That hour that's broken my family

I get you Charlieboy 

At the end of the day you know when it's the right time and what's the benefit of your son known now? You know when your son has to know and why tell him when your their on your own it may just make him worry about you plus who's best interest is it for your son to know?  I had to tell mine, well he was here when the ambulance came ect. So he new but if I could've I would've shielded him

Yes exactly kev want to shield him bit longer he's not16 till Christmas. Husband will be working away for quite a few weeks yet its not fair to make him feel he needs to watch me. I will tell him ,it's important but let me get some more time under my belt ehh. I cried talking to the counsellor about it so I would like to feel a bit stronger about everything. That must have been really difficult for all of you kev.

I would rather they don't know 

If you can keep it away from him as long as you can then that's good as down the line you can say that you've been gamble free for a good while then he won't worry as much. That's the way I would like it to go as you don't want him thinking that things in the house are strained as you know kids aren't daft and can feel the atmosphere. All you want to do is keep them protected. So are you having less stress as you're husband's away for abit? You deserve to relax and not have atmosphere about you for abit. Sometimes we have to think of ourselves as being down all the time over what we've done doesn't work 

Bit too relaxed kev, haven't washed up the tea dishes !!

Yes up till now when he asked why me and dad had been arguing I just said about money. So not the whole truth but also not a lie. 

I get YOU

Kids can feel when something is wrong and telling him the truth I can't really see how that would do your son any good at the moment, do you? As it's not that your protecting yourself it's just he's going to worry about you more 

Yes I won't him to enjoy his teenage years not have the weight of the world on him. 

Hi kev hope your ok. Can't remember was it today your zoom meeting? If it is hope goes well and you find it helpful.

Hiya Charlieboy 

Hope your doing ok. Thanks my cbt group started at 5:30pm but for some stupid reason I can't get on to zoom even though I've spent the whole day putting different versions off zoom on my tablet so I never actually got on to the meeting but someone from the nhs organization got in contact saying not to worry as I wasn't the only one. But I hate missing things especially the first meeting, I'm so sick off all these zoom meetings the sooner we can get back to face to face meetings! Makes me more stressed than I'm in already. But the facilitator off the group is going to phone me tomorrow. I've just had 1 of those days today that's left me at breaking point just can't be bothered with anything or anybody.  Just feel like being on my own 

Hi kev. Zoom is not the best my son does a kickboxing class on a zoom meeting doesn't always work. Yes I'm looking forward to face to face meetings again can't even see GP at the moment you can't sort everything out by phone !! Sorry you're feeling rough hope tomorrow brings a better day

Hiya Charlieboy 

Hope your doing okay and enjoying yourself husband free as at the end off the day we know better than anyone the wrong we've done but by telling us all the time do they really think it's going to make us better? As I've said to you before we've all made mistakes and a lot off them are a lot worse than gambling. I wasn't too good yesterday but got to talk to my doctor who subscribed me a sleeping aid to knock an elephant out as can't remember the last time I slept. Well I woke up half hour ago and if I don't sleep for another week I will be happy as I really needed that. My partner went back to bed when I got up but I'm not going to let it bother me I'm doing what I can and if she doesn't see that as enough so be it  one off us Will have to go and all that's stopped me doing that is the kids. But sometimes It better for them to go. Who knows.  Hope your okay 

Hey kev. Yeah knew you were struggling. Good sleep does wonders. He's home later on today so we will see !! Sad fact.... Wouldn't bother me one bit if he left but it would hurt our son so for that reason I want him to come home. The dogs miss him lol , they'll be wagging their tails( glad I haven't got a tail) !!

I know what you mean 

I hope he comes back with a different frame of mind as you deserve to have the support and hopefully when he's been away he realises that mistakes happen and you've all been through enough. I hope so anyway. I'm glad you had some quality time with your son and feel proud that you've not gambled as it would've been so easy for you to do 

Hiya all

I've just got to get things out my head as for some strange reason today my partner took herself to bed and has been there all day, I'm getting tired of this I know I did what I did but ever since I've been interacting with so much help and support it's taking over my life. I believe you can only take so much in at once. Am I being wrong should I be working with 4 different people at the onetime. I just seem to be getting lost with who's saying what to me. I don't know but its all draining. Just wanted a rant but please feel free to comment 

Hey kev you ok you seem  a bit more positive today I've seen you posting for people, I know that's a positive thing for you. Are you and your partner speaking now? Or are you still in the just occupying the same space ? Husband came home in a good mood !! , I'm not fooled though he can change a heartbeat.