Hi guys,my name's lee I'm 37 and this is my first post,iv been gambling pretty much since I was 16 and now am really determined to stop,I play the roulette machines and have easily lost 100k over the years.
I would go through spells of winning every day for weeks and iv had a couple of those spells already this year but once I have a day where I would lose it seems to be I will continue to lose until it's all gone,I had this last month where I had roughly 1500 on the Monday but by the Tuesday afternoon it was all gone.
I live alone with my 9 year old daughter who is severely disabled and though I never gamble her money and she doesn't go without I'm leaving myself with barely anything when I should and could be saving hundreds every month.
I thought with the new regulations on fobts starting in April that it would be harder to lose so much but if anything it makes it even easier to lose so much with the loophole they have made on the machine where you have to gamble to even spin the roulette it can still take hundreds off you in minutes.
I can go into a bookies with 10 pound and tell myself I will just get that then walk out but it never happens that way cos once I lose that 10 I want it back and will use my card putting money in and the next thing I know Iv lost 500 in minutes.
It's been 3 weeks now since iv had a bet but that's only because my daughter was off school for 2 weeks and I couldn't get out but she was back in school last week and I managed to stay out of a bookies all week so I'm hoping that I can continue to stay away.
I haven't told anyone about these issues as I feel too ashamed but it feels good to be able to write it down like this,good luck guys.
Hi my name is Tony it was my first post yesterday like you I'm trying to stop I've gambled away over 20 grand on online roulette yes i can win big aswell but then lose the lot. But that's it for me I'm going to stop try to be strong and lets beat it good luck
Hi Lee, it was probably a good thing your daughter was off school. This also helped me stop gambling for a while. You've gone 3 weeks so far without gambling and that's really good! Just try and keep building on top of that. Goodluck and hope to hear from you soon.
Richard
Hi lee.
my first post was Friday and like you, over years I have wasted thousands. While you are in the right head space could you ask your local bookies to ban you? There are other bans you can put in place. Just if you feel a relapse coming on it makes it an extra hurdle to try and make us think twice. I have signed up with gamstop for 5 years to help stop online gambling on slots.
I wish you luck and I am setting daily goals with a view of clearing debt by certain points. If you are lucky enough to be debt free, perhaps your goals can be buying things for you and your daughter? One day at a time for me at the moment. ?
Hi Sarah thanks for the message,I just read your post and your story sounds a lot like mine,iv been in debt pretty much since the age of 18 and in my mid 20s had about 25k of debts on credit cards and loans brought about by gambling,I did an iva and cleared them eventually.
I have a couple of loans now but only about 4k worth but cos my credits so bad it's with payday loan companies with terrible interest,I'm overpaying these loans currently so hoping to clear them in the next year.
Thanks for the advice about banning myself from the bookies,my biggest problem was there's a bookies literally across the road from me that I do most of my gambling in so iv been in there this morning and banned myself so I feel that is a major thing to have done.
Good luck with everything and hope to speak to you soon
Hi lee
that is amazing Lee. Well done. I think that’s a huge step and I hope they made it easy and painless for you. I have had payday loans and the interest is bad so overpay as much as you can and as quick as you can and you will save so much in interest.
I would encourage even if you have a spare tenner, pay it off your loan. Save loads in interest and remove temptation. So proud you did that at your bookies. Really good, really brave and completely sensible.
Well done lee. Hope you are having a good day ?
Hi Sarah,thank you,yeah they were really good about it just made me fill in a little form and that was it really,I was thinking things like if it was different staff how would they know I'm banned but I'm quite a shy person anyway so I would be too embarrassed to go back in there now anyway after telling them I had lost so much.
Yeah the pay day loans are terrible i have 3 of them but have nearly paid one off so will just work at them 1 at a time with the overpaying.
Yeah my days been ok,as I'm a full time carer to my daughter I can't work so while she's in school that's when I would usually go the bookies but it's been ok up to now and I haven't had any real urges.
How are you finding things so far
I am ok. I worked today so that is a good distraction. I think you have done really well in going there today and I am sure all staff will know, but as you say like you I would not want to go back.
while your daughter is at school it’s about filling the time productively I guess. Easier said than done but you can do it. It’s so great you have nearly cleared one. As soon as it’s done get the money you would have spent on there spend on another. I finish a loan payment on July 1st. I have been sad and done a spreadsheet and put that loan payment from August against highest credit card rate.
Still think its it’s going to take me 2 years to clear all debt so I want to stay clean. Debt free by 45 is the goal. ?
Since I moved here about 2 years ago there's only usually the same 3 people who work in the bookies and they know me so I think it's ok that they wouldn't let me in again.
Yeah I'm just trying to distract myself more during the day iv just been watching a lot of films and got a few box sets lined up which seems to be working ok so far.
Ha that's not sad I would call that being organised and it shows your dedication that you are determined to clear your debts I'm sure you will get it done within the 2 years.
Is it just online that you gamble,have you self excluded yourself from the sites you play.
Hi lee
Yes online is my weakness so I have signed up to gamstop. It covers most online betting sites in the uk and means I can’t sign into any of them
I have not been tempted so far and hope to stay that way. It’s really early for me so need to check I don’t slip. Weekends can be an issue as I am helping care for my dad at the moment so it’s a lot of just being there at mum and dads which means little to distract if he is having a snooze. At home I could clean or tidy but as mum is home full time her house is clean. Last weekend was ok as first weekend on here and had remorse for what I had wasted on Friday.
as this weekend approaches feel I will need to be logged on here more for support. Mum is out for afternoon tea with friends so will be just me and dad. Will have to keep busy somehow.
Films and boxsets sets are good. Any recommendations?
but I'm quite a shy person anyway so I would be too embarrassed to go back in there now anyway after telling them I had lost so much.
That's great Lee.
I think that's the same for most people - self exclusion isn't just a brilliant tool, it's a line in the sand saying we have had enough.
Thanks k2,I had to get a bit of courage up to do it but glad I did and it's 30 seconds from my house but my nearest one now is about a mile away so it should take a lot of the impulse out of my gambling
Hi Sarah,that's really good that you have signed up to gamstop just be careful that with you now hopefully not being able to gamble online that don't look for other ways to gamble,that's what happened with me I have gambled online a lot over the years and over time whenever I had a big loss on a site I would self exclude myself from that site then I would find another one and do the same thing over and over.so for about the past 3 years there's not really any sites I can use now but it just made me hit the bookies and arcades harder.
Yeah this weekend does sound like it's gonna be tough for you especially the times you are on your own when your dad is taking a nap but if you get through it it shows that you are making progress.
I read in your thread that you told your parents about your gambling when you were younger,do they know that you still have issues around gambling,I told my parents about 10 years ago but they think I stopped around that time and don't know that I have been still doing it all along.
Hope you have had a good day
Hi lee
they don’t know about my relapse and I don’t want to tell them. I don’t want to cause them stress and as long as I stayed employed. Been same place for a lot of years, I should be able to manage my way out.
Just got got to fight the fight. Have you had a good day. I have been at work all day so no chance of being tempted. Hope you and your daughter are well. As a woman I would find going to bookies a bit awkward. Arcades are a good 40 minutes away so lucky not to have close temptation x
Saw you briefly on group chat. Wished you had said hi. I know you said shy but new lady on tonight. Claire and she started chatting. Sometimes you can just sit and watch. It can help. ?
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