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So stupid and sad  

 
Ameliasgran
(@ameliasgran)

Hi, I can’t remember the last time I gambled, I have eventually got a healthy savings account and current account after such a long spell of heavy gambling but last night, had a lot to drink, very bored and found a site I could go on, I was determined to gamble it was like I wasn’t myself anyway lost £700 and feel so sad today, all that hard work wasted.  I really don’t know what I was thinking it was as though I didn’t care, woke at 3am very anxious and hating myself, why did I do it ? 

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Posted : 3rd May 2021 10:42 am
c43h
 c43h
(@c43h)

I once lost 6000 pounds on the roulette P****d. Can not remember doing it. As you already mentioned. Alcohol is no friend when you gamble. The best thing is to try and avoid both as much as possible.

Best

C

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 3rd May 2021 11:58 am
Winterishere
(@winterishere)

Hi

Well done for a stint without gambling. Are you registered with Gamstop? Really works well for many people. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 3rd May 2021 12:16 pm
Chris.UK
(@chris-uk)

@ameliasgran I'm sorry to hear that you have gambled. You ask why did you do it? Do you accept that you are an addict and that the addiction will wait patiently for you to be vulnerable? Unless you work on this you will fidn a way back to gambling. But there's the simple answer, work on it. 
If you're feeling like you are struggling, pick up the phone. Find a support group. Confide in your husband for support. Find a GA room. There's so much you can do to help yourself. If the gambling came because of the drink, which is a very common thing, put the drink down. If you can't then address that too.

Good luck to you

Chris

ReplyQuote
Posted : 3rd May 2021 2:44 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Dear @ameliasgran,

I am sorry to read about your lapse and sorry to read how down you are feeling about it. I would really like to reassure you that all the hard work you've put into your recovery so far is not for nothing. You are here, a few hours later and you are talking about it, you are taking action.

I would recommend that you speak to your bank to have a merchant block put on your account, this way you essentially block gambling transactions on your bank card/account.

Alcohol is definitely dangerous when you are in recovery so if you do know you are planning on a big social maybe the idea would be to lock your phone/laptop/tablet away for the evening or the night?

I would also recommend that you speak to your husband as this is a good opportunity to build bridges with honesty. You are not back to 'square one', you had a blip. It's how we move on from blips that's important. 

Please  call us any time for further support, we are here 24/7.

Wishing you all the very best,

Eva

Forum Admin

ReplyQuote
Posted : 3rd May 2021 4:11 pm
maxmaher
(@maxmaher)

think i can remember seeing your profile a few months ago 

obviously complancency is a massive risk to gamblers and recovering gamblers

a lot of people claim that the lockdowns were good for gambling addicts because they stopped them from going to the bookies & casinos but i believe the reality to be they all just went online instead which i think is 20x as dangerous 

 

anyway £700 is a fair wack but not the end of the world ...... its important you quickly shake off both the gambling and booze hangovers and start sorting yourself out again get back on the wagon

start with 1 day , then 14 days , then 3o days etc etc 

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 4th May 2021 9:41 am
Joydivider
(@joydivider)

The answers why you did it are there. I think you know them but like many gamblers, relapsing gamblers or binge gamblers you are not ready to face them.

Alcohol and gambling are escape drugs and they egg each other on. Its not really about the money. This addiction will bide its time and the thought in your head is based on a feeling of somebody be good to me and I will take the dopamine/ adrenaline while I pretend the computer machine is on my side while escaping from reality

The truth is you left the door wide open to easily gamble. The truth is you should have a monitoring group and people you can talk to about gambling being the most dangerous thing you can do. The truth is you dont yet see how deadly dangerous this addiction is and do enough to protect your money and block your options to gamble.

Are you ready to go deep enough to see the answers. The reason I gambled is that is was the drug that temporarily distracted me from my twisted anxiety and loneliness, My jaded view of life that there was little point to it, My failed relationships because I drifted into them like a leaf on the wind. If the woman asked and latched onto me I was in and that's no way to properly plan a future. The deep thoughts that I have felt more lonely and used in relationships than without them...my false vanity and lack of ambition...oh I would like the financial rewards but have never known what Ive really wanted to do or get good at. My lack of talent as I see it...Im a thinker and not a doer.......a drifter...... a daydreamer but really conscientious in minimum wage style jobs that I do. 

I dont like work...never really have...it always been a source of bullying coldness and the rat race. I now have work in hospitality that I quite enjoy as I build other income streams

You see the answers why I couldnt face life drug free are there and Im now working properly on it during recovery. I was hiding from myself and my life is now improving.

Are you ready to tell people about your deep feelings because the answers are within you

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

This post was modified 7 days ago 2 times by Joydivider
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Posted : 4th May 2021 10:38 am
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