Serious Relapse

Hi Stephen. I’m the same had a relapse last night after 30 days. Have the same feelings as you have today. Hoping for some advice to. 

Hi guys, I went about 7 months without gambling by different methods. I have been to physical meetings of GA and have found them fantastic in the past which may be a option for you both.

after 7 months I had a  relapse and I am now 89 days in of not gambling again by forcing myself to come onto this forum and read and hopefully help others as this addiction will want to isolate you and want you to continue gambling again.

opening up about relapses and talking to love ones and friends helps too.

I normally resight the serenity prayer in my head when ever a gambling advert or thought pops into my brain! 

"God grant me the serenity"

"to accept the things I can not change’

"courage to change the things I can"

"and wisdom to know the difference"

a 12 step program and meeting people in person via GA gamblers anonymous is a very good start to push yourself forward on your journey and being gamble free. 

I hope this helps as I have got a wealth of knowledge for my own journey from this site and ga

I hope you are both ok 

Dave101

Hi Stephen,

You're not pathetic. You're human and humans are fallible. I know relapses are hard because you feel like you've let your self down, but it's the fantasy that draws you in. 

I'm trying to quit but I'm still caught in the fantasy of believing I can win and fight back. I know that's not the point because a win leads to the desire to continue and that's the never ending trap, but I still struggle to let go too. I can rationalize it but it's still really hard, so I can completely empathize with you.

You have to identify the point where your decision to gamble went from a fleeting thought to a reality and establish what went through your mind at that point to break the cycle. Was it the fantasy of the potential win or a belief you could rectify the past mistakes/losses? You probably weren't thinking I could lose and feel awful. 

That's because the brain shuts down the likely negative consequence and focuses more on the potential of a positive outcome. 

If somebody said to flip a coin with 2 outcomes. Heads was to win a billion pounds and tails was to be chained to a train track, with a small piece of wire to try and pick the lock before being squashed by a locomotive, would you risk it?

You wouldn't because the consequence would be perceived as too big. That's the key. You need to retrain your mind to consider the potential negative consequence as too damaging.

When I first starting betting I used to be upset losing 50p but now I can lose £200 on a horse race and be ok with it, even though in reality it's not good. That's because it's relative to what I am winning and losing and I think I can win it back on the next race. I'm trying to retrain my mind to perceive the consequence differently though and not focus on the fantasy of the potential win. 

It's the addictive trap that made you relapse, but try to focus more on the potential negative consequence when you get tempted.

It's like taking a shortcut over dangerous waters to reach your destination vs taking the longer safer route. Money is the same.

Put £100 in an envelope and hold a dice. Pick a number 1-6 and role the dice. Every time you get it wrong pretend you have lost your £100. It might help gain perspective on just how fragile it is when you bet and retrain your mind to view it differently. I'm going to give it a go. 

Hi,

I’ve had more relapses than a lot of you have had hot dinners. I can give you some tips on whats helped me over the years. 

This drug has got so much worse, back in the old days I had to physically go into a bookies and hand over cash. There was no internet. I could see the cash. I could feel the cash. It was in my hand. And Rob would never allow huge bets anyway, in case the punter won!

These days it’s far too easy, you can lose thousands just sitting in front of the tv. 
And here’s the thing, you no longer have the concept of cash, it’s just a number in your balance at the top of the screen. 
I’ve put 3k on a boxing match. I’ve put 5k on the football. The sense of any monetary value is gone. 
Take £100 into a shop and look at what you can buy. You can buy some really nice things for £100. But sit on the screen and £100 means nothing because it’s just a number. It’s this I always try and remember. Look at that number in your balance and convert that in your head to real cash. What could you buy with that money? Those are nice things aren’t they?

See, it’s all in your head. It not in anyone else’s head. It’s in your head.
Don’t think the blockers and bans and complaints and parents will do all the work for you, they won’t. It’s all in your head my son.

A distraction isn’t needed, it’s a change of lifestyle that you need.