63 days gambling free but I am not happy, my new obsession is my debts, I am paying everything minimum payment but snowballing paying as much as I can off one account to clear it, but I can’t sleep worrying about my debt which didn’t bother me when I was gambling. Trying so hard to cope with my mums death but the debts seemed to be taking over my mind. I so wish I didn’t have to live in my own head, it’s so painful I hate who I was and the affects of what I did.
Hi
Great that your focusing on paying off your debts. You'll feel so great and free when you've paid it all off. You're doing brilliant, just keep going. It's very debilitating living in your own head. The constant overthinking everything is exhausting and coping with bereavement is very hard so good on you for moving forward one day at a time. Hope things improve for you. Take care x
Hi
Have you looked into debt solutions??.. I’ve recently gone into an IVA (an Individual Voluntary Arrangement) but there are many other debt solutions. With the situation I have I’ve worked out with my Insolvency Practitioner what I can reasonably afford to pay each month while still having enough to live. My monthly payments shrank from around £690pm to £200pm to my debts I’m protected by law now and none of them can contact me . It’s a 5 year deal and about £10k is written off after 5 years anyway. Definitely do a google and look into your options.
All the best
Calvin
Hi, I did look at step change but they said I would need to look at selling my house which is a definite no. Not sure if my debts are too high for an IVA. I would willingly enter into an IVA but just offered debt management plan which means debtors can still pursue me and force me into bankruptcy, sure my husband would love that, losing our home in our 60,s.
@ameliasgran You shouldn't have to go into an IVA although that it one way of getting a debt cleared. All the creditors have to agree and then they don't pursue you and you then have a payment that you're comfortable with.
Many years ago I used a company called Payplan who are still around now. They helped me set up a debt repayment plan, not an IVA, at a monthly payment that was affordable. They contact all the companies involved and get them to freeze the charges. They also work for free. You could also make overpayments if you wanted to but that was purely my choice, depending on how my bonus went.
Chris.
Hi, don't know how much your debts are, but I have set up a debt management plan with Stepchange for £27k credit card debt with no mention of having to sell up. It will take a long time to pay off but they know I own my own house so may be worth checking with them
Hi AG,
I thought about this and its so hard to give you the words you want to hear. These are the heavy consequences of pathological or problem gambling.
We were not just gambling withe coins and notes...we were gambling with relationships, our security, our futures and our assets...we were gambling with everything and that is why gambling is so dangerous as an addiction.
Your mental health comes first and you can not let the debts worry you into a state of deep unhappiness or prone to relapse. You just cant so whatever thought processes and support from professionals family and friends...you need to search deep and reach out for
Gambling was never the answer to any anxiety or everyday troubles...they were pushing a drug on us which many used to try combat stress or escape for a while...simply stated they were pushing a shot in the arm which was hooking and destroying us.
There is financial advice and help for you. We dont know the full facts and we are not financial advisors.
Yes they will recover debts to the best of their ability and your house is an asset. It shouldnt have to come to that but Im not going to soft soap you away from reality. Bankruptcy is an option but the house is an asset and they will be looking at assets
If you owe other people money they will rightly ask for it back. You are allowed a living allowance and you will build strength by facing reality...something that active problem gamblers never really did especially once addicted.
So there comes a point where your mental health is an absolute top priority as you need to recover and get some pleasures from life. There comes a point where your house is not your greatest worry...do you understand?
Your life will be better gamble free...thats a fact! With professional advice you will get through this and you are going to have to be open and honest in a true born again moment.
This is a rock bottom moment for you and its where all problem gamblers are heading. The fog of fear and confusion does lift with the right advice, help and support
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
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