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That hour that's broken my family  

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Charlieboy
(@charlieboy)

Hi kev I'm good ty. How r u ? I've written a long reply to pop124 u replied to her earlier. Her story really touched me and I feel that she's going to have  a very difficult time coming. I'm still on the gamble free bus and I'm staying on there !! Hope you are doing good today .

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Posted : 14th July 2020 4:07 pm
Charlieboy
(@charlieboy)

Hi kev hope you are ok. I'm so excited off to the shop to get cricket kit. My boy is in the county cricket team on Tuesday !!!!! 

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Posted : 15th July 2020 9:18 am
Charlieboy
(@charlieboy)

Where's my buddy? You ok kev ?

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Posted : 17th July 2020 4:55 pm
Charlieboy
(@charlieboy)

Once again kev I've posted for you on my thread, don't you to think I haven't replied . Silly me again !!

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Posted : 18th July 2020 2:38 pm
Kevthekev40
(@kevthekev40)

Hiya all

Just thought I'd write a few words as I've not been to good with my mental health at moment. Things at home are still up and down so I know that doesn't help me much,  I'm still in the stage that I hate the gambling company's and it really annoys me how I allow them to effect me in the past the way they have. I find myself thinking alot about my last loss as for me it's the biggest to date plus the one that's caused most damage to my family and my own mental health. I believe I'm too impulsive and I've put things in place to limit that impulse, I  know theirs ways round banning yourself from place and betting full stop but I also think if I get the impulse to gamble again by the time I'd manage to find someway off gambling the impulse would've went!  Well that's the way I think it will go at the moment. So with that in mind I feel secure having that information in my head as it always worried me if I was to relapse I could always find away to gamble, but I know with being a problem gambler that I can go 1 to 2yrs gamble free then have the impulse to gamble and that's when the damage is down, I suppose we will have to wait and see as I've always said that I can't say I'll never gamble again as said this to many times in the past fooling myself into believing I had it all under control as I know that my problem is I'll never have it under control so that's why I take it one day at a time , even if I went 10yrs without gambling I'd still have a problem as it's that onetime that causes massive damage and havoc. What a horrible way for us to self harm it's so bad an addiction it can even leave us with the thoughts off taken our life. The most important thing we have, I'm really happy that I've found this site as I know we all have things at different stages but at the same time we're all the same and help each other out with our experiences and it's just good to have you all who's helped me some of you know who you are plus others who don't know as I've read there story and what they've achieved so to everyone on the site thanks for being you and thanks for the honesty you've put a cross as everyone is someone and we're all in this together 

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Posted : 18th July 2020 4:13 pm
Charlieboy
(@charlieboy)

Keep going kev...... I'm behind you pushing . Take care

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Posted : 19th July 2020 10:21 am
Kevthekev40
(@kevthekev40)

I know that Charlieboy 

You've always been there for me and vice a versa the only way is forward, we've both learned that. One day at a time my friend 

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Posted : 19th July 2020 4:09 pm
MythDunk
(@mythdunk)

Sorry you’ve had a bad few days Kev but it’s just like you to start like that and finish your post being so positive for everyone! I understand entirely why you are still 5inking of that last loss. Just keep working at making it the very last loss you’ll ever experience.

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Posted : 19th July 2020 6:21 pm
Kevthekev40
(@kevthekev40)

Thanks mythedunk 

Things haven't been great my friend but I guess we all have times like that and We just have to get past it and just remember tomorrow's another day and as you say making it my last loss will help me through this hell whole, life is hard at moment but I know we can all make it through as without that belief We wouldn't be on this site trying our hardest to improve our life going forward not back, thanks again mythedunk and take care

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Posted : 19th July 2020 6:32 pm
Charlieboy
(@charlieboy)

Hi kev sounds like you are a little bit better today I'm glad. I told my son today and he was awesome about it all. The only thing that made him angry was that I hadn't told him before and that he had been worried I was dying he barely skipped a beat when I told him that I was trying my best to recover from a gambling addiction. I feel v humbled by him today. I said that I know there will be questions and from now on I will be open and honest with him and he can ask me anything. Let's keep going now kev we can do this

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Posted : 20th July 2020 2:40 pm
Charlieboy
(@charlieboy)

Hey kev I'm good ty been to cricket with son and husband every day. They are trying to cram the season in. It's helping massively with my mental health out and about outdoors and with other parents most of whom I really like. Over last week me and hubby are making progress working on us it actually feels good.  U sound ok in your posts, so hope you are. Catch up soon

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Posted : 21st July 2020 1:40 pm
Charlieboy
(@charlieboy)

Hey kev u doing ok ? How did your call with gp go? So many new people on here every day !! I always try to post for new people can't keep up so many. Me and hubby are trying, I have told him that no more lying means no more lying when he's upset me/been out of order so we will see , I'm keeping an open mind. My son knowing makes things easier as it was killing me covering things up with him when I'm getting away from lying being secretive etc. He humbled me kev when he found out that I wasn't dying he was so relieved he barely skipped a beat about the gambling. I have told him from now on that I will openly discuss anything with him. His only question was is our house safe, as soon as I told him 100% yes like a typical young person, " ok I'm good " how are things for you at home ? The thing is kev guilt and shame keeps us stuck in the cycle ,can't keep saying sorry, at some stage things have to move on. Speak soon take care

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Posted : 23rd July 2020 9:30 am
Charlieboy
(@charlieboy)

Hi kev. I'm thinking positive that the doctor is going to help my mate on monday. Take care and I'll post again before monday. Gamble free is good !!

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Posted : 24th July 2020 10:05 pm
Charlieboy
(@charlieboy)

Kev u never need to apologise to me ok , as long as you're ok. I'm hoping the psychiatrist can help make things a bit better for you. Take care of yourself my mate 

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Posted : 25th July 2020 5:59 pm
Charlieboy
(@charlieboy)

Hi kev hope you're ok. Just wanted to say hello I'm out today watching guess what..... Cricket lol. So won't be on full tonight. If I don't catch you later I hope the doctor can help you tomorrow I'll be rooting for you.

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Posted : 26th July 2020 9:12 am
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