepting that the money is gone will help you move forward and get help to stay moving forward. Just trying to forget about it will put you at risk of doing it again so choose option one get help. Your 18 you have a long life ahead of you make it a happy one. This forum is really good you've reached out once and posted which takes courage it's really helped me Sam coming on here. Take care of yourself and come here again let us help you .

Posted : 29th July 2020 8:12 am

Hi @samgrev, I totally agree with @charlieboy your reality check is suicidal thoughts! 100%! It is fantastic that you’ve realised that you need to stop the gambling before it gets any worse than what you’ve lost already! It is also fantastic that you’ve put self exclusions in place! 
I think the fact that you’ve realised you needed to self exclude and reach out is so positive because as a 34 year old mum of two it took me nearly 4 years to realise that my gambling was out of control and very destructive to my relationships with my partner,kids and loved ones and to myself both physically and mentally! 
The fact that you’ve seen this now is probably a good sign that you’ve not been completely consumed by the addiction because you have seen that this behaviour is becoming serious and you’ve stopped doing it! 
(I’m not trying to say your addiction isn’t valid or anything! Just pointing out that it’s a good thing you’ve recognised the path you were on!)

it will be tough because, unfortunately the adverts, emails you’ll get are all around all the time! I would say that if you have someone you trust then maybe it might be worth telling them about what’s happened and letting them support you, mum/dad, a friend or sibling? If there is someone you can trust maybe let them help with finances as having access to money can be a trigger for urges to gamble. Maybe if they kept an eye on your bank account for the time being so you know someone is checking, it may help you stop yourself if you get an urge. 
lastly please do not sit and think you are alone or you are a bad person! You’ve made a mistake, you are young and have a whole life in front of you! Gambling does not define who you are! It’s a little blip along the road, I hope you feel better as the days past! Wishing you all the best,

jadie x

Posted : 29th July 2020 8:41 am

Hi mate, Sorry to hear your story. I’m 19 and have a similar story to you. Started a couple of years ago started fun but turned into a problem very quickly. Since early March when lockdown started I have lost close to £10,000. It’s disgusting for me to even write it down to be honest. It’s very tough to stop even with gamstop in place. If you need anybody to talk to who’s been in a similar situation to you feel free to reach out it may do us both some good. 

Posted : 30th July 2020 1:32 am


You've had the alcohol equivalent of your first hangover it's not pleasant but it's certainly not worth doing anything to yourself over. 

The money can be earned back, you put the block in place, keep it as a bad memory and move on with your life.

Try and look at it as simple as that.


Posted : 30th July 2020 9:48 am

Thank you so much to everyone who has reached out. Means the world to me, I appreciate all the advice and I’ve not thought about gambling again since. I hope you all the best in life and together we can all stop this bloody gambling from destroying our lives. 
Stay safe, 


Posted : 30th July 2020 11:00 am

Hi Sam nice to hear from you and I'm glad that you've turned a corner. Keep the blocks and put it down to , " a something you did when you were 18 ! "  If you get any temptation read some stories on here get a snapshot of the future as a compulsive gambler and how hard it's been for us to stop. Use it as " o*g I'm not going there " best wishes to you Sam let us know how you're doing.

Posted : 30th July 2020 11:44 am
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